Basically, you only need to know a few things. (lets assume the bindings are screwed on the skis in the correct spot)
1. Forward pressure - Every binding company is a little different, but they are all controlled from the heel piece. Usually there is a screw (but sometimes it's a tab that you lift) at the back of the heel that moves the heel back and forth. Put the toe of your boot in the binding and move the heel piece into position until it is close to touching the heel of the boot. Snap the boot in and observe the heel piece. It should slide back a bit as the boot is clicked in. This is what is meant by "forward pressure." There will be some sort of indicator to show that you have the correct amount of pressure. (again all bindings do it a bit different, but you may be able to figure it out by looking) As an example, on Marker bindings, the heel moves back until the adjustment screw, which was sticking out of the binding housing, becomes flush with the housing. Sometimes there is an arrow pointing to a small group of hash marks... There is always some way to tell, and it is usually a range, rather than a set mark. Ask some experienced skiers, or double check at the rental shop the first time you go skiing.
2. Toe height- Look and Marker automatically adjust, so don't worry about them. For bindings that have this adjustment, it will be a screw on the top of the toe piece. Place your drivers license on your anti friction pad and click your boot in the binding. Pull back on the cuff of your boot, creating as much space possible under your AFD. Try to pull the Drivers license out. It should come out with a moderate to difficult tug. If it slides out too easy, screw the screw down a bit. If it won't come out at all, loosen it up. (after loosening, pull back on the boot cuff again)
3. DIN settings - You need to know 4 things. 1) weight 2) height 3) skiier type (I, II, III) 4) boot sole length. Check out this web site to figure out your recommended setting. http://ski.terrymorse.com/din.html
As it says on the web page, there may be a more up to date chart.... again, you could do a quick double check at the ski area rental shop your first day out.
If you are really paranoid, you may want to have your bindings torque tested... but from your original post, I get the feeling you want to learn to do it yourself. Well, bad news... you can't do it yourself without specialized equipment. (the good news is, the scale on the bindings is generally right on, and most shops skip that step anyway.)
Really, that's it. Salomons have toe wings that you need to tighten against the sides of the boot. It's actually fairly obvious if you just look at a pair.
I feel the exact same as you. I can change my own oil, brakes... I've changed tires without the use of a torque wrench
: , I can change the blade on a lawnmower and I even put a new fuel pump in my boat last summer. I'm college educated, fairly mechanical and have a good general understanding of how things work.
..And I damn sure can learn to adjust a set of bindings.
Man, I get sick of that attitude on here. That appendix comment was one of the most ridiculous analogies I've ever heard.