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Ten Jew Berry Mud

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
(It helps to read this aloud)

The following telephone exchange between Room Service and a guest at a hotel in Asia was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.


Hotel: Morny, ruin sorbees.

Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

Hotel: Rye! Ruin sorbees ... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??

Guest: Uh ... yes ... I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Hotel: Ow July den?

Guest: Um… what??

Hotel: Ow July den ... pry, boy, pooch?

Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry… scrambled, please.

Hotel: Ow July dee baychem ... crease?

Guest: Sure. Crisp will be fine.

Hotel: Hokay. An San toes?

Guest: What?

Hotel: San toes. July San toes?

Guest: Mmmmm… I don't think so.

Hotel: No? Judo one toes?

Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "Judo onetoes" means.

Hotel: Toes! Toes! ... Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?

Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! Okay… you were saying "Toast." Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

Hotel: We bother?

Guest: No, just put the bother on the side.

Hotel: Wad?

Guest: I mean butter ... just put it on the side.

Hotel: Copy?

Guest: I’m sorry?

Hotel: Copy ... tea ... mill?

Guest: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.

Hotel: Wah Minnie. Ass strangle ache, creaseebaychem, toessee singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye?

Guest: Whatever you say.

Hotel: Ten jew berry mud.

Guest: You're welcome.
post #2 of 5

In the similar venue...

In case you haven't heard this one yet...


Hu's On First

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Source: James Sherman
post #3 of 5
Da Baja hand Brig, days horn a roll!
post #4 of 5
Ten Jew Berry Mud is so funny, it's not funny.

Every time I call some company's 800 number to straighten out a problem, I don't friggin understand the operator. It's frustrating. WHAT? WHAT? Sometimes I just hang up and redial, hoping to get someone understandable.
post #5 of 5
My Mother could tell stories with that fractured english. We kids would just roar with laughter when she did it. None of us could do it. For her it was just another way of talking. She could slip into and out of it with no problem.
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