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Backsliding in recovery - Page 31

post #901 of 1017
Originally Posted by Bonni View Post




I'm feeling better.

 Me too.  Those slow back falls hurt the most. Too much stuff to twist us about.   The big falls usually lose the skis and most of the dangers go with them. 


I hope you keep feeling better. You just survived a big test and you survived intact.  I'm liking that thought. You should too.

post #902 of 1017

Sunday afternoon (Targhee)


Bonni - blue coat, me- red coat, skier_j - off-grey shown as tan for visibility.


On one of the most scenic parts of Dreamweaver, too. 

post #903 of 1017

Glad you're feeling better my Queen.

post #904 of 1017
Thread Starter 

I remember saying on Saturday at Snow King, "I feel GOOD.   I don't want to stop."   It's like that.  When I feel strong and there's no pain, I just want to keep skiing.   I buckled and went in with everyone else at 3:30.  I could have skied till 8 pm. 


The next day, not at all comfortable right from the start. 


Ski when you can.

post #905 of 1017

And how's the headache?



Originally Posted by Bonni View Post


I remember saying on Saturday at Snow King, "I feel GOOD.   I don't want to stop."   It's like that.  When I feel strong and there's no pain, I just want to keep skiing.   I buckled and went in with everyone else at 3:30.  I could have skied till 8 pm. 


The next day, not at all comfortable right from the start. 


Ski when you can.


post #906 of 1017
Thread Starter 

It was duller on vacation, and I felt better than at home.  It's back again within 2 days of being home. 


I'm convinced it's something in this area.......water, atmospheric pressure, something we keep moving with us place to place........I just don't know. 


I tried on my ski boot yesterday hoping to go skiing, but it's still too tender.   I'll give it a few more days, then try again.  There's still a little more of the season left out here (very little).

post #907 of 1017

Get yourself a copy of David Gilmour Live in Gdan'sk Shipyard and kick back.


It's a four disk, 2 cd's 2 dvd's of some of the most awesome music i've heard in years.


Disk 2 of the cd has one of the best versions of Comfortably Numb and Echoes I've ever heard, ever.


Disk 3, DVD, is unbelievable. A full Concert in 5.1 Dolby Sound that blows my Sony 50" and Surround Sound System to hell. WOW!


Recorded live August 26th, 2006


Disk 4 is some studio live stuff from some sessions in England including some of the last stuff he and Richard Wright did together. Great stuff and a nice cut of Shine On You Crazy Diamond.


It was $49 well spent.

post #908 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the tip, Lars.   I'll see if I can find a copy.   I'm a huge Floyd Fan, and not for just the popular stuff.


I saw them in Canada for the Division Bell tour.   Breathlessly good.

post #909 of 1017



I just think it's great that you're able to get out and ski. 


Even if it's not as much as you'd like ... you've come a long way !




Thanks for the Floyd tip Lars.  I'm also a big fan !


(Today must be a break-thru day cuz it's the first day since version 2 that I've been able to post a reply from work !!!)



post #910 of 1017

How huge is Bonnie? 

post #911 of 1017

I just read this entire thread!!! Im amazed first by your willingness to share and second by the supporters here.  Im new to this site in general but compared to most other boards this is a welcoming place.  Bonni you are "Epic".   I live in the area and ski with you all the time without knowing it.  Now I will be considering myself lucky and honored to be on the same mountains with you and if we meet I know me and Mrs Flyer would love to ski with you all day!!!!  Keep on keepin on


post #912 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Yuki, since Jan. 2007, I'm a little big bigger .I need a diet.  And you? 


Welcome to Epic, Flyer73...and Mrs. Flyer.     I hope you stick around.   If I'm able to click in by mid March, I'll PM you and we'll go tear up the greens.



HOWEVER, what in tarnation made you want to read this whole stinkin thread??   I wrote most of it, and even I don't want to reread it.   It's just too depressing! 


The saga continues, and nothing much is getting better.  I won't post in detail about the hell that went on for the last 6 weeks with the NE Pain Center here in town, but I will say that I managed to get the receptionist to actually hang up on me today, and then CALL BACK and wait for me to say Hello before she hung up again... without speaking a word.   Nice, isn't it, that people in pain have to be pushed into going ballistic?   I want her resignation.   She's even more rude than me!  ha


Thanks to Jeff for going to bat for me and making the call to the office manager to get some action.   All I wanted was an appointment.  I've been calling since Jan. 6th.   My PCP sent my records SIX TIMES to two different fax numbers.   Only when Jeff calls to complain, and I'm no longer interested in going somewhere with people this unprofessional, do we get an appointment.    For March 24th.   Gee, I've only been in pain for Two Years.  What's the HURRY?


