or Connect
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Mountain/Resort Related Forums › Family Skiing Discussions › how would you handle the issue of dating someone who doesn't ski?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

how would you handle the issue of dating someone who doesn't ski? - Page 2

post #31 of 114
that would be just great!!!! skiing is one thing, women are another, they don't mix for me, i want to ski with the guys, a girl would only slow me down and a girl that could keep up probably wouldn't be the girl for me.

i would hope my girl wouldn't mind me taking off every so often and would have a nice warm bowl of soup for me when i got home, if i was out of town for a few days she would want to show me how much she missed me and kept the homefront going without too much trouble or to many nasty phone calls. (that is pretty much how it is now, except for nasty phone calls, which i could do without)
post #32 of 114
Originally Posted by SnowbirdDevotee
that would be just great!!!! skiing is one thing, women are another,
Here! Here! Well said!
I was wondering when this sentiment would come out.
The only thing that I disagree with is that I love skiing with babes that rip. It kind of floats my boat!
post #33 of 114
Married 26 years to a gal with multiple knee surguries. Definitely not a skier, and never will be. She lets me have fairly free rein, but payback is I had to take dance lessons and date her once in a while. Not really a bad deal. Just wait till you see my ski ballet
post #34 of 114
Luckily I met my husband through mutual friends who ski, we eloped and got married in a ski resort, we spend as many weekends and weeks skiing together as we can.

We ski apart under sufferance, but both of us are the other's favourite ski buddy, it just isn't as much fun when he isn't there.

And I never, ever tell him not to buy new ski gear, I egg him on.
post #35 of 114
Skiing and riding a Harley (and probably some other stuff too).
To those that understand, no explanation is necessary.
To those that do not understand, no explanation is possible!

PS. Married for 16 years to a wife who tried cross country 2X before we got engaged and never will ski. My 11 year old daughter has been my ski buddy for the last five years.
post #36 of 114
Shellbee, PM me when your available! I'm first Phil.
post #37 of 114
Originally Posted by Kneale Brownson
Rusty's post says it all.
Thank you Kneale. I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your webmaster.

Gawd I felt like Roger Rabbit in the Shave and a Hair Cut scene. For the record I actually do feel it's possible to have a non-skiing SO. However, a non-skiing AND non-golfing SO would really be pushing it.

Which reminds me of a great golf joke, that I've translated into skiing.
post #38 of 114
spent two years dating a girl who very much enjoyed skiing, but at a lower level than I. Ended up spending many hours waiting at lifts for her and skiing boring terrain in the name of getting a bit of tail that night.

but now I see the light- she's either gotta be better than me or not ski at all.
post #39 of 114
Originally Posted by Takecontrol618
but now I see the light- she's either gotta be better than me or not ski at all.
That's the ticket. ...or atleast on the same level ....or VERY good in the sack!: .....but that will become old very quickly
post #40 of 114
I wont do it plain and simple, when i try to date a nonskier they think Iam crazy and this is the only thing I am selfish about. Plus the shared passion really helps with any awkward periods.
post #41 of 114
I don't think they have to be skier when you meet them. If the person is athletic and likes the outdoors you have a good chance of getting them hooked. They should progress pretty quickly too.

My wife wasn't a skier when we met. She had gone a few times in high school, but that was about it. She was an athlete though and that seemed to make a difference. She got to the point where she would ski with the guys on our trips and ski with the other wives/gf's on her day "off".

We have skiied extensively in Utah, Colorado and Europe. We got engaged in Breck, married in Vail and conceived our first child in Meribel, France.
post #42 of 114

The Shallow End of the Pool

I don't even bother with non-skiers anymore. I've taken never-ever gf's skiing, had a good (female ) instructor handle the first day or two, etc., but it's always turned into a trainwreck.

