or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Guy's Rules

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
From my cousin, too good not to share:

The Guys' Rules

ÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎ
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared! to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round! IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

bong
post #2 of 9
Thanks for sharing .Now go back out and give her a big hug and tell her you couldn't imagine life without her. This was therapy. She is reality
post #3 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by GarryZ
This was therapy.
No, this was a humor thread.
post #4 of 9
Thanks Bong, it needed to be said, though I think the sports parts are less universal than the rest, though I DO understand the essence of them.
post #5 of 9
......It's like camping

BWahhHAHAHaha!
post #6 of 9
Thread Starter 
GaryZ,
Who said my cousin is a girl?? : I hug my guy cousins too though!!

bong
post #7 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by bong
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
That was very funny. but, wasn't Colulmbus looking for India?
post #8 of 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by bong
GaryZ,
Who said my cousin is a girl?? : I hug my guy cousins too though!!

bong
I was assuming you were male and married. Being this is a humor thread anything is possible. You know what they say about assuming.It is good for married men to speak their minds about their partners but only to anyone else but them.
post #9 of 9
I read these to my wife and we got a kick out of them. Thanks for sharing.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff