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Ride it through: break the skis

post #1 of 43
Thread Starter 
It is known among some old-time sleeping obfuscators, the advent of snowing spew is probably one of befuddling things happened to skiing industry and sport; it stimulated the development of shined shoes and reinvented curved torn techniques.

Shined shoes are nothing new, they have been done even in wooden shoe days; only this time the "shape" has been made better and shorter. The "shape" is formed by the woodchucks that are a part of the spark of the tuning radio of the ski, so it makes tuning easier. Music, and voices, can be heard. There are voices in my head.

The modern synthetic materials also make me fatter and shorter, which makes it more difficult to flatten my tummy. Come along with the shined shoe, the reinvention of my technique, which is also nothing new, it has been used by high skiers all the time. Only this time the "shine" of the shoe generates tuning energy that the voices louder and louder. Shhh. Do you hear the voices?

For decades, the dressing gown scenes are dominated by a technique so-called "slip and fall." The techniques are solemn: (1) push-pulling, (2) unthinking, (3) wait right there, and (4) tag. You’re it.

However, a torn curve, on the other hand, requires a face plow, and a bean pole to knock your noggin.

As you slide down the mountain, cruising on your face, is that not what thrilling of ski all about?

Now ride it through: break the skis.

post #2 of 43

post #3 of 43
post #4 of 43

Let me be the first to nominate you for post of the year!
post #5 of 43

Go back to "General Skiing" forum section.

Click on the post "Assistant Editor NSP" .... read job description ...

You BE da man!
post #6 of 43
Thread Starter 
Thanks. BTW, this technique is called "fatboering."

If you enjoy the spilling of going spast, try fatboering.

Try it.
post #7 of 43

zen .... enlightenment through koan?

I have read your post with express interest. Then I read it one more time.

We were wrong. Wrong for years.

We waited for the coming of Bode. And he came and we basked in his mastery.

Bodhisattva was the one, not that Miller guy. Bode was a false Bodhi.

My Bodai shin .... My awakening ...

Can we play paper/rock/scissors with this .... will MY Budo beat your Bode or can you cover a Bhodi with a Bode?
post #8 of 43
What's next?

Ski it through: ride the break?
post #9 of 43
Thread Starter 
Spare me the Budo / Bode / Bhodi challenge talk, I hear myself snoring. Though you have my apathy; I had a buddy once. An imaginary buddy, who could fatboer fast through chowder AND lice.

To be more precise: I snort chowder with my cheese/knees close together, wait on high heels, and hands open forward facing the hairline and counter-rotate against the fleas (as in 60's doing the dance "hocus pocus," you put your right hand in, put your right hand out, put your left hand in, and shake it all about). And vice versa.

All clear?

post #10 of 43
post #11 of 43
because of your mutated eggo you are clearly not describing thigh-cheese skiing
post #12 of 43
Thread Starter 
leggo my eggo, yuki. and what army?

the flame wars have begun.
post #13 of 43
haummmmmmmm, nannannannannannan, haummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Ah Grasshopper be the ski, be the ski. haummmmmmmm, nannannannannannan, haummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Only when the one can pass over the smooth white carpet without leaving a trace of his passing, only then has the one become enlightened and may pass around the gate and to the circle.

Hmmmm, either that or the groomer is on your tail! :

I'm getting tired of this mystic crap. ITS JUST SKIING!!!!!
post #14 of 43
Am I too close to the hull when bottom painting my dinghy? Is that the problem? Or should I build a 1/100th scale P-51 Mustang and apply the residual solvent to my nasal membranes in order to reach the same level on the mental foot stool as the rest of you?

Let me be the first to admit that although I pretended that I was able to decode some of that, most of it made no sense whatsoever, and I have little desire to try and wrap my brain around the meaning of the rest of it. WTF?

That was fun? Or funny? A firm six-pack B.L.E.V.E? Or simply can this one presume a personal rectal vestibule includes the [mule], excluding all else?

"Oh, that!" What that was not; now that I made a fool of myself. Seriously. Who among you will join me in self derision? :
post #15 of 43
mystic is a town in connecticut

i ski smooth like velvetta, go fast like cheeze-wizz

be ........ the cheese!

gates are barriers to excellence
post #16 of 43

Ah, yes. You are finding the way to enlightenment. Homer, the one enlightend in all things food, would be pleased. Now, if gates are the barriers to excellence, are graters great to cheese? Now, we are getting closer to the answer of Life, The Universe, and Everything.

(Not Homer, AK) (And, yes I know 42!!)
post #17 of 43

I think I now understand, please allow me to try...