For some reason, none of these girls were as thrilled about me going away every weekend from Halloween to Mother's Day as I was!:

I'm not even the pickiest of the family though. My sister dates by a creed she coined at the bar a few years ago: "He's gotta ski better than me, but he's gotta be well-rounded. I don't want to date a robot in a speed-suit. No pipe, no park, no bumps, no trees, no dice!"
post #43 of 114

no ski partner?

well, depending on how important skiing is to you!
If someone is interested, that's great, although you won't be skiing a lot together. At least you can plan trips together and see each other during the day. And if she does other activities you enjoy, it might make the difference.

I dated a great guy, we had africa in common, but he didn't ski, dance, ride or backpack. It sucked eventually, even tho we are both really nice people. I resented the times I gave up going, and he resented me when I did go. still friends but wouldn't have been if we'd stayed together.

I guess depends on how flexible they are but common interests generate their own passion, really fun to ski/ride etc with a partner and not have to choose, or negotiate about vacations, or where the money goes. Over the years i've learned to waterski, drive a boat, operate a power drill, shoot and clean a pistol - fun to do something with a partner who is patient and willing to share. I've taught people to dance and ride, would be very very hard to have a partner who didn't do any of those activities.

slider...got any clones? horses are my other passion and never, ever met anyone remotely interested in footing their bills..: .
post #44 of 114
I was sad to read the "girls can't keep up post". Obviously he doesn't get out much. Girls who rip are a treat. They also happen to be some of the nicest people you could ever meet. Would they stay home and cook while you ski? Maybe, but only if you reciprocated.
post #45 of 114
I married a non skier who decided to take lessons and become a beginner skier. At first, the nonskier thing was most harmonius. Now I'm expected to invite, and acompany more often. She has a very hard time with "There are no friends. or spouses on powder days" thing, or the "I've gotta go shake the legs out a little" thing.:
post #46 of 114
my fiance was starting out when we started dating. She's steadily improving. It's fine. I don't mind taking it easy with her. I'll let her ski on up ahead for a bit and then rip the groomers. Sometimes I go off and ski harder stuff when I feel the urge. It works out well if you're patient and know that they'll be other times to rip steeper and deeper stuff. I just enjoy being out there with her.

One word of caution...NEVER try to teach your significant other how to ski. Now THAT'S a disaster.
post #47 of 114
Originally Posted by mnemosyne's lobotomy

One word of caution...NEVER try to teach your significant other how to ski. Now THAT'S a disaster.
Agree 1000% percent.
post #48 of 114
Originally Posted by sibhusky
Agree 1000% percent.
post #49 of 114
I think the more relevant question is whether you should ever try to teach your significant other to ski.

And my answer to this question is no, unless you like hanging out with that train...
post #50 of 114
One word of caution...NEVER try to teach your significant other how to ski. Now THAT'S a disaster.
Actually, I have to say I always thought it was a horrible idea. My father failed miserably at it when he and my mother were dating. I skied with a few gf's over the years (who already knew how to ski) and that was miserable. THEN, the worst possible thing that can happen to a ski racer happened to me. I started dating a girl who had skied twice (YES ONLY TWICE) in her entire life - FOUR+ years before we even met. The first year of our relationship was great - i skied, she stayed home, saw each other during the week - no problems.

She then decided that she wanted to actually SEE me during the winter; so if you can't beat them, join them. So I was joined on the snow. She had two very bad experiences with instructors the other times she had skeid, so she wouldn't take a formal lesson... which was fine since being a racer I sort of know how to ski... Fortunately she picked it up before my patience ran out (usually begins the demise of a relationship). We had made a deal that if she didn't pick it up fast that lessons would be in store for her, and that if she didn't listen I wouldn't teach (also usually begins the demise of a skiing relationship).

So after teaching her to ski and giving her what essentially became private lessons every time she went skiing with me (about 15 out of the 20 times she went out last year), she became a damned god skier after one season. Skiing with an entire college race team several times a week helps too I guess... But, she is up to a level 6 or 7ish skier now. She started bumps by the end of the season (last year) and is working on "race-type" carves for this year.

