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Funny Reading from the town of Alta.

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Ever wonder what it's like to be a Law enforcement officer in a ski town? Wonder no longer. Here's the police blotter from the Alta Town Marshalls. It's hysterical. Not all of the stories are funny, some are tragic and others are heroic....


A couple of my favorites....
April 18, 2004 The last day of the ski season went as well as it could. There’s always a lot of partying going on and this year was no exception. One guy in particular really stood out. This Park City resident was very intoxicated, believe it or not he was actually disrupting the celebration. The Deputy was able to obtain some information from him and went in search of his friends to drive him home. In the meantime he took to his feet again, stumbling around annoying people, got sick and puked in the goggles hanging around his neck. Gee, I sure hope the last day of the season was a memorable experience for him.
January 1, 2005 The new year started out with the closure and interlodge of the Hellgate/Superior section of Town at midnight. The remainder of the night was spent babysitting drunks and kicking unwanted guests out of some of the local establishments. 6:15 am all of Little Cottonwood Canyon was closed and interlodged for avalanche control work. The restrictions were lifted at 7:53 am. 3:51 pm. the Alta Deputy was dispatched to the Goldminers Daughter to deal with a pesky drunk that was bothering everyone. His car was parked and his keys taken away. The easiest solution to the problem was to call the 37 year old man's mother to come and retrieve him. There is more to this story but it's too pathetic to continue.
AUG 13- A man trying to negotiate the wash-boarded Summer Road with a shopping cart caught the eye of a Deputy on Duty. The man wanted to set up camp in a prohibited area and insisted a wadded up dollar bill was his “property deed to anywhere in America”. Sensing other issues, the Deputy arranged for some refreshments and transportation to a local shelter.
post #2 of 8

And this:

October 9, 2005 9:28 pm The Deputy noticed unusual lights in the Powder Ridge Subdivision. He found five young skiers and snowboarders who had brought flood lights and plugged them into an exterior receptacle on the house. They were using the unoccupied house to jump over and slide down the exterior stairwell, landing in the driveway. The argument was that they were making their own movie. Dude. Names were taken, a lecture given and the film crew and movie stars were sent on their way.
post #3 of 8
Sounds like the local law enforcers do have a sense of humor!

I liked this one:

May 19, 2005

12:48 pm a cyclist was observed riding his bike in the closed area under the Hellgate , Superior slide paths. The deputy stopped him to find out what part of the Barricaded, Closed Avalanche Danger, No Trespassing signs, he had to duck under to get where he was, that he didn’t understand. After a short conversation the deputy concluded that the violator was totally clueless.
post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 
July 16- 2:00 pm. The Marshal took a “road rage” report. The “raging” driver apparently was willing to risk his small car in a contest vs. the Alta Ski Lifts Dump truck.
post #5 of 8
August 5, 2005 3:00 pm a woman staying at a home in Alta, came into the office, desperate for help. She was looking for someone to help her set up a Sony Play Station for a meeting she was hosting. The deputy on duty's wife happened to be in the office at the time. Apparently being some what of an expert on the subject she volunteered to go to the house and get the machine up and running.
post #6 of 8
There's a gorgeous series on jibbers, in late Oct - early Nov 2005:
October 29, 2005 For the remainder of this report I will refer to the skiers and snowboarders, who make jumps, slide and do tricks on various types of objects as, jibbers. Jibbing is the terminology that these recreationalists use to define their sport.

2:30 pm. The Deputy was dispatched to Alta Ski Lift property to talk to some jibbers who had driven their vehicle off road near the west end of the transfer tow to facilitate easier access to unload a steel rail.

October 30, 2005 12:30 pm The Deputy was sent to the Goldminers Daughter Lodge on a complaint of Jibbers taking picnic tables from their deck, dragging the tables up the mountain to be used for jibbing. The Deputy convinced them it would be a good idea to return the tables to the deck.
12:47 pm. the Deputy had to talk with Jibbers who took a garbage can and a snow scoop from Albion Day Lodge. Again they were told to return the property.

November 1, 2005 3:30 pm The Deputy was called to talk to a car load of jibbers off road in the Lower Albion Area.

November 2, 2005 The Marshal took a report of vandalism from the Alta Ski Lifts Company. Two permanent steel sign posts located near the bottom of High Rustler were the attraction of the jibbers. They kept removing the posts from the sleeves that are concreted in the ground to facilitate some jibbing. The guys at the Ski Lifts figured they could solve the problem by welding the posts to the sleeves. Well, that didn't work. Some how they managed to uproot the apparatus, concrete and all.

November 3, 2005 9:00 pm Two car loads of jibbers messing around at the Wildcat Ticket Office were asked to leave the area.

November 5, 2005 2:00 pm Once again we were asked to respond to the Goldminer's Daughter Lodge to recover picnic tables taken by jibbers and hauled up the mountain.

November 6, 2005 9:00 am The Deputy discovered damage to the east side of the post office. Evidence would indicate that the jibbers used the pile of snow on the roadway next to the building to make a jump and jibe off the side of the building, scratching up the wood siding.
These guys must have the patience of saints!
post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 
The whole "Jibbers" thing is great. I printed it out and posted it on the entrance to my cube...

post #8 of 8
Police blotters do not get any better than this paper's:

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