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Best Gaper Sightings - Page 7

post #181 of 283

PC or not..here goes

I was skiing at Breckenridge yesterday and headed over to Peak 7 (very wide cruisers ) and found myself alone for a moment on this sweeping trail when it happened....I saw it....there it was...right in front of my eyes....right in the middle of the trail......


Someone left their footbed there.

Later on the shuttle (may God strike me dead if this isn't true)...some guy from Texas in a conversation with the bus driver asked......


"At what elevation do deer turn into Elk?"
post #182 of 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Louie
I was skiing at Breckenridge yesterday and headed over to Peak 7 (very wide cruisers ) and found myself alone for a moment on this sweeping trail when it happened....I saw it....there it was...right in front of my eyes....right in the middle of the trail......


Someone left their footbed there.

Later on the shuttle (may God strike me dead if this isn't true)...some guy from Texas in a conversation with the bus driver asked......


"At what elevation do deer turn into Elk?"

Now now, That's not Gaper - that's just TEXAS!
( ducking....)
post #183 of 283
Once a "proud and independent nation unto it's own"!

And with a little luck ..... hey ... King George does have a historic ring to it?
post #184 of 283
Give it back
post #185 of 283
Thread Starter 
Dang, I had a huge crash the other day at Breckenridge. Anyone seen my footbed???

post #186 of 283

Good point

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncle crud
you bigheaded city folks baggin' on "rednecks" ought to watch what you say. I know quite a few redneck cowboys who can out-ski an awful lot of people. a few of 'em probably don't even own a necktie. the horror! they might not even know the "Labor Day fashion rule" so well known to urban sophisticates, and therefore might wear something that Some Snooty Old Bird would scoff at.

those rednecks. so danged inferior to those urban sophisticates. those urban sophisticates are the pinnacle of human culture! and the rednecks? send 'em off to die in Iraq, who cares? they are just fungible human fodder for the economic engine that drives the urban sophisticate lifestyle!

I learned to ski in scotchguarded jeans with gaiters covering the boot top/pant leg gap. I grew up in a blue collar house. and I don't pretend that my experience in the "urban sophisticate" cultural circles makes me any better... and might even argue that it hurt my personal development. I would dare to say that more "rednecks" than "urban sophisticates" know what human interaction is about, and spend less time "trying to work an angle" on you.

the only thing I admire about "urban sophisticates" is that they're less inclined to settle matters with a fist fight, and less inclined to "prove their manhood" with acts of mortal recklessness.
There is a lot to be said for the average humble human. And practicality
post #187 of 283

Gapers???

Last December, at Stowe, I was sitting in the Cafeteria, listening to this group of skiers talking to Stu Campbell. They were asking very esoteric questions re: boots, skis etc.. I assumed that they were a high-level clinic group with whom he was skiing.
Saw the group later, out skiing on the LATEST and BEST equipment, most technical clothing...all wearing fancy helmets, all skiing at low intermediate (at best) level!!
They were all moving like automatons, most of the time in a snowplow, struggling down the easy blues.
Turns out it was the Epic Ski weekend group,.
The ultimate gapers!!
So, before making snide remarks about other skiers, look in the mirror...perhaps, indeed, you are the Gaper!!
post #188 of 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by DC_duh
So, before making snide remarks about other skiers, look in the mirror...perhaps, indeed, you are the Gaper!!
Yep! That's me!
First time skiing with a pack. Pack not allowed on lift. I leave it there and come back for it later. They had to stop the lift; the chair comming down was about to hit me as I went for my pack.

Another time, loading the chair, skiing single, I get into the extra spot on the turnstile/gate, and go to the chair when it comes around. Turns out some kid didn't get into place soon enough and his whole family waited for the next chair. The liftee says something to me about being in a group. I start backing up to be with the next group. Chair comes around and just about takes me out as I dodge sideways, falling.

Trying to carve a circle on the local speed bump, I turn uphill, and just have enough time to cut back accross, avoid someone else shushing the hill, but still cutting in front of him.

I was even worse before I knew how to turn. First day on skis, top of the mountain, down all the hardest runs, shushing between snow-plow turns, on my army surplus wooden skis with bear-trap bindings. Later, shushing everything in sight with SG skis, flying out of the trees onto groomed runs at 65 mph without checking for traffic, POUNDING through moguls with way too stiff boots. It is possible to have the wind knocked out of you and still be on your feet.
post #189 of 283
Saw this today. Dunno if this'll post, hope it does.
after all, when you have a very wide backside and skinny legs, you should emphasise it with stretch pants!

post #190 of 283
DC -- If you had watched them before lunch, you would have seen my wife run into Stu and knock him down.
post #191 of 283

What is it about the word "Gaper," anyway?

