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You Might Be a New Englander if...

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Forget Rednecks ... here's what Jeff Foxworthy has to say on New
Englanders:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you
might live in New England.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
each year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and
Boston gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you live
in New England.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
live in New England.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the
year, you live in New England.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you live in New England.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New
England.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NEW ENGLANDER WHEN:

"Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City for the
weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day, and back
again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows
how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. - absolutely!!!

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road
construction.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce.

"Down South" to you means Philadelphia.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New
England friends and new friends in Florida who now know why I'm still thawing out!!!
post #2 of 25
You got that right! We've had FROST the last 3 nights!
I am still waiting to plant the garden. What a strange growing season!
post #3 of 25
Post deleted by spg

post #4 of 25
Thread Starter 
Growing season??? Oh, yeh. Thats the four days after mud season when there's no frost.
post #5 of 25
and when........

you understand the seasons real names ...mud/summer/leaf-peep'n & winter...or mud/fish'n/deer/winter.

your car has rust.

the old cars are still in the yard .....in the back..... somewhere.....over by .....all the other stuff.

when you understand the meaning of "up to".

the power goes out and you don't worry about it.

you always signal to change lanes.

Sorels are considered acceptable formal footware.

In the Spring (that would be mud season) you understand that the building where they make syrup isn't on fire......so you don't bother to report it.

and you might be a native New Englander if someone stops to ask "where does this road go ?" and you respond with the obvious answer...."it don't go no-where....it stays right here."
post #6 of 25
Thread Starter 
You can't get tharr from hearrrr.
post #7 of 25
It's not mud season, it's not "still winter", it BLACK FLY SEASON!
post #8 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Square
You can't get tharr from hearrrr.
The proper pronunciation is "they-uh from he-uh"

If you were a New Englander you'da no'd that.

And you can if'n you turn at the church.

Whats that?? you say?? No church??

If'n you'd been here in '62, when it burnt down, you'da no'd that too.
post #9 of 25
[quote=Uncle Louie]and when........

In the Spring (that would be mud season) you understand that the building where they make syrup isn't on fire......so you don't bother to report it.

QUOTE]

Actually did this, (reported a sugar shack on fire) while riding my motorcycle back to college my very first year as a "New Englander":

Also found out riding a bike in March in New England is NOT much fun as your only mode of transportation.
post #10 of 25
this reminds me of an SNL skit a bunch of years ago --- it was a game show with a bunch of new englanders. the question was "how to you get to X?"

"you wanna make a right at the dunkin donuts, then hang a louie at the retahdid kid sellin fiyuah wooks and then keep going cuz yah almost theyah"

hee hee -- ah the memories!
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by skier_j

Actually did this, (reported a sugar shack on fire) while riding my motorcycle back to college my very first year as a "New Englander":
Well ya ain't the first, by Jeesuss.
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by klkaye
dunkin donuts, then hang a louie
Aw crap...........not again......makes my neck hurt.
post #13 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Louie
you always signal to change lanes.
:

If you drive anywhere near Boston you know that this one doesn't make sense...
post #14 of 25
.

First time I tried (totally clueless as usual), to drive in Boston it was too much. Tried to merge onto some damned highway in the city during am rush. Horns beeping at me and not a gap in traffic to be had, I finally just "did it" ... and got in .... more horns and gestures!

Best part?

The guy ahead of me had a bumper sticker ...

.... "Welcome to Boston! Worst drivers in the world and proud of it!"

When I started spending time in NH, I learned a new word! "Mas_holes"; I didn't feel the need for an explanation.

.
post #15 of 25
Thread Starter 
I love one of the signs on the Mass Highways.

"Trucks prohibited from left lane."

Would someone care to explain that one? It really doesn't make sence. Does it mean that trucks can't go into the left lane or does it mean that they can't leave the left lane?

Real great use of the English Language.

Isn't the proper wording, "Trucks prohibited in the left lane." ?????
post #16 of 25

Boston English

Time to postuh link to the Wicked Good Guide to Boston English.

It's wicked pissa!

Anybody remember making a Packie Run?

Packie run

What you make when you go downna Mahty's, Blanchahd's oah some otha packie to pick up some beah for a kegga.
post #17 of 25
Wicked nahss dictionary, Mahk.

Jeff and I go round and round over ROUTE. He says ROOT, I say ROWT. Roots are under trees and plants. Rowts connect things.

He always brings up that song, Route 66, but that was written by some Mas_hole years ago, therefore doesn't qualify as The Rule. heh heh
post #18 of 25
'root' is the noun, 'rowt' is the verb. Learned that doing training for Fedex couriers who go out on their route (root) to deliver a package that was routed "rowted" to a certain address.
post #19 of 25
Flatlander to Real Vermonter "Well we've lived here for 35 years and both our kids were born and raised here, so shouldn't they be "real Vermonters?"
Answer "If yur cat had kittens in the oven would ya call em "biscuits?"
post #20 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki
.
.... "Welcome to Boston! Worst drivers in the world and proud of it!"

They are bad...but I must say, it's impressive what Bostonians can accomplish even with rush hour traffic. Having family in Manhattan, I never got up to Boston much when I was younger...the first time I drove there, I was fascinated by the "bumper to bumper traffic" that was moving along at 75 mph! It's like a completely clueless NASCAR paceline!
post #21 of 25

beantown

I'd love to see an international WC event pitting the drivers of Beantown against the drivers of Rome or Milan.

Drop off a "team" of 100 Fiat "cinco centos" and aging Alphas on one side of the city ..... ooooooooo too much carnage ... stop visualization ...
post #22 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki
I'd love to see an international WC event pitting the drivers of Beantown against the drivers of Rome or Milan.

Drop off a "team" of 100 Fiat "cinco centos" and aging Alphas on one side of the city ..... ooooooooo too much carnage ... stop visualization ...
I've heard NJ drivers can hold their own.
post #23 of 25

nj .. nah!

We are not even close. They do a lot of "bird shooting" here and in during the past few weeks there have been three incidents of road rage (no dead no wounded), shooting (guns) on I-78.

Driving .... I humbly defer to the "Ma_sholes" ... as my friend from Boston refers to himself.
post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuki
We are not even close. They do a lot of "bird shooting" here and in during the past few weeks there have been three incidents of road rage (no dead no wounded), shooting (guns) on I-78.

Driving .... I humbly defer to the "Ma_sholes" ... as my friend from Boston refers to himself.
I guess the "finger" is so under rated.
post #25 of 25
the drivers in jersey are just bad
the drivers in mass are just m*******s, but they're pretty good at what they do.
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