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Ski Confessions - Post Yours Here! - Page 5

post #121 of 197
18 inches of new snow. My job is to open a trail that has been closed all season. I kept forgetting to remove the closed sign. Finally on my 3rd run I remembered to remove the closed sign. This only happened once. Honest.
post #122 of 197
I will intentionally hit the snowboards of people who sit on the chair off ramp or in the middle of a cat track and then say, "Hey, could you possibly get more in the way." I consider it aversion conditioning.
post #123 of 197
I already posted the most recent sin back in April. Now that the thread is alive again there´s an old one.

30 years ago I was a young high school teacher and went with my students for a week ski course to the mountains. Incidentally, a girlfriend of mine lived in a small town next to the resort we were staying.
She went to visit me and stayed secretly overnight. In the morning, we didn´t get up early enough for her to disappear in time. It was slightly dramatic to get her out. Fortunately enough, the student who was my roommate (and who had spent the night somewhere) was a ski racer I knew from outside the school and he helped us.
I was an immoral teacher to have done that.
The head of the course, a colleague of mine and also a former ski racer, somehow learned about the episode. She found it quite funny. On the final day I was given a special diploma (the same the winners of school course races got) for the winner of a "Love Stories" contest.
I still have it somewhere. I never told my mother (an ex-teacher) what it really meant.

Of course I feel like Edith Piaf: I never regret...
post #124 of 197
I was once having problems with my boots, so I took the liners and orthotics out monkeyed with them then put them back in. Did one run, it was the worst foot pain I'd ever had! I need new boots I'm thinking. Got back to the base, took the liners out again and noticed the big "L" on the bottom of the one in the right boot and the big "R" on the other. I had put the Left orthotic in the Right liner in the Left boot and vice versa.

Ended up buying new boots later that day.

When in doubt blame your equipment.
post #125 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkiMangoJazz
I was once having problems with my boots, so I took the liners and orthotics out monkeyed with them then put them back in. Did one run, it was the worst foot pain I'd ever had! I need new boots I'm thinking. Got back to the base, took the liners out again and noticed the big "L" on the bottom of the one in the right boot and the big "R" on the other. I had put the Left orthotic in the Right liner in the Left boot and vice versa.
Still better than putting the Left liner into the Right shell or even putting the Left boot on the Right foot.
post #126 of 197
That's what I did, the Left liner was in the right shell with the right orthotic in it!!
post #127 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkiMangoJazz
That's what I did, the Left liner was in the right shell with the right orthotic in it!!
As long as you keep putting your boots on corresponding feet you should be considered competent enough to ski individually.
post #128 of 197
Forgive Ullr for I have strayed from the path of carving skis. I just bought my first pair of Twins.
post #129 of 197
I was training some gates and a young snowboarder cut out onto the course, after 3 people had screamed at him stop!! course!! etc. being the second time this happened that day, i decided against avoiding him and threw a shoulder into his back, being 6ft and 210lbs gives me alot of momentum. He went spiraling down the mountain and took a long time to get up. That ended his day. And hopefully taught him a lesson.

One other favorite story but doesn't involve me, an aquantence of mine, Mr. X, who is a D1 ski racer and football player was leaving a race with only his jacket over his GS suit, seeing the suit a cocky 20 somthing boarder yelled "Nice spandex f@got", Mr. X calmly walked over to him and inquired as to what exactly he had just said. Being cheered on by his friends, he stood up and said, "your a f@g", before he could finish the sentence a right hook landed squarly on his chin, knocking the kid out cold.

I don't normally condone violence against snowboarders but sometimes it seems like it is the only action that produces results. A warning to anyone prone to the behavior mentioned above, remember that most ski racers, especially those at higher levels, do extensive weight and speed training, even though they may be wearing spandex, and you have camoflage fatigues on, does not make you tougher than them.
post #130 of 197
Nice! Consequences. That's what's missing from the lives of so many of today's youths.
post #131 of 197
I've been known to fish for a hoot or holler skiing under the lift on blues where I know I'll look good. I'm so vain.

I'll plant my pole right between the skis of someone I think is trying to sneak by me in line.

A patroler friend brought me along for fresh first run in some unopened run, I liked it so much that I ducked the rope the next time down the hill, but got caught by another patroler waiting on stake-out of the closed bowls. I just got a warning.

