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Office Christmas Party

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
>Employee Christmas Party Memo
>
>December 1...To All Employees
>
>I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
>on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
>spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free
>to sing-along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
>Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.
>Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please
>remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.
>
>Merry Christmas to you and yours,
>
>Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>-
>
>December 2...To All Employees
>
>In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
>employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and often
>coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from now on
>we're calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
>applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There
>will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.
>
>Happy holidays to you and yours.
>
>Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>
>December 3...To All Employees
>
>Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
>Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
>your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that
>reads "AA Only" you won't be anonymous any more. In addition, we'll no
>longer be having a gift exchange because union members feel that $10 is
>too much money.
>
>Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>
>December 7...To All Employees
>
>I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
>away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to
>the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do
>not have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And,
>yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.
>
>Happy now?
>
>Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>
>December 9...To All Employees
>
>People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
>play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be "Satan."
>There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red suit."
>
>Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>
>December 10...To All Employees
>
>Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at
>Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit
>at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and
>you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
>feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
>them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
>
>The Bitch from Hell
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>-
>
>December 14...To All Employees
>
>I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
>from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
>her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel
>the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
>full pay.
>
>Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
>
>
post #2 of 3
Funny, and reminds me of the classic "The Physcially Challenged Person of Notre Dame."
post #3 of 3
funny...reminds me of my company.

we had a christmas party. people ate drank and danced. then if became a holiday party. then a holiday gathering. finally a holiday outing. I think last year they went on a sleigh ride.

As attendance dropped over the years, guess what we're doing this year:

Christmas Party!
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