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Ski Instructor Jokes - Page 2

post #31 of 47
Back to the jokes... PSIA gets picked on enough around here.

How does a snowboard instructor meet his class?







He runs into them!
post #32 of 47
well, since we're on to snowboarders

There are three people in a car, 2 of them are snowboarders. What do they call the other person?
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"Officer"

What do you call a snowboarder who broke up with his girllfriend?

Homeless.
post #33 of 47
Q: How do snowboard instructors introduce themselves?

A: Dude, I am soooooo sorry!
post #34 of 47
How many ski instructors does it take it to screw in a light bulb?

10, 1 to screw it in and 9 to analyze the turns.

How many Snowboard instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb.

1. 10, one to hold it up and 9 other to get high and make the rooms spin
2. 5 one does all the work and 4 other say they could do it so much better.

4 snowboarder instructor are in a car not one of them is driving, whos driving?

A cop
post #35 of 47
What do snowboard instructors get on their SAT test?





Drool.
post #36 of 47
So there was a doctor, accountant, and ski instructor in a bar with their three dogs sleeping in the corner. (Don't stop me if you've heard it.)

The doctor says, "My dog is the smartest dog in the county."
The others say, "Yeah, well prove it."
The doctor calls his dog. "Hey Scalpel, come." She gets up and comes over and the doctor takes out a bag of chicken bones and puts them on the floor. The dog looks a minute, and then calmly rearranges the bones into the skeleton of a chicken.

"Wow!" say the other patrons.

The accountant says, "That's nothing. I'll show you smart dog. Debit!. Come here, girl." Debit comes over to the bar, figures out everyone's tab, buys a round for the house, and then goes back an lies down.

"Awesome!" says the growing audience.

The ski instructor laughs and says, "You guys are so clueless. My dog, Sidecut is the smartest. Wake up, Sidecut!" Sidecut, gets up, scratches himself, ambles over to the bar, eats the chicken bones, laps up all the spilled drinks on the bar, screws the other two dogs, and takes the afternoon off.
post #37 of 47
And the winner is Weems ...

What does a snowboard instructor use for protection during sex?

A bus shelter.

Or ...

How does a snowboard instructor turn on the light after sex?

Opens the car door.
post #38 of 47
What does a snowboard instructor use for birth control?
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wait for it...............
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Their personality.
post #39 of 47
Its almost like the first page of this thread never took place.
post #40 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by tief schnee View Post
Its almost like the first page of this thread never took place.
I think there must be extra points for repeating a joke from earlier in the thread.
post #41 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by FOG View Post
I think there must be extra points for repeating a joke from earlier in the thread.
Yeah, we sent out a mass PM... You didn't get it?

post #42 of 47

Whats the difference between a Ski school snake and an ordinary snake?

 

On an ordinary snake, the arseholes at the back.

post #43 of 47

Guy getting a lesson, but can't get it together. His instructor asks him to describe 'how he feels'. The guy says "I dunno, I feel like a Wigwam or a Teepee".

The instructor says "Ive got it - you're two tents"

post #44 of 47

C.S.I.A.

Canadian's Standing In Alpine

post #45 of 47

skinerd: nice! that may be the first CSIA joke...

post #46 of 47

Making up alternative acronyms for CSIA is wayyyyy too easy ... and not suitable for a family web site, eh?

 

BTW is it spelled CSIA or CSI, A?

post #47 of 47

Three women are having lunch in New York. One shares her plan to take a ski vacation in Jackson Hole. She also shares her plan to have an affair with a cowboy while she's there.

A couple weeks after her vacation the three women are having lunch again and the subject of the vacation comes up. The woman tells everyone about the wonderful time she had skiing and how beautiful the Tetons were.

After she finishes one of her friends asks about the cowboys and if she had the affair she planned to have.

She tells them that she met a lot of cowboys but she changed her mind about sleeping with any of them because she figured out that they all carry condoms in their back pockets and that pocket had a circular bulge with a three inches diameter!

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