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Passion for life, Missing in most people! - Page 6

post #151 of 167
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the post!!
post #152 of 167
It’s funny. I stumbled upon this message board after googleling something about skiing while daydreaming at work. I saw Ski=Free’s posting and it touched a nerve. I’ve been complaining to my wife for close to a year that I have lost passion for things I used to do (ski, mtn bike, kayak). I work around 60 hours a week, commute another 8, and then spend my weekends being a dad. I find it very difficult to find the time or energy to squeeze in much more (vacations? ha.) While I understand this is my choice, I sometimes can’t help but to feel trapped. Kudos to you Ski=Free for making it happen.



While the messages on this board have turned confrontational, it’s obvious that everyone has at least one thing in common, a passion to be outdoors. I have always believed that to be truly happy, you can’t be irritated by other people’s decisions. It’s a big world out there, and there will always be people who are motivated or inspired by different things. Just live your life and let people live theirs.



As I seriously consider choosing another lifestyle I would love to draw upon the resources of this board to learn from the people who have made the switch.
post #153 of 167
Thread Starter 
Thanks man, much appreciated.

The only thing I would disagree with you is when you wrote" sometimes live your life and let others live theirs".
Sometimes you need to give people your opinions, or advice. Sometimes people don't realize that they are headed down a road that they shouldn't.But in the end it is their lives and you can't make changes for them.

I wish you the best in making your life exactly what you want it to be.
post #154 of 167
Ski=Free,

I'm not trying to rip on you at all, just wanted to make that clear. I think it's great that you are thinking of just living up life, I want to do the same thing.

The one thing that you said about guys just doing things that their wives or signif. other wanted, eventhough they didn't want to, struck me as wrong. I do these things sometimes for my girlfriend, because I know it'll make her happy. That is the reason people are in relationships, they want to make eachother happy and experience things together.

Sometimes you have to give, to get. Just remember that.


Dave
post #155 of 167
Yea, ditto as Course. I think the orignal point is important, but we shouldn't allow our appreciation for life to turn into arrogance toward others. And re: relationships there has to be give and take. But if your life is making you miserable and you recognize that -- unfortunatly many/most people never do -- then it is time to sit down and think through some changes. Obviously if you have responsibilites, especially children I suppose it is not as easy to just pick up and change everything. But I think it is always possible to make changes in one's life no matter where you are.
post #156 of 167
Thread Starter 
I agree with the last 2 posts. I just want to add though, sometimes you know your buddies, brothers or others are in the wrong relationship, job or whatever situation. Sometime you go along with your current life in the mean while your saying man this sucks or this is killing me to your friends and family. That's what I'm talking about. If your truly happy sitting in a corner looking at the wall, I'm glad for ya, more power to ya. It's when people say I'm unhappy and then don't even try to change that's what I'm talking about here.
post #157 of 167

Deferred Gratification

An indicator of civilization is the ability to defer gratification (forever ?) both at an individual and group level. Even The Bible chimes in on this topic (and most other topics come to that : )

"Whoever loves pleasure will suffer want; whoever loves wine and oil will not be rich" (Proverbs 21:17, New Revised Standard Version). Proverbs 21:5 adds, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to want."