I had bought her skis for her b-day so now she makes me tune them for her now (once a week plus wax - not too much at first though because she hated to go fast) - and she is even picky about it too (the nerve). Encouragement worked for her so far, and has been the best route. I suspect that within a season or two she will be able to follow me anywhere I go on almost any mountain (within reason) and be a solid level 8.

So, moral of the story - it can be done - if you get the right girl - and have the initial bravery and patience to try it. Plus being a racer with a lot of tricks up my sleeve to fix someone's skiing helps too.


post #51 of 114

Nooooo Way!

Originally Posted by stryder
This is somewhat hypothetical for me, but it could happen--

Is that a trainwreck in the making, or is it workable?

OMG! I wouldn't even consider it!

Stop! I'm going to have nightmares if I even think about it!

post #52 of 114
Originally Posted by janesdad
If she DID ski, she would most likely bump into my wife - queue the train with me tied to the tracks.
U Bad!

post #53 of 114

two data points

When I worked my only ski season I was determined to push my skiing as far as I could. I got together with a girl who didn't ski. Several of the guys that I skied with thought I'd hit the jack pot "you've got a girl and you don't even have to ski with her". They had a point, if I'd had to spend half my season skiing easy terrain I would not have progressed as much. On the otherhand this girl was never THAT important to me.

When I first met my wife (a different girl!) she knew how important skiing was to me and she had never skied. She told me afterwards that she was very nervous the first time I took her skiiing "if I don't like this or am no good at it then we'll spend a chunk of time apart". It turns out that she loves skiing (although not to the same stupid level that I do!) and is a bit of a natural. We don't ski together all the time (she's not very confident off-piste yet, a couple of times I've gone away with the boys) but most of the time we do.

My feeling is that it can work with a non-skiing partner but she does need to understand and accept that you WILL go skiing without her.

post #54 of 114
My, moderate, passion for skiing worn-out a former girlfriend and I'm sure had a share in ending my marriage.
Both were skiers, but not enamoured with the sport.
This september I was dating a "girl" who not only was not skiing but hated mountains.
Well, when she outlined that, I replied that skiing was my private turf and, I, in my head, decided that I was not going to "force" it on her...not even to try to convince her to ski in a subtle way. It had to be entirely her decision, in some time, if the relationship held.
After all, I'm pretty omnivorous, and can go to theatre, listen to poetry,
in short, there was plenty of thing that were interesting her that could have interested me too.
Was it a wise decision?
As it happens, there was not the need to worry about it. The dating did not last long. A pity, I miss her, but that's life.
I remember one of the first conversations:"...are you free today?"
My, half jokingly, answer :" I'm completely free until the snow falls, then..."
post #55 of 114
As others already said, I guess it depends on how much you're passionate about skiing. If you live for it, always on the snow or talking about being on the snow, that's a problem... If you're ready for a few concessions (ie, to save some WE for her) it should work allright. It's actualy a good thing for lasting couples to have different interests in life. You can't share everything (a problem being that you will want it at the beginning of your relationship), but you need to share some things.
For me, actualy, it's my wife who put me back on skis after a few years hiatus (due to broken bones...). When she learned I used to ski a lot then stopped, she put me in the first train to the alps. Turns out she even had a flat in Val d'Isère...
He took me longer to make her to accept my motorcycling habits, though...
post #56 of 114
The no ski thing can work but it strongly depends on the people involved. I have skied 46 years. My wife does not ski and has no interest in skiing. We have been happily married for 28 years.

My wife does not care for snow or ski season with the boots and stuff laying around but she understands that its important to me. She likes beaches, needle point, reading and watching TV, I respect that and don't interfer.

We never could decide where to go on vacations until 1986 when my wife flew to the beach and I flew to the ski resorts. We have been happy with vacations ever since.

My wife enjoys not having to worry about me and just quietly sitting on the beach in a lounger reading under and umberella with the soft wind in her face and I enjoy not worrying about her when I am up on the slopes.

My daughter figured out that while we were generally taking vacations at different times she could possilbly try to take advantage of tagging along on both. She usually ended up skiing but not at the beach.

