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Skiing with Hemorrhoids - Page 2

post #31 of 54
don't they have creams for this kind of thing?
post #32 of 54
you and ashleyskis would get along nicely.
post #33 of 54
What everybody else said here AND.....completely stop using that recycled generic TP. Some are allergic to the chemicals in it.
post #34 of 54
Now....before somebody else says it.....Yeah I have skied with hemorroids before,:

at every Let's Go Colorado Event
post #35 of 54
Truckers Revenge. After my first case from getting your guts ponded out of you from off road driving in Log trucks. Rutin 500 at the health food store. Yes it reallly does work. Now does anyone know how to fix lower backs.:
post #36 of 54

where'd she go

yo,

can we get jasmine to chime in here?

:
post #37 of 54
One word: "Bidet"

post #38 of 54
Does the PSIA differ in its approach to 'roids than PMTS?
post #39 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by U.P. Racer View Post
I don't know about those pills.... I took them for 'roids one time.

I gotta be honest with you, for all the good they did, I might as well have shoved them up my a$$.
You sure it wasn't a suppository that you were SUPPOSED to shove up your a$$?
post #40 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky Mountains View Post
... I'm 20s, incredible shape......
Not everywhere, apparently.
post #41 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirquerider View Post
One word: "Bidet"...
2 words- Apricot Washer

post #42 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by BushwackerinPA View Post
you and ashleyskis would get along nicely.
post #43 of 54
Thread Starter 
i had a great day today skiing the bumps, no $hit. things seemed to be a little rocky to start, but it ended up fine. i even piled up the vert.

(end of ass related puns)

the roid is still there but it's actually diminished in size and pain, putting Mister RM into a pleasant and cool mood for the first time in a week. It didn't slow me down at all, and nobody was the wiser. i don't think that skiing helped it, but the roid didn't rage, and it didn't get any worse.

to the TGR guys suggesting that I slice it off with my straight blade...believe me, I've thought about it. Butt....I've also been told that the roid is indeed a blown out vein from my giving it 110% on the can. (i'm an overachiever) Slicing it off would undoubtedly cause a flood of blood from my most unholy of areas, and force the unusual and uncomfortable decision to have to go to the hospital with a gigantic blood stain in my jeans. Emerging from my apartment under said duress would indeed be a cause of great embarrassment in trying to explain to my neighbors how I began bleeding profusely from down below. "Oh yeah, it's not a big deal - just one of those one-in-a-million things. Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along." The ensuing conversation to convince them that I had not indeed been raped is more than enough discouragement from proceeding with this course of action.

who is ashleyskis and why is she so sympathetic to my plight? why would somebody at TGR laughingly recommend that she pee on my behind? i think i'll pass on being introduced to her. searching for her in the Members List did alert me to a bear named "Asteroidsurfer", who would seemingly also be sympathetic, although it is unknown whether he/she also has a urination fetish.

Now where can I get me one of them interplanetary apricot washers?
post #44 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Jones View Post
Your probably right. But it's been a while. Somebody needs to keep us on out toes. Besides it could be a real topic.

I had a friend at Whistler who claims sitting on cold, as in concreat or stadium benches or even a chair lift caused his 'condition'. His suggestion...hot tub.
HOT TUB!? Bwah ha ha ha ha! You are evil! You trying to kill em?

When I was a young stupid pup (well, not so long ago), I had this very problem after my daughter was born. On a visit to my mum when the girl was 2 months old, I was bemoaning my plight, and dear mummy said, "I have just the thing to help that. Use this." And she hands me a common household medicine cabinet ointment.

Well, remember, I'm a young stupid pup, so off to the bathroom I go. Let me tell you, the screeching could be heard one county over, but not over the howling of mum in the kitchen, doubled over and crying from laughing so hard, while I'm being seared by a billion jalapenos in the most sensitive of regions!

Never put napalm on your bum. Ever. Even if it goes by the name Vicks Vaporub.: : :
post #45 of 54
Your own mother did that to you? :
No wonder you have issues dear. <<hugs>>
post #46 of 54
Oh man, this is seriously in the wrong forum. I think I'll scroll here for Random Humor in the future. What a hoot!
post #47 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky Mountains View Post
i had a great day today skiing the bumps, no $hit. things seemed to be a little rocky to start, but it ended up fine. i even piled up the vert.

(end of ass related puns)

the roid is still there but it's actually diminished in size and pain, putting Mister RM into a pleasant and cool mood for the first time in a week. It didn't slow me down at all, and nobody was the wiser. i don't think that skiing helped it, but the roid didn't rage, and it didn't get any worse.

to the TGR guys suggesting that I slice it off with my straight blade...believe me, I've thought about it. Butt....I've also been told that the roid is indeed a blown out vein from my giving it 110% on the can. (i'm an overachiever) Slicing it off would undoubtedly cause a flood of blood from my most unholy of areas, and force the unusual and uncomfortable decision to have to go to the hospital with a gigantic blood stain in my jeans. Emerging from my apartment under said duress would indeed be a cause of great embarrassment in trying to explain to my neighbors how I began bleeding profusely from down below. "Oh yeah, it's not a big deal - just one of those one-in-a-million things. Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along." The ensuing conversation to convince them that I had not indeed been raped is more than enough discouragement from proceeding with this course of action.

who is ashleyskis and why is she so sympathetic to my plight? why would somebody at TGR laughingly recommend that she pee on my behind? i think i'll pass on being introduced to her. searching for her in the Members List did alert me to a bear named "Asteroidsurfer", who would seemingly also be sympathetic, although it is unknown whether he/she also has a urination fetish.

Now where can I get me one of them interplanetary apricot washers?
playin dumb eh? I am sure when someone find out who ashleyskis is you guys could be lovers. My buds on TGR are on the case right now.
post #48 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cirquerider View Post
Your own mother did that to you? :
No wonder you have issues dear. <<hugs>>
A sick sense of humor is evidently hereditary. We are all products of our environment, and change is difficult.
post #49 of 54

Roid

I have known a few people with these things and it is no lauging matter. How often do you think you use your core muscles in skiing? Skiing will aggrevate it and I doubt it will be any fun at all. Go to a doc and get the thing fixed and then enjoy your skiing.
post #50 of 54
HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steroids?
post #51 of 54
This looks like a summertime thread to me. So very gently now....bump.
post #52 of 54
Radio Shack has some neat tools for the "do it yourselfer".

That and a three way mirror from Wal-Mart and a steady hand should be all you need.
post #53 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki View Post
Radio Shack has some neat tools for the "do it yourselfer".

That and a three way mirror from Wal-Mart and a steady hand should be all you need.
This, of course, is a highly technical endeavor normally preformed by trained hands. If this is not an option you feel comfortable with, try an old tried and true southern method. Go to the dollar store, purchase a hand operated egg beater. Go home and practice with a bowl of large cubes of watermelon. Now ya have the picture! Discard implement after use. Pain should not last that long.
post #54 of 54
Atomic Balm and Mexican food. You will be singing Johhny Cash's Ring of Fire.
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