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I went to the optician for my annual eye test.
He did the usual checks then told me to have a seat in the waiting room.
About 20 minutes later he asked me to go into his office.

I sat down and he told me I really ought to give up masturbating.

I told him I thought that was an old wives tale.

He said. "Oh, your eyes are fine, you're just bothering the other people in the waiting room."