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Dr. Frau! I need a note? ..

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
When I called into work sick today I told the boss man that I couldn't make it cause I had a case of "anal glaucoma".

He asked me what the was and I told him I just couldn't see my ass comng in today.
post #2 of 9
I once reported off well.
To which the clerk asked, "Huh? "
In response, "I'm feeling great so I want to call off well."
"What am I supposed to write on the attendance report?", he asked.
I said,"Write down that I'm having eye problems."
"Eye problems?"
"Yeah, I can't see coming to work today."
post #3 of 9
Having anal glaucoma is certainly much less serious than having a case of Cranio-Rectal Impaction
post #4 of 9
uh, Frau? This you got out of a medical text . . . no?
post #5 of 9
Thread Starter 

the malady

As illustrated by Dr. Frau, the malady is localized/regionalized; a phenomena observed in greater frequency in among individuals; it affects males and females and there is no know connection to ethnicity or racial origins. The dominant "cluster" had been identified as the area south of Maryland and north of Virginia.

There are some suspected "vectors". The CDC for instance has linked most flu outbrakes to migratory waterfowl along the asian costal flyway where they come into contact with domestic fowl who pass the virus to swine, who in turn pass the variant to humans.

The suspect vectors in the case of the (impactive phenomena), that seems to run in four year cycles, are Elephants and Donkeys.
post #6 of 9
when teaching...we used to try to think of creative ways to explain that in the report cards...

we generally said "his vision was obstructed by his sphincter"
post #7 of 9
I've used up all my sick time so I have to call in dead.

Actually, since I've had my anal optic neve severed, my s#!^^y outlook on life has improved.
post #8 of 9
To go skiing- The morning after a blizzard my sister and I once called in saying we thought we were going to have the runs...we wanted to see how many we could make that day.
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 

teachskiljp ...

You had the runs and it wasn't a lie. I'd never be able to pull that off with a straight face.

One weekend when I was working in a government lab, I got a call from a kid who worked for us and lived right across the street in an apartment building. They had an (illegal) dead bolt on the door and his mom locked him in. It was pretty funny, we could see him and he could see us and at noon he had us send him up some lunch on a string.
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