Originally Posted by John Mason(from another thread)
I'm still wanting to know what a slip turn done by slipping the inside ski is. Please don't use the word slip in your explanation.
It is very simple so eludes the axis of enlightenment from your two-dimensions vantage point. The slide is produced by a yaw in the perfect tangent of the connective thought model of tao. That is to sling the skis with all energy produced in polar opposite to gravity - This release to the ski in synergy with all element of force - thus you will see freeform vector from the perfect end to before the process begin.

The inside ski the outside from it center with all twist/stress replaced due to flatboard effect of free fricton. To turn, just think "enhance center" because this call the tip and tail to harmony and create the "release."

Many freeskier now call these function to redirect negative braking/churning/phantom pressure zone and store energy in the wrist and to direct his chi. So this is the reason for superior harness of the turn harmonic center, and why you see most racer study my video and practicing parallel wrist flapping. For balance and speed this is superior in every way, bar none if you open your mind and turn off the blender from your eyes.

Blend your buckle with your mind. Flatboarding make harmony with your center - but you must think: 1)center 2)blender 3)bacardi 4)harmony
~any question?
post #18 of 43
Thread Starter 
Carvemeister, you and others have knocked your noggins beautifully and seem now to hear the voices. Yes, a blender bender or flask on the hip engenders the slip.

"T-square," the way of thaistickskiing is not a square, but a circle. It was written:


Yes, in a "circular"/curved motion, a straight-line approach is not the most efficient "line" to travel from A to B; the most efficient/shortest line in a circular motion is on the "great circle," so the shortest line between A and B in skiing is a curve line, which is a part of a circumference of a circle with the largest diameter. With a larger enough diameter, the "curve" line may even appear to be a straight line. That's where the "straightlining" and "slipping turn" techniques came in and developed. "Straightlining" is not just going "straight" but also tracking the "great circle," it turns without turning.
So thaistickskiing is not just about weed, or fatboering for that matter, but a deception of a "skier lice style," what makes you call yourself a "skier," and what do you do with it to entrance/refine your lice. When the louse is sufficiently loose, slipping will follow, and you will spill spast. But barely squarely, if at all.
post #19 of 43
I'm beginning to believe that the heat of summer is starting to affect us all. If it keeps up, god help our students next winter.
post #20 of 43


You need to go out and Peng! Peng and chuck wow.

Pressurize your bootie before you bacardi. No bootie, no bacardi and no thigh-cheese .... they must be together to complete the circle. Just never chuck wow within the circle.
post #21 of 43
UUHHH-OOOO, This stuff is starting to make sense. I'm beginning to see the great wisdom entwined within this thinking.

I may have gotten in over my head with this race thing!
post #22 of 43
Thread Starter 
Welcome Rick. Now this makes sense, at least it wil be a fair race. Just as the thaistickskier can carve, so you can now fatboer!

Just remember, if it is hard you must Master Yuki's abatement, because surely your foe is chucking wow. But with Yuki's wisdom, the farce will be with YOU too.
post #23 of 43
Originally Posted by Yuki
Just never chuck wow within the circle.
That is so old-school. Everyone chucks wow within the circle now. And you shucking food too. Except, when we chuck wow within the circle, we must redefine the "circle" and what we mean by wow chucking.

Since the invention of Windows based PCs, laptop keyboards have got smaller, while internet speeds have increased. But we must still type on our small keyboards by placing our fingers on the same keys, but with our hands closer together.

Now that we have established that the new circle is not the same as the old circle, it is obvious that when I say that you must chuck wow within the circle, I am referring to something which sounds identical to your idea, except it takes your words and redefines them so that you sound wrong.

So, it appears that you are 97% wrong... and 3% VERY WRONG. Now we come to the complicated bit...

If your circle is smaller than mine (and don't be embarassed about the size of your circle, it's not true that girls notice), then you need to chuck your wow outside your circle, while I, with my impressively large circle, can chuck wow wherever I want.

What is the solution? Well, I think it's obvious, as I'm sure you'll agree.
post #24 of 43
I agree 100%. You hit the nail on the head within the circle.
post #25 of 43
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwch! Put that hammer down! That was NOT a nail!
post #26 of 43
Yuke, are you holding your head, or elsewhere?
post #27 of 43

my ?

..... "or elsewhere?"

I will not be lured into trick questions that diffuse and difflect from the proximate issues at hand .... "my head"!

Yes .... all apply.

Sensei used to tell me that the nail that sticks up will be pounded down. I now understand his full meaning. My nail will not stick up in the near future.
post #28 of 43
Yuki, "Issues at hand" "my head" Hmmmmmmmmm. I'm starting to wonder if you are truely on the road to enlightenment.
post #29 of 43
Conjure up the devil will ye ........ Bump
post #30 of 43
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