What is it about the term "Gaper" that gets people so hot and bothered, anyway? This "Gaper Sightings" thread seems to be on its way to some sort of epic, undying status, even though its original intent was just to tell some funny stories.

Would people have reacted the same way if the thread had just been called, "Tell me about the most ridiculous things you've seen on the ski hill?" and no one had used the "G" word?

People are going to laugh at and with one another, no matter what the sport. We've all seen someone or something on the ski hill that was ridiculous. And we've probably done something like it, too. Who hasn't fallen in the lift line? Who didn't buy some heinous outfit at some point in their past? Who hasn't been so poor that they had to cobble together something strange just to get outside on the hill? Who hasn't bought equipment because it was *cool,* even though it was way too much ski? Who hasn't yard-saled right under the lift? Who hasn't said something just plain dumb? I would hazard a guess that most of us have done one or more of the above, even if we don't want to admit it.

Hell, Gaperism is relative. To much of the skiing public, I'm most likely not a Gaper. . . but to the hardcore people I revere? I'm sure they probably think I was a tool sometimes. I have certainly talked a bigger game than I should have around some of these folks, and was, I am sure, the target of some giggles later. . . but so what?

All I care about is getting out on the hill and loving it and yes, sometimes having a good laugh at the expense of the stupidity of humanity.

I'm not laughing at the guy in jeans because that's all he can afford, I am only laughing at the guy in the jeans because he's got tube socks pulled up to his knees OVER his jeans, his power straps flapping behind him, and a wet spot the size of Alaska on his butt. I'm glad he's got a big grin on his face and that he's out skiing. . . unless he points that bent-over, half-in-control-marginal-snowplow straight at me, and then I'm outta' here!

And don't assume I'm some sort of privileged snob for laughing at that guy, either. Know what I started my ski career wearing? Scotchguarded jeans, baby. On a tiny hill in the midwest. With bad hair and a bandana over my face and ancient rental skis. So my laughter has nothing to do with being *Bogner from birth.* It's part relief that I don't have that wet butt in jeans problem myself anymore, and part just plain humor at the fact that somebody would wear tube socks pulled to their knees over their jeans for anything, much less skiing!

If we can't laugh at each other and at ourselves, then we're a pretty poor society of dullards. . . and probably not much fun on the hill.
post #192 of 283
This is the time of year when I switch from being a gaper on skis to being a poser on my bike.
post #193 of 283
Am I a bike gaper? I wear mountain bike shorts when I'm on my comfort road bike (Trek 1200C with plastic fenders. I hate the wet line up and down my front and back.)
post #194 of 283
i know i am i just took my new navarra out for a spin in my blue jeans and riding shoes. hmm fenders , doh
post #195 of 283

gaper skis .. ?

And what is the best SKI for gaper watching???????????

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Volant !!!!!
post #196 of 283
saw a kid skiing, sort of, thru parking lot that was very melted, mostly dirty snow and rocks. his folks would have been pretty mad to see how his investment was treated
post #197 of 283
Thread Starter 

one more fun sighting

so this past weekend friends were in town ... one day at copper mountain I saw a darn funny thing:

copper has this pass system called "beeline" which is a ticket with an RFID chip embedded in it and you go to self-serve turnstyles which read your pass and let you go to the head of the line.

there really wasn't much of a line as it was later in the day so we were all cruising up the lanes with a fair amount of speed. while merging with a few others we saw a man come down the beeline lane with a fair amount of speed. when he got to the turnstyle, it didn't read his pass as fast as he was moving ... so he flipped over the turnstyle and landed on his back, skis akimbo, swearing a blue streak. LOL

I'd pay to see that again!
post #198 of 283
Great mental image Klkaye
post #199 of 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki
And what is the best SKI for gaper watching???????????

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Volant !!!!!
Only if you keep them shiny.
post #200 of 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki
And what is the best SKI for gaper watching???????????

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Volant !!!!!
Hey, I resemble that remark! Although I have the '07 - AC3 Volkl's not Volant's on order.
post #201 of 283

volant

Shhhhhhhhh! Don't tell Volantaddict.
post #202 of 283
I once stopped to help a fallen skier (maybe 8 years old). He was sitting on the snow in one spot and his skis in another. But the interesting thing is that the boots were still in the binding. (Release boots - the very latest thing).

I do not blame the kid. Maybe the rental shop or his parents for boots waaaaaay too big.
post #203 of 283
A number of years ago at Winter Park, Colorado, I saw a kid walking down the hill. This isn't too unusual. People get in over their head and decide they can walk down.