It strikes me that folks learn the concept as they mature, but I agree that some do forget that there should be a balance in life of recreation / hobbies / family / down-time / spirituality / ... vs work. What that balance is is an individual choice and no one should judge family and friends or blame girlfriends / spouses for poor perceived decisions. I think it's arrogant to think anyone is qualified to judge others (although I most certainly have made some good decisions - FOR ME).
post #158 of 167
Thread Starter 
Not a big fan of the Bible myself.
post #159 of 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by ski=free
Not a big fan of the Bible myself.
Nor me but that does not detract from the fact that it was written over the course of centuraries and does contain vast amounts of wisdom. Nor does fandom, or otherwise, of The Bible detract from the concept of deferred gratification. I simply referenced The Bible for some pithy quotes about the topic. I could just as easily referenced other scholarly tomes and studies on deferred gratification. Any comments on deferred gratification or should we go off topic and discuss the validity of The Bible in today's world ?
post #160 of 167
Thread Starter 
"Deferred gratification" just for it's sake is pointless. But if by deferring you have more joy later on, well then that's a choice a person has to make. It Doesn't make it right or wrong. Deferring Gratification doesn't guarantee gratification later. Just like getting gratification now doesn't guarentee less later, and so on.
post #161 of 167
Thread Starter 
To say deferred gratification is the "good" or the "right" thing to do one must only be talking about the choice for one's self, else he will be judging the actions of others, and we have learned on this board, that's a no no.
post #162 of 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by ski=free
"Deferred gratification" just for it's sake is pointless. But if by deferring you have more joy later on, well then that's a choice a person has to make. It Doesn't make it right or wrong. Deferring Gratification doesn't guarantee gratification later. Just like getting gratification now doesn't guarentee less later, and so on.
Actually not. In this financial example http://www.wcg.org/lit/booklets/money/patience.htm (where I took The Bible quotes) the author demonstrate the inherent long term, realizable, benefits of deferred gratification. The author also discusses some of the other soft benefits that then compound for even greater benefits. It strikes me that this approach can fairly easily be applied to many other areas. I would note that youth installs some benefits in the recreation area that you're concerned with here but conversely recreation may be more important in advancing years to maintain health. Hence deferring recreational opportunities (assuming one has a finite number of ski runs or whatever) may be beneficial.

ps. Very good. Staying on topic and arguing the points.
post #163 of 167
Thread Starter 
How do you know you have deferred long enough?

What if you have deferred the gratification of buying a home 5 years ago? Would have missed out on much appreciation of price.

It is impossible to tell somone that deferred gratification is the correct thing to do.
What if Jimi Hendrix's dad deferred the gratification of buying his son a guitar?
Hendrix might not have created the music that inspired millions, but on the other hand he may not have died of an overdose. Now I know I took this one to the moon but it is philisophically incorrect to tell another to defer gratification.
post #164 of 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by ski=free
To say deferred gratification is the "good" or the "right" thing to do one must only be talking about the choice for one's self, else he will be judging the actions of others, and we have learned on this board, that's a no no.
Tsk, Tsk. Off-topic again.

I simply am trying to point out the benefits that some/many people accrue due to the implementation of deferred gratification in their lives. I suspect your original post was a reaction to the impact that has on acquaintences participating in your hobbies with you.
post #165 of 167
Thread Starter 
Hey truckee, have a nice weekend. Good talking with ya!
post #166 of 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckeeLocal
Actually not. In this financial example http://www.wcg.org/lit/booklets/money/patience.htm (where I took The Bible quotes) the author demonstrate the inherent long term, realizable, benefits of deferred gratification.
About the only places *I* - speaking for *myself* - can think this principal applies is finances and desert. We've established that money doesn't buy hapiness. Ipso, deferred gratification is irrelevant to this discussion.
post #167 of 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodro
About the only places *I* - speaking for *myself* - can think this principal applies is finances and desert. We've established that money doesn't buy hapiness. Ipso, deferred gratification is irrelevant to this discussion.
How about that irreplaceable resource of time ? Invest it early in an income generating pursuit to have much more of it later for other, probably more important, activities ? This, I accept, assumes the more time spent working equates to more, perhaps deferred, income. But generally this is a fairly reliable assumption, at least in the U.S.

Or Education ? Invest in an education. There is a good correlation of education level and income levels.

Sure both these examples end-up as a financial decision. But money can be exchanged for goods and services at a later date - spent wisely it can buy happiness The whole money system is based on some level deferred gratification. Cash in hand to be used later. Credit card in hand to be used before the cash is available is the anti-deferred gratification 'solution' for immediate gratification.
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