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9 really irritating things

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?



2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.



3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?



4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their a$$es!



5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.


6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.



8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?



9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
post #2 of 37
Is it hot enough for ya?

It's not the heat, its the humidity?

Are you still here?
post #3 of 37
Hey, what does your watch say?"

"Nothin', ya gotta look at it!" ..........
post #4 of 37
It's a small world
B.s. It's freekin huge



They call you on your home phone and say
Are you home?

They call you at 4 in the morning
Did I wake you?
post #5 of 37
Someone hits his head.
Does it hurt?
post #6 of 37
"Boy, this rain is really coming down!"

: .... Uh! Have you ever seen it go up?
post #7 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki
"Boy, this rain is really coming down!"

: .... Uh! Have you ever seen it go up?
Actually I have and it's pretty scary.. Can you say tornado alley?

45 floors up in Atlanta just as the PA in the building Chimes out, "tornado warning! Move to a safe location" Being a Calif person I gotta take a quick look out the window before heading to the stairwell in the center of the building. Not only is rain going UP but so are soda cans, garbage, napkins, debris, etc.. 45 floors up and still going!. "I'm headed for the stairwell now thank you very much!"

DC
post #8 of 37
Got a minute? Even if I don't you're going to talk to me anyway and probably take 30.
post #9 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by dchan
Actually I have and it's pretty scary.. Can you say tornado alley?

45 floors up in Atlanta just as the PA in the building Chimes out, "tornado warning! Move to a safe location" Being a Calif person I gotta take a quick look out the window before heading to the stairwell in the center of the building. Not only is rain going UP but so are soda cans, garbage, napkins, debris, etc.. 45 floors up and still going!. "I'm headed for the stairwell now thank you very much!"

DC
I have too and it was pretty routine. 50 floors up in Chicago. No tornado - just normal weather.
post #10 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by therusty
I have too and it was pretty routine. 50 floors up in Chicago. No tornado - just normal weather.
Well for a CA raised guy it was scary! of course much of the rest of the world consider when the earth shakes a real heart stopper!

Do you guys get the happy cow's / California cheese ads? Earthquakes=foot massage!
post #11 of 37
For those of you who are scratching your heads wondering if dchan has gone off the deep end about happy cows....

view the California Cheese Association commercials here
post #12 of 37
IMHO the best one is where the cows ring the farmers doorbell ...
post #13 of 37
one of my favorites is the rooster alarm clock/snooze bar.
post #14 of 37
ski specific: i broke my leg on the last run of the day....
post #15 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by waxman
ski specific: i broke my leg on the last run of the day....
Not nearly as irritating as if you broke it on your first (and also last) run of the day.

"Is this the party to which I am speaking?":

Doesn't all of this fall under "Here's your sign" from Bill Engvall (Blue Collar Comedy tour)?
post #16 of 37
Have you noticed that when you find a lost item it is always in the last place you look?
post #17 of 37
You are here. :
post #18 of 37
when the conversation goes as follows:
Me: I got a promotion today
Friend: Did you really?

nope, im lying, just so i can look like an idiot when they find out that i didnt
moron
post #19 of 37
Sign on the back of construction vehicles

CONSTRUCTION VEHICLE
DO NOT FOLLOW

????????????????
post #20 of 37
A saying that I find annoying because I don't believe it's true: "Truth is stranger than fiction" People who say this haven't read much fiction. While truly stange stuff happens, there's more strange fiction.
post #21 of 37
Sitting at a light behind a fire truck
STAY BACK 500 FEET
post #22 of 37


"Caution Show Dogs"

:
Usually on the back of an a station wagon with a bunch of stickers with the little sentimental "I love ______ "

Let's see ..... caution .... means dangerous ... so .... : If one of those pooches gets loose, I should run over the thing to save humanity from some canine peril?
post #23 of 37


"Caution Show Horses"

:

Look, if you learn how to drive a trailer at more than 35 miles an hour down a straight road that is smooth as glass on a sunny day in a fifty mile an hour zone .... you wouldn't need that stupid sign and people would not be riding right behind you.

Also, as I do when I am towing my boat, when you see people behind you and there is a nice shoulder ..... letting them pass is just a darned friendly and nice thing to do.

post #24 of 37
One you never need

Cattle truck ahead
post #25 of 37
Does

"Caution Show Skis"


?

Hey! I got a roof box full of skis that may be jostled and bumped and heavens to Betsy, I may get a burr on an edge, does that give me the right to drive like a slow fool?

I love my skis just as much as you love those mutts or wagon hacks! Fodder for the glue factory!

:
post #26 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki

"Caution Show Dogs"

:

Usually on the back of an a station wagon with a bunch of stickers with the little sentimental "I love ______ "


Let's see ..... caution .... means dangerous ... so .... : If one of those pooches gets loose, I should run over the thing to save humanity from some canine peril?
This kind of stuff always frosts me --even the "baby on board" ones from about 10 years ago. Like - yeah - I WAS going to rear-end you just for giggles, but since since you've got your poochies along - oh well, that's different.

OR - what makes your kid or your dogs any more "special" than anybody elses'? It's okay to turn THEM into road-pizza - just not YOURS.:
post #27 of 37

I'm really dating myself here (and that's easy!)

Back in the late 70's or early 80's there were religious bumper stickers that proclaimed

I Found It...

I later recall seeing one on an old van...

I Found It, and now my finger stinks!

Crude and childish, but it brought a smile to my face.
post #28 of 37
Gross! Yech! Who thinks of these things.

I'm pretty dense most of the time. I thought those little "fish" things were some car dealer stick on or the guy liked bass.

post #29 of 37
"The Proud Parent" bumper stickers. Hate them.

People who turn on directionals...after they turn.

Blanket statements...like "You people..."
post #30 of 37
Bumper stickers, period.

License plate holders.

Pithy sayings.
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