My wife and I have very similar personallities but vastly different upbringings and interests. There is also pretty much a total lack of jealousy or mistrust in our marriage.
post #57 of 114
The movie Fever Pitch comes to mind.

Different focus subject, but same issues.

Good "chick flick" and highlights the issue. Netflix it.
post #58 of 114
Originally Posted by SnowbirdDevotee
that would be just great!!!! skiing is one thing, women are another, they don't mix for me, i want to ski with the guys, a girl would only slow me down and a girl that could keep up probably wouldn't be the girl for me.
How funny! That says a lot about your character!

This is how it goes in my Wonderful marriage.
He has things he does without me (dirtbiking, and snowmobiling)
I have things I do without him (volleyball, mt. biking, 2006 I will have a road bike too)
But we Water ski and snow ski together.

It all started in 1984 when he taught me to ski (not so successfully). I volunteered as a driver for our local church school and got free lessons.
Because I couldn't keep up with him when I started, I didn't realize how much I'd improved.
Then one night I was done with the school group just when he and his buddies were starting to ski so I joined them.
One of the guys said "Holy Sh#@, I thought you said your wife was slow. She was right on my A$$"

I've been one of the guys every since

Here we are2005, we each own several sets of skis (I never get in between a man and gear buying)

I still chaperone the school ski trips and ski with a few girlfriends and their kids, but Skiing with "the boys" is my passion.

Don't sell a g/f short because she doesn't know how to ski, and don't be a big baby when she starts kicking your butt!
post #59 of 114
As you can see, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I know for me, it never did. The best example of past relationships: I am a ski writer and when I was in my early 30s, I had a non-skiing boyfriend who said to me as I was getting ready to leave for a weekend of skiing, "It's skiing, or me." Well, DUH! I went skiing. : Yah, I'm going to not only give up my passion, but my life's work for him. Obviously, my love of skiing was never a secret, but he always said it wouldn't bother him. After the second ski season was underway, it clearly did. : By the way, he is a chef, so I always had dinner waiting for me, and I guess I'm lucky he didn't put anything "funny" in it.

I met my husband SKIING seven years ago at my home mountain. He is a volunteer patroller. Skiing is central to our lives (as are other outdoor sports). We ski on Christmas Day (right after dropping off his kids at their Mom's house--interestingly this is the first year we have no kids living with us and it will make for a shorter trip to the mountain ). We ski every weekend. We take lots of ski trips every year. We spend too much money on gear and apparel and gadgets because we egg each other on about how necessary those items are to be "happy on the mountain or in the water." Since meeting each other, we've expanded our love of skiing to include extensive off-piste skiing, snowcat skiing and backcountry touring. My ski-loving family first freaks out, then is totally impressed, with the levels to which I've taken my skiing. So, needless to say, I'm happy I waited to meet him.

On the other hand, my older brother dated a woman who didn't ski, wasn't even particularly athletic, but after a few lessons, she fell in love with the sport, quickly caught up in ability and they've been married now for 20 years. Both kids ski too. But note: If she hadn't found a passion for it, they probably wouldn't have gotten married. I don't think she would have been understanding at all about him being gone skiing all the time, and spending so much money on the sport.

It really depends on what kind of person YOU are too. As some folks here show, if you can stand separate vacations and passions, and be understanding about each other's preferences, then it can work. But personally, I can't imagine being married to someone who doesn't share my love of skiing and the outdoors. It wouldn't work for ME. It's too much of who I am. And my husband, who was once married to a woman who didn't ski and didn't like the outdoors, says being married to someone who shares his passions puts the relationship on a whole new, and very satisfying, level.

post #60 of 114
If you try too hard you could end up as the sort of couple that wear matching sweaters.[/quote]

Hey! I resemble that remark.

We even have the same skis, boots and poles.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Family Skiing Discussions
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Mountain/Resort Related Forums › Family Skiing Discussions › how would you handle the issue of dating someone who doesn't ski?