Well, first, let's be clear: Winter Park is not a small ski area. That express quad that picked you up so gently and seemed kind of slow while you were swinging around up in the air has taken you much farther than you realize. In addition, Winter Park is high altitude, and often cold. Walking down is rarely a good idea - or even reasonably feasible. This kid was at least half a mile from the mid-mountain restaurant, and well over a mile from the base, via the shortest possible route. He was also a long way from the lodge at the top. I always stop to check on walkers.

But there's more.

As I got closer, I could see that he was in his stocking feet!

It seems he had exchanged boots with his snowboarding buddy so he could try the snowboard. After a few body slams, he wanted his skis back, but he couldn't get his feet back into the cold boots. His buddy took off on his snowboard with the boots, and he started walking down the hill carrying his skis.

I hustled him to the nearest patrol phone and called for a snowmobile. Fortunately, there was a sled there, with blankets, which I appropriated. I made him sit there until the snowmobile arrived, and stayed with him to make sure he didn't take off.


Go play!
post #204 of 283
Alright, I'm gonna weigh in despite the fact that I'm a newbie bear and rookie skier.

A few weeks ago, I took a intermediate group lesson at Timberline and got paired up with this chick for a two hour session with an instructor. She was totally dialed in from head to toe with the latest, most righteous gear and every last detail of "snow bunny" apparel had been utterly perfected. I'm on rentals and I don't own a single piece of clothing that says "I know how to ski."

Before the instructor arrives, she's telling me about all the skiing she's done at Bachelor and I'm starting to sweat the fact that I might be the idiot holding everyone back. The instructor shows up, says "Alright, let's go skiing!!" and just takes off.

So, I head down after him about for a hundred yards, terrified that she's about to blow by me any second and when we stop and look back, she's gone off in a completely different direction. The instructor and I look at each other like, "What the hell?" and he yells up at her to come and meet back up with us, but SHE CAN'T! She's afraid to turn!

He then spends the next ten minutes rolling is eyes at me and coaching her down to us. At that point, he just tells me to head down to the lift and sign up for a free two hour session later that day with him.

I never saw her again.
post #205 of 283
Hahahaha many talk the talk but cant walk the walk.
post #206 of 283
hey you gotta start somewhere.
post #207 of 283
While waiting on a huge line at Alta 2 guys get on the lift and go to pull down the safety bar, which wasn't there. Both flipped off the chair into 3 feet of pow in front of everyone. They where slightly, Ok, hugely embarrassed. Shyt happens.
post #208 of 283
While I think people who are lesser skiers than others shouldn't be looked down upon solely for their ability or what they're wearing, sometimes the truely ridiculous needs to be laughed at.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen was at Jay Peak about a year ago. There were two people who looked to be Indian and I can only gather that they were actually from India because what they were doing seemed to indicate that the snow was a real novelty. It was a guy and his wife, both dressed in jeans and london fog type trench coats. They had one pair of rental skis and took turns puting them on and poleing around the base area. They kept stopping for photos and taking videos. Truely bizarre. Then they took the skis back to the rental shop and were gone.
post #209 of 283
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisBowers
...I can only gather that they were actually from India because what they were doing seemed to indicate that the snow was a real novelty. It was a guy and his wife, both dressed in jeans and london fog type trench coats...
heh. How 'bout:

1) An older, somewhat heavy-set Indian woman attempting to slide around the base area in a sari. She was quite similar to the woman in this photo:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:T...circa_1945.jpg

I don't recall seeing her ever make it out of the base area, but she was with friends/family, giggling and obviously having the time of her life.

2) A Mennonite (I guess?) woman doing fine, skiing the blues by herself, in a long simple dress, plain black coat, bonnet, etc. Definitely not 'Old Order Amish'. It was kinda cool, actually.

Tom / PM
post #210 of 283
I was in a sporting goods store a couple of weeks ago and a guy was in there with his daughter renting her a snowboard. He gets into a convo with the worker and says "hey I think I might get a new pair of skis. I hear the trend is to get em real short these days. Mine are 205's. Why do they like em short now? And if I get new skis do I need to get different boots or will the old ones work with the short skis?" The guy said "yea its pretty amazing the short skis they use now. Even in the downhill and super-g theyre using 150cm skis. But if you don't want to spend that much money the skis are probably fine. You should just get a new pair of boots. It will improve your skiing a lot more."

Ok now yes boots may be as if not more important than the skis you are using....but I don't think that applies when your skis are easily 20 years old. And lets hear it for the employee. I hope he was just a snowboarder or something and not a skier as he really should know more than to say that downhill ski racers use 150 cm skis...and the rest...well it boggles the mind.
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