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Tax time for the rabbi

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Subject: IRS

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit
synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the
Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."

"Yes," answered the Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he

"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up.
When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every
and then, they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his
question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try
another question, in his obnoxious way... "Rabbi, what about all
these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the
crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and
then, they send a box of matzo balls."

"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the
foreskins from the circumcisions?"

"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is
save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them
the Internal Revenue Service."

"Internal Revenue Service?," questioned the auditor in

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Internal Revenue Service. And about
once a year, they send us a little prick like you.
post #2 of 6
post #3 of 6


At a retirement party for a mohel, they present him with his farewell gift.

He opens the package and says ... "How nice, a wallet, and what kind of leather is this?".

The Rabbi says ... "It's made from foreskins! Rub it and it turns into a suitcase."
post #4 of 6
reminds me of the mohel for the elephants at the zoo- the pay isn't much but the tips are tremendous.....
post #5 of 6
Hey, I'm Irish so I guessed on the spelling of mohel and my wife has every dictionary and encyolopedia AND reference book in the house tied up with her pursuit of some magic coins or tokens.

A "Tolkien" type story with clues and crypto stuff. Find a token and win $$$.

I'm sure swiftskier will be all over my error.

I corrected the spelling but were the "phonics" OK?
post #6 of 6
Yuki- don't worry. There is no correct English spelling. It's a phonetic equivalent. Your spelling was fine (the Yiddish version), mine was the Hebrew.
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