I've bought seven pairs of skis since the beginning of February. Four pair after the season ended. I know, I have a problem.... One pair was a gift for a friend, but that was partially an excuse so I could buy more skis. AND I'm still looking....
post #132 of 197
Those cannons, Are artillery, Howitzers are used aty some resorts and they will blow the living shit out of you. Trust me I seen mortars in action and they werent aimed at snow either !!! You will know what I mean IF you know what my signature means and what group uses it
Quote:
Originally Posted by paul jones
Snobowler

Nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about. Wear it as a badge of courage.

When I lived in Whistler, back before Blackcomb or whatever its called. We used to take the early gondola because I worked at the round house - at the top. Instead of going to work we would sneak off and ski the fresh. The patroll had this cannon and they would fire bombs at the areas were slides were possible. Many landed rather close. When we finally got caught we were warned that those bombs were supposed to set off avalanches. We were real scared but we went back the next day. That was 1980 - 1981.
post #133 of 197
Fellers:

Scared the $h!+ out of me. We didn't know what we were doing - still don't. Mellowed with age and don't look for as much trouble these days. But those first tracks still mean a lot to me.
post #134 of 197
Huh, I am lucky that I have never seen those in use, For now I am only scared when I hear a helicopter above me and make holidays at the Arlberg.
post #135 of 197
I believe aspen mtn still uses a howitzer if i'm not mistaken among others. But, I might be mistaken

But I'm a big poacher there are some real nice drops and a big huck at gore that they only let certain Mtn. personell ride and I poach it all the time and have only been caught once. He only punched my ticket and told me next time im out. So next time I went bigger and faster w00t
post #136 of 197
Where to start..................hmm

Well at our wonderful tiny MA high school race hill, the patrol decided to be *******s and jump out of the woods and try to pull us (race team) over while doing chinese downhills for going too fast. One of the older-than-dirt patrollers who can't ski parallel jumped out RIGHT in front of me and I hit him, pretty hard. Everyone else in our group got reported to the coach, but I went into the lodge instead of back towards the lift and changed my jacket .

To me, every slow sign is a GS gate, you can often tell where I've skied by the trail of broken bamboo (hurts like a bastard w/out a gs suit). That is unless it's vail, with the stupid gauntlet of signs that "forces" you to go back and forth. Slalom turns anyone? (pole guards help). Then there's the last run of the day on my gs skis, on a really nice, wide empty pitch, skiing really well, then I see like 10 slow signs at the bottom w/ ambassadors at the bottom whose job is to yell at people to slow down. Needless to say, I didn't.

Other than that I use beginners as gates, but who doesn't?
post #137 of 197
On ocassion I have been known to poach the "Fun Zone" since the beginners don't ski the powder there.:-) I prefer using Intermediates for gates more challenging.
post #138 of 197
you are so poor in America.
In Europe I've never ever heard that anyone was fined anything for speeding, they wouldn't like if you speeded in the novice area, but otherwise the lifties might even ask you, from which skiclub your from.
I sometimes still have around 30 to 40 km/h when entering the ticket chek area. Not a few times did I crash into that ticket thingie lightly, because it was so icy in front of it. that's when people start to shout at me, however thats all. You need to make good some time, don't ya. (always if there is a lot of snow, they need to shovel it away, and often they put it on the side, piling up there, so basicalley you enter very fast, and if many people stand around you just ride over those piles, and drop back down in front of the ticket gates.
post #139 of 197
Extremec

