|By popular demand, the Welcome Wagon once more.
To all of you that have just found the TGR Forums:
Welcome to one of the zaniest, craziest, coolest places on the entire net, and the ultimate haven for hard-chargin', story-writin', zappa recitin', flame-throwin', 24-7-365 thinkin' (about skiin' and boardin', anyway), gear-debatin', pow-ridin' people in the world!
Before you get started here you may want to read the following thoughts by some of the regulars around here. I have no idea what they'll say, and threads around here sometimes degrade pretty quickly, but nevertheless, reading this will quite likely help you ease your way into what may become your second worst addiction, if you're anything like us. Just remember, at least you get to keep your teeth. Oh yeah, and a few nugs of "wisdom" from yours truly, before the Referee calls a penalty or the Angry Whelk spews on you from above.
1. Very little is done in moderation here...
...including moderation itself. Believe it or not, this place - although hosted and maintained by Teton Gravity Research and the constant contributions of webmaster Chris Owens Never Sleeps - has no active moderators. ONS will throw down when absolutely needed (do not trifle with him, for he is a killer), but the rest of time, we're on our own. As a result, we've become (for the most part) a wholly self-regulating entity. If you put up some nasty shit, or worse, something truly heinious and criminal, we're going to track you down and beat the crap out of you, and you're going to remove it. This also means that we, as a group, are responsible for the quality and nature of the dialogue. So, while I can tell you to [American Pie]suck me beautiful[/Pie], you Jerk-Off Newbie Gaper ****tard (and if I don't, someone else probably will at one point or another), too much of that kind of spray gets old pretty fast. (Although it does help us get through the summers. Heh.). Speaking of chestbeating, that brings me to...
2. Its only an internet chat room.
So don't get your panties in a wad. Sometimes - well, okay, A LOT of the time, in fact, actually MOST of the time, we ride people pretty hard for the stupid crap they say, do, and so on. That's just how it is around here. Don't like it? Grow a spine or go away. No whining or wanking allowed. [IMG]http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/images/smilies/****you.gif[/IMG] Still, at the same time...
3. Its not just an internet chat room.
The thing is, this isn't your ordinary chat room. Not anymore. This chat room is filled by writers (budding and pro, Powder Magazine, and vitriolic Joe), photographers (amateur, up-and-coming, and old guard), pro freeskiers, riders, heli-guides, engineers, lawyers, programmers, doctors, students, drop-outs, high schoolers, new schoolers, old schoolers (and future schoolers?), knee-droppers, lift operators, party hoppers, tourons, morons, and bombshell blonds (although it's always nice to have a few more of those). More importantly, many (if not most) of us have skied together, partied together, and slept on each other's floors as a direct result of this place. Those who haven't probably will soon enough. For looking like an anonymous internet chat room, this place is actually a very well connected community. Don't be deceived. And we're freaking everywhere too. West Coast, East Coast, North Side, South Side, Cali, Washington, OOtah, NYC, Beantown, New Zealand, Austria, France, and more. Which is exactly why you should never, I repeat...
4. Never judge this book by its cover.
Beause you just don't know who you may be talking to. And that, combined with #1, #2, and #3, makes for truly hilarious situations. Many years ago, we had a long running joke with industry icons Shane McConkey and Scott Gaffney about their behavior behind closed doors, at least until Gaffney kicked McShlonkey out in a vicious lover's spat ; but they slagged back at us too. I'm afraid I once ribbed (very lightly, but with no lubrication...ok, ewww, that was a bit over the line) one of the most accomplished ski mountaineers in the country, and he hasn't been around since. Oh well. Guess it just wasn't his style. Maybe he prefers studded? Seriously though, I'm not saying that it's all childish, immature stuff that goes on here. There's actually a goldmine of intellectual, soul-stirring, heart-warming, stoke-provoking posts here. But you have to see them amongst the noise. And to really get it, you've got to engage. To read and write, to participate, to debate with some intelligence, to create something new. To add to the community, to build it up and not to break it down. In short, to give before you are able to receive. That's because...
5. There's a bit of history here.
I'm not going to over do it - in the end, we're all still just a bunch of snow-loving interweb weirdos (and yeah, if you're wondering, we get some pretty strange looks from people when they ask where we're from, and we tell them "the internet"), but a lot of shit has gone down here in the past years. We've made our own t-shirts, produced stickers, and have shwag for sale. We raised money to support Silverton Mountain when it was just getting going. We've raised cash for charity and collected gear for a friend of a friend of a friend whose house burned down (we even got a little thank you at the end of a ski flick for that one). We designed the No Ka Oi's, and we spawned PMGear, producers of the new BroModel ski. We've had three 75+ person annual "Summits," from Utah to British Columbia to Tahoe, and we've had countless nutty mini-summits on Hood, up in the bEast, and elsewhere. We've been written up in Powder Magazine, and these days it seems like Maginions (Powdermaggots + miniONS = Maginions) are popping up in movies, comps, and magazines everwhere you look. We've seen people quit their jobs to pursue the dream, and we've seen people get new jobs and leave it behind (although, not for long, we hope). We've seen people get married, produce mini-Minions , and sadly, we've even lost one of our own to the white room in the sky (RIP GSpot).
Point being, this community, like the magazine that spawned it, is truly "For Skiers [and Riders!], By Skiers [and Riders!]." If you wake up in the middle of July, sweating not because of the heat, but rather, because of the sheer intensity of your desire to get back to ripping knee-deep powder; if you can form complete sentences and articulate your thoughts, then we want you and your creative juices here. And if you're a hot 6' blond named Victoria, we want pictures too. Naked ones. Lot's of them.
Anyway, that's all I've got to say. Now, shut your damn cake-hole for a little while, and read before you post. Remember, post first, then smoke crack. Or is it the other way around? I can never remember.
Much luv to the Minions,
The Artist Formerly Known as Cletus