I'm off the Neurontin as of this week.   I'm down to 100 mg a day for the next 5 days, then that's it.   My head has not improved, and along with that, my MOOOOOOD has plummeted as well.    It's foul.


I used to think that a person can only take so much pain and frustration until you're buried under the crap, but that's not true.   It just keeps piling higher and you find a way to build the snorkel a little higher to breathe above the surface.


In addition to the headache, my leg is not returning to 'normal' after the fall at Targhee.   It is still sending little electric shock-like sensations when I stand on that leg alone, and at night after I've been up all day, it has sharp shooting pains around the area of the break and above.   Not good.


My left knee, the one with the suspected meniscus tear, isn't coming along, either.   It buckles on occassion, and I step carefully now.   I can't extend it all the way anymore, either.  I have an appointment for March 10 to have MRI's done, and I talked to my doctor today and it was decided that it would be easier for me to keep that appointment than to get approval for him to order it.  


I'll know what's up in a couple of weeks.  In the meantime, it's tax time and I have plenty to keep me busy for a bit.   The snorkel is above the line for now.

post #913 of 1017
Thread Starter 



I still feel like 8 pounds of crap in a 5 pound sack, but I received David Gilmour's Live in Gdansk 2 cd-2 dvd set today in the mail.   $32 on Ebay.   This band gives me goosebumps and makes me weep, they're so good.



post #914 of 1017
Thread Starter 

I saw the orthopedist today (a different Dr because my regular Dr is doing 3 months of duty for the reserves in Afghanifrigginstan).   This guy is a hard sell.


At first, all he was concerned about was the tenderness on the previously busted leg.   An x-ray revealed no crack, fracture or other bone injury, and the holes from the IM nails are filling in nicely.  Muscle/soft tissue injury is the likely culprit there, and only time will heal that.  I noticed that on long car trips, pressing on the gas for long periods makes it ache something fierce.  Of course, just elevating it at night makes it ache, too.  If I can clamp a boot on it and pressure the tongue, I *could* ski, I suppose.


As for the left knee,  I am still not able to fully extend my leg,  and it 'catches' occassionally while I'm going down/up stairs.   Yesterday, I was just walking down the hall and I had extremely sharp pains on the side toward the back of the knee with each step for about 5 steps.   I sat down and in time it went away.


He was talking about the arthritis there and about some kind of shots....a lubricant....and I more or less talked him into scheduling an MRI.   Dr. H and I were bantering that idea about before I went to Jackson.   After the fall, I had immediate problems.  I tend to think that falling had more to do with it than a gradual worsening of arthritis, since I skied well the day before.


Waiting for them to call with my appointment.   I'm pretty sure my ski season was over last month, regardless of the results.

post #915 of 1017

Did you ever get on Glucosamine long enough to notice the benefits, soothes aching joints?


I saw David Gilmore at Jones Beach around 1984

Good stuff indeed

I've never seen Roger Waters but the guy I went to see Gilmore with saw them too that summer.  He said the Waters show was even better. I guess that would just be a matter of opinion.  I took that with a grain of salt cause my friend wasn't a muscian and was far more impaired at the Waters show.

post #916 of 1017
Thread Starter 

There are certain types of 'impairment' that have detrimental effects on the ability to enjoy music, but I've found herbal enhancement tweaks it for the better.


Have not tried glucosamine for any length of time.  


It's been nearly 24 hours since my appointment.   How long does it take to schedule an MRI??????   Jeez.   Haven't I waited long enough?   It's  been over a month!

post #917 of 1017

You'd be waiting 3 years for an MRI appointment in Cannuctistan..  My wife usually waits about 3 months.  She used to go quarterly, then 4 months, then every 6 months.  This month they finally bumped her down to once a year MRI to check for new brain tumors.  It's been 5 years since her surgery.  It looks like they really might have gotten it all, but we realize it could remain dormant for any legnth of time.  I doubt they ever stop annual MRIs as long as we have insurance to pay for most of it.

post #918 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Brain tumor!  That has to be very scary.  If nothing shows up after all that time, that's a good sign, eh?


This is a very small town.  I can't believe how long it takes to do things here.  When I was at the ortho office, it was empty of patients except for me and one other lady.  The office staff.....about 10 people for 4 doctors.....were having a slow day from the look of it.  

post #919 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Waited 90 minutes today (backed up at the ortho) just to hear, "You don't have a tear.   Your quads are really strong.   I can't do anything for you, but you should cycle, cycle, cycle."


Ride your bike.  Uh, ok.  Thanks, doc.


