Reminds me of Night on EarthThis thread reminds me of a scene from Jim Jarmusch's "Night on Earth", where Roberto Benigni plays a cab driver, Gino, driving a monsignor around Rome. One of the funniest movie scenes ever...
Night on Earth
written by Jim Jarmusch
Gino: I have so many sins to confess, Father. First thing, when I was about 12 or 13 years old, when boys become big men, well each his own physique, and you begin to feel that desire for ... how can I say it? For love. For sex. You feel the need for release, you understand, to relieve the desire to ... Anyway, I lived in the country, where there weren't many women, and though you're still a kid, inside you feel a man's feeling, and there was no way to relieve this feeling. So the idea, not mine but a real intelligent friend of mine's, of relieving ourselves with, to make love with ... how do I say this? With pumpkins. Pumpkins. Warm, soft, damp, with seeds inside, so round -- and we would -- toom ta toom -- help me find the words, Father -- we relieved ourselves with these pumpkins.
But then after a certain age, I quit. I don't know if my friend quit, but that's his business. I quit, because I felt, Father, and I'm sure you'll agree, in growing up to be a sensitive, even religious man that love is something every man needs, but not with a vegetable, but with something alive ... something that moves, that's warm, that looks you in the eyes. Something with a soul --- anyway there was a sheep. A beautiful little sheep. Father, she was nice, kind, sweet, pretty, I called her Lola. Not an ugly old sheep like the others, but a little sheep. So delicate, refined. Soft wool, two big eyes watching me. At first, I didn't even notice. And what a sweet little voice: "baaah baaah" and I was enchanted. Not like the other sheep, "baah" but "baah." Her movements were so refined. She'd come beside me and somehow I was always on top of her. She was so pretty, even erotic. She would embarrass me because she would come around when I was with my friends. People began to notice this, it was embarrassing.
In fact finally my father noticed. A horrible memory. You know what he did? He sold her to a -- a -- a -- a -- a butcher, a butcher, my Lola, he sold my Lola to a butcher, a butcher named Guido Rusticoni. A fat, hairy, sweaty guy. Rude, uneducated, really ugly, disgusting. He was horrible. My Lola to a butcher for 80000 lire. I felt so badly that I haven't eaten meat since. Even now when they ask me "Do you want some lamb?" Me lamb? No thanks. And I don't eat vegetables either because of the pumpkins. In fact, I don't eat much at all anymore.
It was very traumatic for me. What I want to say is I understand that these are big sins, but truly, father, they are sins of love.
So my brother Vincenzo lives here in Rome too. He's a plumber, repairs pipes, water. One night he invited me to dinner, he and my sister-in-law Monica. So I went to their house. They have female dog too, very cute. So after dinner, he got an emergency call, the pipes exploded in a condominium-- water everywhere. And like a lightning bolt he ran off with his tools, and I was left alone with Monica. Now Monica is beautiful. You should see her, absolutely gorgeous. She really likes me. She always look at me with those strange sister-in- law eyes. At their wedding I said "Congratulations," she looked at me strangely. She married my brother, and we're the same type. Well, I'm even more handsome than he is. So Monica and I were alone. She started cleaning at the sink. As she bent over, I was sitting behind her like this, and from this position I saw two cheeks. Two cheeks. Mama mia! An ass from out of this world. With tiny white panties, riding up a little so you could see one whole cheek, the other was partly covered. Father, I couldn't control myself. She turned and looked at me with those eyes, and suddenly I was on top of her. Father, that beautiful ass -- pink, soft, round like a pumpkin. Those soft wool panties reminded of the sheep. The pumpkin, the sheep, my brother's wife, I was on fire! Then we were on the floor, under the table. The beauty of it! What pleasure! We enjoyed ourselves like ... imagine, Father! Heaven on earth! I said to myself "But this is my brothers wife!" but I couldn't stop and I said it again "It's your brothers wife. Stop!" but I couldn't. Ta ta toom! Ta ta toom! It lasted hours. And she screamed, "Aaah!" and I screamed "Aaah!" It was terrible. Just beautiful. I turned her over and kissed her all over -- her neck, her perfect breasts. I stayed there all night. I never went back because she's my brother's wife, although he never noticed anything. Now she smiles whenever she sees me, and I say "Remember when we ****ed like animals on the floor?" It was truly paradise. My gorgeous sister-in-law.
I don't know if you ever made love with your sister-in-law, Father, but you should try it, because it's absolute heaven. Then you just confess, it's incredible. Father, I know these sins must be confessed, but they were just so wonderful. Monica. Beautiful.