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Thread Starter 
From the Deep South comes some common sense manners........

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
3. It's tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. When you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to drive a
U-Haul to the funeral.

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so
as not to "bruise" the wine.
2. If drinking directly from a jug, hold firmly with both hands.

1. The centerpiece for your table probably should not be prepared by a
2. No matter how good his manners are, make your dog eat on the floor.

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private,
using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Use of toiletries can only delay bathing a few days.
4. Auto grease under the fingernails is a no-no, as it will detract from
your jewelry, ladies.

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and always picked up after
the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they
can't hear you.

1. Livestock is often a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. For the Best Man, change your
bowling shirt.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun's loaded
and the deer's in sight.
2. When approaching a 4-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it's impolite to
ask her to bring back beer, too.

Have a Great Fourth Of July!