Pain clinic next week.   Maybe the witch doctor will shake the beads and all will cease.   I'm giving up on cures and learning to live with it.  I'm tired of spending money for nothing.

post #920 of 1017


Originally Posted by Bonni View Post



..... David Gilmour's Live in Gdansk 2 cd-set ...






CD's 1 & 2 were loaded on my computer this morning ... thanks to my oldest son.  First CD is great ... Listening to Shine On right now ... WIcked !!


Now I have to make room on my IPod.


Thanks for the tip !




Stay strong and take care of yourself.




post #921 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Went to the pain clinic today.   The new doc wants to inject something in between the vertebrae from C4-C6 with the aid of x-ray to guide the way.   I can't remember what he'll inject in there (cortisone, lubricant...marshmallow creme)....but he says, and I quote:  "Everything else has been tried and failed.   There has been some success with this."


Sometime after Easter, I'l have that done.   I have the option of being out (like colonoscopy anesthesia using versed), or just having a local.  I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I'm afraid I'll move.  Perhaps being out would be easier for the doc.


I'll try just about anything at this point.  I told the nurse today that I've given up hope and feel much better.   She laughed.   I was serious.   It was driving me nuts looking for a diagnosis.   I don't care about that anymore; I just want a little pain relief.

post #922 of 1017

I sure hope he does a spinal fluid pressure test during your procedure, Bonni. 

post #923 of 1017
Thread Starter 

AHA!   New eyes, new hope?  I will be sure to mention it when I go in April 16th!

post #924 of 1017
Thread Starter 

I forgot about the spinal fluid pressure test!  ACK!  


I was sick last night and threw up dinner, par for the course.  I get anxious anymore...anxious that what I'm doing now will just be more pain without gain.  I'm starting to dread surgeries or any hospital procedures.   It just brings pain without relief.


It went ok this morning.  The local novocaine has worn off and I feel like a pincushion.   The procedure was called a Bilateral cervical facet joint injection:  cortisone.  From the cortisone I had injected in my foot for neuroma, it hurt worse the second day before it got better.  Let's hope tomorrow is a new day.   I'm to take it easy the next 3 days and let it work.  I hope I can get past today with that regimen while the weather is so nice.  Ahr.


I felt better when I was in Iowa for 2 weeks at the end of March.  With the exception of a bruiser of a headache Friday, April 3, after eating at the Tama casino All-You-Can-Eat crab legs/seafood buffet (smoke, noise, lights plus steam table scallops, eek) and being forced to leave before dessert because the headache was so severe I had to go outside and threw up all my dinner on the side of the highway about 5 miles down the road.    It's not all you can eat, but All-You-Can-Retain.  


I felt good the rest of the time.   I drove there, packed and moved my friend, washed walls, curtains, windows and shelves and shelves of knick knacks for Mom, went bowling, etc, and didn't feel crappy till the ride home.  There's something HERE, I am convinced. 


Woke up in a new Hampton Inn room in Clarion, PA on Saturday morning all stuffed up and by the time I got home that night, the day before Easter, I was starting to get the joint pains and headaches.  I was feeling fairly well when I unloaded the car on Sat afternoon, but by Monday I was back in the doldrums again with body aches and worse head pain.    Tuesday I had an apointment with the chiropractor and had a small area of back pain that started on Monday.   She made it worse, to the point where I couldn't get off the adjustment table without considerable trouble.   Grrr.   Wednesday, hard to walk, stand, etc.  Better today, but what the hell???


I want to give up.  It just isn't in my nature to quit trying, but after 2+ years, I can't see the point.

Edited by Bonni - 4/16/2009 at 07:27 pm GMT
post #925 of 1017

Clearly the only solution is to move....

post #926 of 1017

We have confirmed her allergy to the wrong coast. It's just not an easy thing to get done. I have high hopes for her and j to get it done eventually.

post #927 of 1017
Thread Starter 

OH.....MY.....GOD.   I woke up bolt upright at midnight with a growing horror (and a clear head for the first time today) that the shots were given in the Wrong Area.


I had asked Jeff to take a picture of my bandage  earlier tonight.  It felt funny.  The bandage is at T4-6, not C4-6.  It's nowhere near my neck.   Baja, can you confirm this if I post this picture?   The red spots are blood seepage and look WAY too low to be anywhere near C6...maybe the upper one.   I remember swabbing with alcohol near my hairline, but not that far down.  I was covered with a sheet.   The problem is in my NECK, not my back/shoulders.  This can't be right. 

I'm more than a little pissed and can't sleep.   GRRR

post #928 of 1017

Well, that bandage is definitely not in the C4-6 area, if that's where it's supposed to be.  (This may be the appropriate procedure and injection sites for your case, based on their protocols.  I wouldn't know.)


