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post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
A man gets pulled over by a cop.

The cop says, "Sir, I stopped you because you were crossing the center line. I am going to give you a breathalizer."

"You can't," says the man, "that would be discrimination."

"And why's that?" asks the cop.

"Because I am asthmatic."

"Fine," says the cop, "then I have to take blood and we will have it analyzed at the hospital."

"Can't do that, either, sir."

"And why would that be?" asks the now agitated cop.

"Because I am a hemopheliac. I'll bleed to death."

"Look, buddy," fumes the cop, "let's just do this the easy way. Get out of the car for a field sobriety check."

"I can't do that, either," responds the man.

"And why is that?" asks the furious policeman.

"Cause I'm f&#kin' wasted," the man says.
post #2 of 2
On another forum one of the guys is RCMP.

He stops (after a major bilzzard), to check out a car that is stuck tight into the snow in drifts along side of the road so they put the lights on.

He looks inside the car (the motor is still running), and there is an old geezer asleep at the wheel with a bottle of whisky in plain sight so he taps on the window with his flashlight to wake the guy up.

When the old guy finally does wake up and sees the rotating lights of the car, he puts his car into drive and tries to take off and his wheels are spinning like mad.

The Mountie sees the guy looking down at his speedometer as he tries to "get away" .... and pretends he is running alongside of the car hollering to the guy to pull over .... the old drunk flustered at the Mountie running alongside his car ... finally shuts off the engine.
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