post #1 of 1
Thread Starter 
Do you have any funny ski instruction stories? I'm re-posting an earlier notice and would like to hear your great tales! Notice is below:

Over the years, ski instructors have incurred some pretty hilarious situations with their clients. Now is your chance to share your stories and see your name in print.

Allen R. Smith, author and instructor with the Vail/Beaver Creek Ski & Snowboard School is writing a book about humor on the slopes and is looking for material from fellow instructors. The book will be published in Fall 2004 by Classic Day Publishing.

Submissions should pertain to Alpine skiing only, be short, entertaining and no more than 750 words. You may also send shorter contributions, including humorous quotes, observations or anecdotes.

Thermals and Other Fashion Statements (anything to do with fashion/clothing)
Cool Kids and Cranky Parents (issues with kids, families, etc.)
Mid-mountain Misadventures (miscellaneous adventures on the mountain)
Wedging through Oblivion (mishaps & adventures during ski lessons)
The Motel 6 & the Sommelier (anything to do with accommodations & dining)
Getting There is 2.58 Times the Fun (Flying, driving, rental cars, travel, etc.)
Obsessions in Alpine Hardware (skis, boots, equipment, etc.)

Recommended format is in Microsoft Word or RTF file but Allen will accept other formats including verbal or handwritten accounts. Need assistance writing your story? He will be glad to help.

Please send submissions to: or
Allen R. Smith
P. O. Box 3852
Vail, CO 81658
(970) 479-9755
cell (970)390-3717

Please include your name, mailing address, telephone number, email, and the name of your home resort. Let us know if you would like to remain anonymous. Authors will receive one personally autographed copy of the book for each published story. Deadline for submission is March 1, 2004.


Clickety Clack (included in the Obsessions in Alpine Hardware chapter)
From thirty yards away, I watched Paul while he painfully collected his equipment. Bending over to gather his poles, shuffling to the ski rack, every move was excruciating. Recognizing that I had arrived to teach his class of “never-evers”, Paul approached me with a tortured look on his face. “Are we going to have to walk very much in these boots,” he asked. I explained that while most of the day we would be on skis, there were occasions when we would have to walk to lunch and take breaks. Concerned with the grimace on his face, I asked him why. “Well, I’ve really been looking forward to skiing,” he said. “All of my brothers ski, my girlfriend skis, but I just don’t know if I can keep putting up with this clickety-clack.” Looking down at his boots, he had them on the wrong feet, causing his buckles to rub against each other. Clickety clack.