From the looks of it, that purple spot above the bandaged area is approximately C5-6.  The lower seepage spots are perhaps around T4.  It's difficult to determine exact levels from that picture, without observing/palpating in person.



Be careful about letting pain doctors inject cortisone into your spinal facets, Bonni.  Or any place in your body for that matter.  It's about as healthy as injecting Drano in there, as it will do more long-term damage to your cartilage and tendons than the worth of the temporary relief you may feel.  Just a few injections per year can likely cause permanent damage in articular and connective tissue.

post #929 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Thanks, Baja.  I am so far not impressed with this remedy and doubt I'll be entertaining this again.   No results so far.


I got the notes from the surgery today, and the notes say that : 


"Skin anesthesia was obtained with 1% lidocaine (like water to me....I wore 5% time release pads on my neuroma and it kind of worked).   A 22 gauge spinal needle was easily placed into or just outside of the Bilateral C3-C6 facet joints.   A total of 0.5 cc of .025% bupivacaineand 2 mg of betamethasone were injected at each level.  The patient tolerated the procedure exceedingly well and was discharged (too soon) after a suitable period of observation....."


That was their bolding, not mine.   I have to believe that they went under and up to reach the problem?   I find it a stretch to believe that was the best route.  My neck is untouched and still feels like sand is in it.


The spinal x-rays I had done last year had this result:


"There is mild narrowing of the disk space at C5-6 with mild verteral marginal and uncovertebral joint spurring.  The remaining disk spaces, vertebral bodies, alignment, curvature, odontoid and pre vertebral soft tissues are unremarkable.  No abnormal motion or displacement is demonstrated between flexion and extension.


Impressions:  Mild degenerative disk and degenerative joint disease, C5-6."


Sounds like that's an area that could use the stuff, more than T4.   It's way too low to be in the C range.   What do I know. 

post #930 of 1017
Thread Starter 

Evidently, I'm a moron.  At least I'm confirmed. 


That is exactly what he did:  enter low with the needle and inject at an angle.  So it was done right, but didn't do diddly.


For my 2 week follow up, I saw a physicians assistant, who will now be in charge of my case.   I don't rate a doctor, I guess.  He said he was 'disappointed' that the procedure didn't have any effect.   I'd take disappointed over 'Frustrated with a Capital F', just ask me, I dare ya.


He mumbled something like, "You're a quandary and we don't know what to do with you" and he asked to see my spinal films and any other scans.  I told him I brought them all in the first day and Dr. DM didn't want to see them, but I'll bring them back.  I took them to him a couple hours later. 


He also told me to stop taking Tylenol PM.  I'm on Zoloft to keep me homicidal and not suicidal, 81 mg of aspirin and 2 Tylenol PM daily (before bedtime) and that's been it for the last 5 months.   (Going off all meds has not improved the situation).  Tylenol PM was recommended by Dr. J as something fairly benign to help me get to sleep and stay asleep.....and it works, for the most part.  I get 6 solid hours of sleep a day, which is more than the 3-4 I get without it.  My memory is improved with deeper sleep (and Zoloft) and I get some rest.


Now I can't have that, either?  WTF?  I was sent out the door with no information other than to stop the meds that help.  My next appointment is July 30.  I waited 6 months for THIS?  


Meanwhile, my right ear started to vibrate with some kind of pressure......like driving with the back window down on the highway.  ANNOYING.  It's also painful, and for the last 2 weeks (ever since the cortisone in the facets) I've been going nuts.  I made an appointment with my PCP and he again reiterated the same thing:  "I can't do anything for you", looked in my ears and said they look good, suggested I try Flonase and try to get it in the eustachian tube area because that was most likely the cause.....allergy or inflammation.  


He also rolled his eyes when I asked him if it's a problem to keep using Tylenol PM daily and said, "You're in my office now.   Keep taking it."   That's 2 to 1 for it, one against, so I'm gonna continue it.   Who the hell do I believe anymore? 


Lesson:  If you want the answer you like, just keep asking the question.


A few days ago, my head hurt so bad my hair follicles hurt...   Bee stings followed by a whack with a rubber mallet.   Every few minutes for almost a whole day.   I couldn't stand up, sit down, lie down or float without this unrelenting crap going on.   I have some stomach pain back again, and I can deal with that, but it's still not gone.


I have a May 27 appt at a women's headache clinic near Boston, but I don't hold out hope for that, either.  I made that appointment late last year.   If I hear something stupid from them, I'm giving up.  I'd rather not keep hoping for answers and getting let down over and over.  You can only throw so much money at a problem before you just give up and live with it.


Celebrate your good health today!


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