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Corporate Lessons

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the*shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. The*wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens*the door, there stands Bob,
the next door neighbor. Before she says a**word, Bob says, "I'll give
you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a*moment, the woman
drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After*a few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back*up in the
towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom,*her
husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she
replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800
he*owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you*share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your*shareholders in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a*Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg.**The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he*stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129?"**The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide*up her leg again. The nun
once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129?"**The priest apologized;
"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at**the convent, the nun went on her way.**On his arrival at
the church, the**priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth
and seek, further up,*you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you*are not well informed in your job, you might
miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an*administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique**oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out. The Genie says, "I'll give each**of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I**want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the**world." Poof! She's
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in**Hawaii,
relaxing on*the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply*of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up,"**the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always*let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a**tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
him, "Can I also sit like you and**do nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the*rabbit sat on the ground below the
crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit*and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be*sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a**bull. "I would love to be able to Get to
the top of that tree," sighed**the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my**droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey*pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach*the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung,*he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night there, he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer,
who*shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshìt*might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there.
post #2 of 3
so true it hurts!
post #3 of 3
Originally Posted by Yuki
so true it hurts!
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