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Clever words

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
Got this from a friend who got it from a fried in ZA who got it from...
  • Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  • Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
  • Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  • When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  • A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
  • What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  • She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off!
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  • When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia : the LAN down under.
  • He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  • Every calendar's days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  • Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
post #2 of 3
post #3 of 3
Best ones in a long time.... thank you I kneaded that.
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