or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Church Lady

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom.

Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Miss Bea had flipped or something...!

When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Bea," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" (pointing to the bowl).

"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease.

And you know... I haven't had a cold all winter."
post #2 of 2
Thread Starter 
The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town.
One day he was walking down the street, when he
noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub
drinking beer. He wasn't happy to see this. He walked
through the open door of the pub and sat down next
to the woman.

"Miss Fitzgerald," he said sternly, "this is no place for a
member of my congregation. Why don't you let me
take you home?"

"Sure", she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar she
began to weave back and forth. The Reverend
realized that she'd had far too much to drink and
grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they
both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.

After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend
wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up
to her waist.

The bar tender looked over the bar and said, "Oi mate, we
won't have any of that carrying on in this pub."

The Reverend looked up at the bar tender and said,
"But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fluff."

The bar tender nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that
far in, you might as well finish."
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff