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Provide a Caption! Before and After

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Provide a caption or a paragraph for these "Before and After" photos. (Relaxing fun )

How did the man in the LEFT photo transform into the man in RIGHT photo?
What happened to him?
What is his story?
(the more ludicrous the better )

post #2 of 17
His boss caught on that he spent too much time on epicski forums when he should have been working.
post #3 of 17
Meet the world's latest superhero. While he appears to be just another anonymous businessman, when duty calls, Sparetireman comes to the rescue.
post #4 of 17
I used to be the man on the left, but was made redundant last week. Now I'm getting ideas for new jobs...
post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wear The Fox Hat
I used to be the man on the left
Riiiiiiiight... Last time you had that much hair was when?!

Besides, I just don't see you as the briefcase kinda guy...
post #6 of 17
Yeah, this one's easy. . . Guy on the left had a great job in Boston as a high powered businessman. Then he read this thread:

http://forums.epicski.com/showthread.php?t=30254

Now, in the picture on the right, he has moved out west to "follow his passion" This is the only available job in Summit County, CO.

- Matt
post #7 of 17
Enron.
post #8 of 17
I think we know what happened to Gonzo now!
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by mattchuck2
Yeah, this one's easy. . . Guy on the left had a great job in Boston as a high powered businessman. Then he read this thread:

http://forums.epicski.com/showthread.php?t=30254


- Matt
If he read THAT thread he'd be up chuckin Matt!:
post #10 of 17
Brian Cashman at start of 2005 baseball season....Cashman at end of 2005 baseball season.
post #11 of 17
George Bush BUT the after picture is now the before picture! It cracks me up!!!!!!
post #12 of 17
Bob was wildly happy with his Wall Street lifestyle. He had it all - the Armani suits, the 6 digit salary, a woman on each arm. He even laughed all the way to the bank when the Martha scandal broke.

But still he felt something was missing.

Then one day while power-lunching with clients at an upscale Italian Bistro, Bob became mesmerized by the pattern in his pasta. He was fascinated with the perfection of curvilinear undulations, and as he sat contemplating the perfection, a single strand of pasta slipped off the side of the plate and landed on his wrist.

Of COURSE! That was IT! Bob became filled with wonder as the perfection of pasta filled his empty soul. The Flying Spaghetti Monster had touched him with His noodly appendage, and his life would never be the same....

Bob became filled with the love of the FSM and buried himself in pasta and sauce studies, devouring every word and recipe in his quest to becoming One with the FSM.

He eventually lost his job with the firm when on spiritual grounds, he refused to take his clients anywhere but the Italian Bistro, and insisted upon handing out FSM educational tracts on the street corner outside his office. Nevertheess, Bob KNEW that the Flying Spaghetti Monster was truly WITH him and he did not fear.

Eventually Bob found a job waiting tables at the Italian Bistro, which is how he met and converted his future wife Jolene to Spaghetti Monsterism. Together they launched their own Spaghetti Monster Ministry and left the Bistro to pursue their higher calling.

They started out opening a storefront soupkitchen for the underpriviledged which introduced the un-pasta'd masses to the joys of free spaghetti dinners. Bob and Jolene converted so many that they opened two more storefronts to serve the FSM and His new followers.

Eventually Bob and Jolene had a baby. Bob was so fascinated with the similarities of the curling umbilical cord to the undulating noodly appendage of the FSM that he KNEW that He and Jolene had been truly blessed, and that they were meant to have many more children by which to glorify the FSM.

When they weren't boinking like rabbits to please the FSM, Bob and Jolene found the time to establish an entire CHAIN of pastafarian temples. The Temple of Primo Pasta to the Glory of the Everlasting and Flying Spaghetti Monster started its own TV show, of which Bob and Jolene were the star hosts.

But alas, material success started dragging Bob back to some of his un-pasta'd ways. It started insidiously. First he started drinking wine that didn't come in a woven straw bottle. Then he tried some veal with his spaghetti. Before he knew it, Bob had started sneaking around on Jolene with the owner of a chain of Texas Steakhouses.

One night Bob came home reeking of flame-grilling, when he thought Jolene and the 7 kids were asleep. But Jolene was waiting up for him and saw the red stains on his collar. She knew it wasn't her brand of marinara, and when she got closer she knew the awful truth - it was...... BarBQ Sauce!

When the scandal broke, the ministry fell apart, and Bob was indicted for a money-laundering scheme involving Canadian cattle ranches and organic semolina growers. Jolene left him and took the kids with her. The children... Ragu, Fettuccini, Pesto, Parmesan, Al dente, Primavera, and Linguini were all sent to private boarding schools in Italy to further their studies and to remove them from the scandal.

Bob served ten years in the USDA Federal Food Service Program before being released on parole. Unfortunately, because of his record and notoriety, Bob couldn't even buy a job on the outside. No self-respecting eatery would hire him.

Finally, one afternoon as Bob sat morosely picking at a plate of canned Ravioli and contemplating his fate, he glanced up and saw a billboard for Alfred's Tire Service. But the way the picture of the Tire was arranged in the ad, it made the name look like "Alfredo".

ALFREDO! It's a sign from the FSM!! Bob knew he hadn't been forgotten. He raced to the tire service to apply for a job.

