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How to speak Southern

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
For all you folks who travel south of the Mason Dixon line, here's a small list to help you translate
some of the common language:

Hah Tu Spek Suthun:

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "Ma brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.

Usage: "Ma brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.

Usage: "Ma brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope ma brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.

Usage: "If ma brother from Jawjuh doan change the all in my pickup truck,
that things gone catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.

Usage: "If you doan stop reading these Southern words and git back to
work, your bahs is goan far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.

Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doan git a flat tar in
my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willin' and the creeks doan rise, I shore do hope to see that
Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.

Usage: "Ma granpaw retard at age 65."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for our rats."

FARN - adjective. Not local.

Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn

JU-HERE - a question.

Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently
toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?"
"Nah ... haze ignert."

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.

Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"
post #2 of 3
Some of them must here. Check out www.mytrailerpark.com.
post #3 of 3
Gud speling on mi part.It wuz suposed two say: " Some of them must live here." D-oh!!
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