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Church Bells

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Just got this one by email....

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went
straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother
and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her
grandmother replied, He had a heart attack while we were making love on
Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old
having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied
granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the
best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous,
simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if The ice cream truck hadn't come along."
post #2 of 10
Let me be the first to say I've heard that joke before and, it's ok, I guess. Yeah, not bad. I mean, it's good. I chuckled a little. But I wasn't like "wow, that's some funny sick stuff." It's naughty, but nice. I could get used to it. I guess it really wasn't all that bad.
It won't stir up much controversey, so that means not a whole lot of views. So you might want to factor that in. Or maybe not. At least I've seen it so far. That's a start. And I think it's funny. So I vote to keep it. Nice job. But it could have been better. More saucy, more shocking, a little more of the wow-what-the-hell-did-she-just-say factor, you know? Seriously, nice rebound.
post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
I'll probably hear from the AARP
post #4 of 10
I don't know, carvemeister........."out on the dong" was fairly frisky.

And I know of some church bells that could be offended.
post #5 of 10
ole folks sex joke! Cute!
post #6 of 10
Originally Posted by Bonni
I don't know, carvemeister........."out on the dong" was fairly frisky.
True Bonni, I guess it all depends on what the meaning of "out" is! :
post #7 of 10
Well I liked the joke, just forwarded to some friends and my 84 yo mother.
post #8 of 10
Two residents of the old age home were speaking in the common room.

John: I remember how fit I was when I was young, I could ski all day, dance all night, and do it all over again for the whole season. But that was a long time ago I can barely remember it.

Mary: I bet I can guess your birthday.

John: No way.

Mary: If I can't I'll let you have me all night long.

John: Ok, when's my birthday?

Mary: But you have to take all you clothes off first, so I can see you. Or I won't be able to make a guess.

John: Ok (removes clothes. Now stands naked in the common room).

Mary: Your birthday is June 8, 1936.

John: Wow, that's remarkable! How could you tell?

Mary: You told me yesterday.
post #9 of 10
At age 82 and 84 Ida and Bernie decide to get married. Considering their advanced age, they decide to have full medical workups in preparation for the event. After all the tests are done Doc Frau meets with them in her office and Ida impatiently asks "Vell Doctor, howza my Bernie?" Doc answers "Ida Bernie is in fine shape and will have no problem performing his husbandly duties." So Bernie asks " Ok Doc, How's my Ida?" Doc says "Bernie, I must tell you the truth. Ida has acute angina" Bernie answers "I know it's cute, dats vy I vant to marry her."

Ok Dr Frau, how many times did you hear that one in med school?
post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
LOL Stache -

Only here.

Though it does remind me of some advice we were given in Med School on how to ask "delicate" questions of our patients. We were told to be VERY specific, because the story goes that one day a Medical Student as part of a routine exam, asked her patient if she was "sexually active"....

The patient's reply?....

"No, I just lie there."

(Ba-Dum-DUM - Chaaaa)
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