Bob worked long and hard for Alfred, but he knew that it was meant to be. The FSM had found him a job and showed him His perfection everyday in the undulating curvatures of tire treads - just like His Noodly Appendage.
post #13 of 17
Good God, FRAU........you're scarin' me!:
post #14 of 17
Who said some folks lack passion.
Quit the medicine doc, you have a definite future in creative writing.
post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stache
Who said some folks lack passion.
Quit the medicine doc, you have a definite future in creative writing.
I can't claim the FSM as my own - I only borrowed him from here http://www.venganza.org/

The rest unfortunately I have to admit comes from my own deranged psyche.
post #16 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FRAU
Bob was wildly happy with his Wall Street lifestyle. He had it all - the Armani suits, the 6 digit salary, a woman on each arm. He even laughed all the way to the bank when the Martha scandal broke.

But still he felt something was missing.

Then one day while power-lunching with clients at an upscale Italian Bistro, Bob became mesmerized by the pattern in his pasta. He was fascinated with the perfection of curvilinear undulations, and as he sat contemplating the perfection, a single strand of pasta slipped off the side of the plate and landed on his wrist.

Of COURSE! That was IT! Bob became filled with wonder as the perfection of pasta filled his empty soul. The Flying Spaghetti Monster had touched him with His noodly appendage, and his life would never be the same....

Bob became filled with the love of the FSM and buried himself in pasta and sauce studies, devouring every word and recipe in his quest to becoming One with the FSM.

He eventually lost his job with the firm when on spiritual grounds, he refused to take his clients anywhere but the Italian Bistro, and insisted upon handing out FSM educational tracts on the street corner outside his office. Nevertheess, Bob KNEW that the Flying Spaghetti Monster was truly WITH him and he did not fear.

Eventually Bob found a job waiting tables at the Italian Bistro, which is how he met and converted his future wife Jolene to Spaghetti Monsterism. Together they launched their own Spaghetti Monster Ministry and left the Bistro to pursue their higher calling.

They started out opening a storefront soupkitchen for the underpriviledged which introduced the un-pasta'd masses to the joys of free spaghetti dinners. Bob and Jolene converted so many that they opened two more storefronts to serve the FSM and His new followers.

Eventually Bob and Jolene had a baby. Bob was so fascinated with the similarities of the curling umbilical cord to the undulating noodly appendage of the FSM that he KNEW that He and Jolene had been truly blessed, and that they were meant to have many more children by which to glorify the FSM.

When they weren't boinking like rabbits to please the FSM, Bob and Jolene found the time to establish an entire CHAIN of pastafarian temples. The Temple of Primo Pasta to the Glory of the Everlasting and Flying Spaghetti Monster started its own TV show, of which Bob and Jolene were the star hosts.

But alas, material success started dragging Bob back to some of his un-pasta'd ways. It started insidiously. First he started drinking wine that didn't come in a woven straw bottle. Then he tried some veal with his spaghetti. Before he knew it, Bob had started sneaking around on Jolene with the owner of a chain of Texas Steakhouses.

One night Bob came home reeking of flame-grilling, when he thought Jolene and the 7 kids were asleep. But Jolene was waiting up for him and saw the red stains on his collar. She knew it wasn't her brand of marinara, and when she got closer she knew the awful truth - it was...... BarBQ Sauce!

When the scandal broke, the ministry fell apart, and Bob was indicted for a money-laundering scheme involving Canadian cattle ranches and organic semolina growers. Jolene left him and took the kids with her. The children... Ragu, Fettuccini, Pesto, Parmesan, Al dente, Primavera, and Linguini were all sent to private boarding schools in Italy to further their studies and to remove them from the scandal.

Bob served ten years in the USDA Federal Food Service Program before being released on parole. Unfortunately, because of his record and notoriety, Bob couldn't even buy a job on the outside. No self-respecting eatery would hire him.

Finally, one afternoon as Bob sat morosely picking at a plate of canned Ravioli and contemplating his fate, he glanced up and saw a billboard for Alfred's Tire Service. But the way the picture of the Tire was arranged in the ad, it made the name look like "Alfredo".

ALFREDO! It's a sign from the FSM!! Bob knew he hadn't been forgotten. He raced to the tire service to apply for a job.

Bob worked long and hard for Alfred, but he knew that it was meant to be. The FSM had found him a job and showed him His perfection everyday in the undulating curvatures of tire treads - just like His Noodly Appendage.
WOW! : Brilliant...i love this: "Bob served ten years in the USDA Federal Food Service Program"
post #17 of 17
Thread Starter 



I'll toss in one of my own:

BEFORE: "I'm stopping at the Jones Brothers garage to pick up the Porsche. I used to know them in high school. What a bunch of losers; all four of them!

They were learning how to fix cars while I was named "Most Likely to Succeed". Now it's twenty years later and they own this crummy garage, and I am a $200,000 a year investment banker. My SOCKS cost more than they make in a day! But they do know engines!

When I dropped off the car they recognized me. They started joking. They said they always resented me back in high school. They told me they would find a way to bring me down off my high horse and turn me from an executive into a grease monkey!

ME! A GREASE MONKEY! In a $2,000 suit, $100 tie, cufflinks and Italian shoes! I asked them how they planned to do it? They said they would steal my wallet and my identity and take all of my savings and sell all my stocks; then they would ruin my credit; then they would keep my car and office keys and my briefcase, take off my suit and tie, and even take the Italian shoes right off my feet; then they would stuff me with junk food, teach me to talk like a Bubba and put me to work as their assistant.

They really put a lot of thought into this crazy joke!

I joked with then too, and told them I would never do menial work. What a bunch of jokers they are! What can you expect? Gotta go - I'm at the garage...."


AFTER: six months later: "They're using my Ferragamo wingtips for a spittoon. Some people wait a long time for revenge..."
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