It's rare in America to get fined for too fast skiing. Patrons have been known to loose thier ticket from time to time but not often. I find the bigest threat is when they take your name. That is something I just can't afford!
post #140 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by extremecarver
you are so poor in America.
In Europe I've never ever heard that anyone was fined anything for speeding, they wouldn't like if you speeded in the novice area, but otherwise the lifties might even ask you, from which skiclub your from.
I sometimes still have around 30 to 40 km/h when entering the ticket chek area. Not a few times did I crash into that ticket thingie lightly, because it was so icy in front of it. that's when people start to shout at me, however thats all. You need to make good some time, don't ya. (always if there is a lot of snow, they need to shovel it away, and often they put it on the side, piling up there, so basicalley you enter very fast, and if many people stand around you just ride over those piles, and drop back down in front of the ticket gates.
You wish you were an American, we are RICH lad RIch. I'm proud to be an american for atleast I know I 'm free.
post #141 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by paul jones
Extremec
It's rare in America to get fined for too fast skiing. Patrons have been known to loose thier ticket from time to time but not often. I find the bigest threat is when they take your name. That is something I just can't afford!
The impression you may get from stories about this or that racer (or any other good skier) having had problems with the Patrol is that like the Police on highways, there are patrolmen hidden behind each bigger tree and waiting for the culprits to catch them in flagranti.
post #142 of 197
I once intentionally knocked over a kid on a showboard for running into my mother earlier in the day. I was 23 at the time and felt guilty as hell later in the day when I realized the kid was no more than 13 and was obviously a beginner.
post #143 of 197
Oh yeah, I also lied to someone on a lift at Squaw about my exploits dropping into Corbet's. I've never even been to Jackson's Hole...
post #144 of 197
I once stopped off-piste to make yellow snow in a snowstorm. I took off a glove to open my pants... With all the layers of clothing I couldn't actually see what I was doing. When I finished I discovered I had peed in my glove. In those days I didn't carry a spare set of gloves, so had to confess to the others why I was going back down to the hotel (I'd wrung out the glove but had to put it on again to ski down.)
They wouldn't let me forget it.

Another time, many years ago, I was on a chair lift and was so busy watching and laughing at someone who had fallen over on the slope I didn't realise I was near the top. I couldn't open the bar in time since it caught on my jacket in my haste.
The bullwheel was high up in a small building about 40 yards further on so everyone watched as I carried-on into the building and they stopped the lift so I could get out.
I walked down the small stairs inside and snuck out the door at the bottom (hoping nobody was watching)and shut the door behind me. However I was wearing a red hat with a bobble dangling off it and I found I'd caught the bobble in the door... and the door had locked.
Took me about a quarter of an hour to find someone who had a key and make them understand what I wanted (since this was Austria and I don't speak German).

Actually that hat is another confession.
post #145 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by huckingfellers
Those cannons, Are artillery, Howitzers are used aty some resorts and they will blow the living shit out of you. Trust me I seen mortars in action and they werent aimed at snow either !!! You will know what I mean IF you know what my signature means and what group uses it
How about an on-line gamer that plays War games? I believe Iraq assault is your favorite.... This is the only reference to the name I could find other than to a boat forum, but I don't see how it pertains to live ammo. Come on' give us something to read during the summer!
post #146 of 197
Removed becasue obviously this old Urban legend was not funny.
post #147 of 197
At this point in this thread we have 145 penitents and 3,264 priests wiling to hear their confessions...
post #148 of 197
Snowball,

That's a great story. Please don't be embarassed about peeing in your glove, it could happen to anyone.
post #149 of 197
-- skiing alone off High Rustler at Alta (rule #1- never ski alone), bang left onto one of my favortie tree shots. There is a short traverse through some trees and then you turn down the fall line. Well, going under a tree limb I don't duck quite enough and the hood of my gortex jacket snags the limb above and simultaneously the snow under my skies sloughed off a little bit. So, I am alone and hanging by the rolled up hood of my jacket. First- try to tear it, but it is gortex and still rolled up- so that wasn't happening. Cut it?- my gortex jacket? do you have any idea how much they cost -- my income stream consisted of flipping burgers at lunch time.

seems easy to unzip and slip out of it, but not with a backpack on. After much bouncing and flailing- I manage to slip out of back pack and coat all at once- pack slips down on hits me in the head- I am pissed- I reach up to pull my jacket down in a rage, and THEN it tears???? this all took maybe 10 minutes, but enough so I miss last chair and have to hike up to my place of employment and housing-

I still ski alone.
post #150 of 197
When two lines come together and you're supposed to alternate . . . I used to get really p***ed off by the people who try to follow the group immediately in front of them pretending they haven't realised. My revenge has been to wait until they set off and then tramp all over their skis as I cross over. You've got to be prepared to take the consequences 'cos people do get very, very p***ed of by it. But, and this is the confession, it's got to be an adrenaline rush 'will I get in an argument or even fight ??' to the point where I hang back almost inviting people to try it on. So far only verbals but sooner or later it's bound to escalate.

In Austria three snowboarders cut across me + girlfriend and I was too slow so I 'accidentally' rammed the back of this guys boot with my ski. He was not happy, really not happy but even then it didn't kick off.
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