In the US, often the lift op helps you load. IE the take the T bar, slide it between the 2 skiers and turn it for you, then you adjust it for the pair.
In some other countries they just hand you the T-bar and you are on your own.
In my Cousin's story him and his father had ridden several T's here in the states but on their very first ride in Austria on the glacier, the lift op just handed them the bar. At first the were not sure what to do, then the tried to jam the bar between them without twisting it first and banged there thighs and almost fell over. Then ended up hanging on for dear life not wanting to have to wait in line again or return embarrased that they nearly fell on a T bar.
When you take the bar, Twist it 90 degrees so the bar is vertical then slip it between you and your partner, then twist it back into position (you might want to discuss which why to turn it with your partner too so you are not both trying to turn it in opposite directions). If they do it for you that's fine but be ready for them to just hand the bar to you. (watching a few people before as you suggested) would be very helpful.