Wake up at 4:30AM; It's -3F outside and I hop into my (cold) 1977 Subaru. It's 2.5 hours to the mountain but it's the closest place I can afford to live with the price of mountain real estate these days. After an hour driving, the half cup off coffee I left in the cup holder yesterday is thawed enough to drink. I feel around and find half a Powerbar under the seat. Ahhhh, breakfast. After another half hour of driving, the right fender falls off my '77 Subaru. No big deal, it's a replacement I fashioned out of duc-tape two seasons ago. I'll hit the guys at the shop up for another roll and make a new one tomorrow.
Get to the mountain at 7:00AM. Supervisor asks me to spend an hour setting up the beginner area. It's now 2F and I spend an hour lugging poles, chains, and signs around ... off the clock.
At 8:15AM, I get my first lesson. A beginner group-- two (drunk) guys from down south, a pair of whiny 9yo girls, a bunch of H1B visa computer programmers from some country with a name I can't pronounce, a 50yo lady who looks like she's spent the last 49 years on a coach watching TV and eating twinkies, and a teenage kid that's been playing hockey since he was two.
I check the equipment. The 50yo lady had her boots on the wrong feet. One 9yo kid had two right boots, the other had two left; no wonder they kept whining that their feet hurt.
We walk over the beginner slope. All the programmer guys fall down after taking one step. It take fifteen minutes to get them all back up. We finally get to the slope and I show them how to step up. They all make tentative sidesteps up the hill, except the fat lady who slides down backwards after every step; oh, and the hockey kid; he skates straight up the hill .... backwards.
I instruct them in making a straight run. The first drunk guy slides from 20' up the learning slope all the way to the lodge. The rental shop did a real good wax job on he's skis last night. The second drunk guy points his skis straight down the hill, pushes off with his poles and goes nowhere. I take his skis off. An inch thick lump of snow packed the entire length of his ski. Shop hasn't wax them in three weeks. The hockey kid has finished skating up the hill backwards and is now skating down the hill forwards.
After and hour and a half of this, it's time to go up the magic carpet and ski down. The hockey kid gets up first, laps us and is back up the lift before the rest of the group has finished loading. Thank the big guy upstairs we don't have a rope tow any more. The rest of the group gers up the lift without incident.
At the top, I instruct that we're all going to go down in a line like a big "S" snake. I make the hockey kid go last. I thought it was rude that he lapped us when noone else had made it down yet. He had fun. All the programmers guys fell down again and he's used them kinda like a slalom gates.
I finally get the class down and we head back up the lift. The hockey kid has lapped us two more times. Second time he's got a pin on is parka and he yells something about "early adminissions program" as he passes us ... doing a daffy ... switch. He used the fat lady who's lying on the slope as a kicker.
After 3.5 hours of this, for which I get paid for 1.5 hours, I wish them all luck, tell them to stay on the magic carpet area and forget about those chairs on the cable. I head in for lunch.
I grab hamburger for lunch. It's kinda dry but that's okay because I got a deal; I paid 1/2 price on my employee discount; it only cost me $7.50.
During lunch it warms up and rains. I head back out and it's back down to 3F. But that's cool. All the customers have left and I get to free ski the rest of the day. I ain't gettin' paid but at least I get to ski. Let's go check that line of bumps up top. Should be just great after that weather change ... not.
I give up trying to ski at 3:00 and head in to pick up my paycheck and head home. My supervisor, some kid who's been playing hockey since he was two, hands me a check for $11.37. I spend 20 minutes scraping the ice off the windshield of my '77 Subaru, buy $11.32 worth of gas and hope that's enough to get back tomorrow for an even better day.
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Originally Posted by therusty  After my morning breakfast and warm up workout, I email changes to my waiting list back to the school. I show up at the drop off point at 9 AM and the valet takes the Porsche to be washed and waxed. As I change into my ski clothes, I notice that the shop has done another excellent job tuning my skis and placing them back in my locker. Frances brings me a hot beverage and the conditions report, then tells me which trail has been reserved for my morning private. My director drops by with an envelope containing $500 cash (my pay for today's lesson), apologizes profusely for the direct deposit system being down and begs me not to quit. I sneak out for a quick run before my 10-12:30 private. She's a hot model who rollerblades all summer. We bash the bumps all morning. When we're done she complains her chest is sore and asks if I do massage. I tell her I'm booked till Tuesday. Georgette has my table ready at 1. She's found an excellent Chardonay in the cellar to go with the poached salmon. At lunch, my Volkl rep tells me he needs a place to dump an extra pair of next years powder skis and he'll give me a free polo if I help him out. There was a 10 inch dump over lunch, but it's all blue skies after dessert. I sneak a dozen runs in by 4. I grab a quick shower and a hot tub on the way out, then check my email. Bobby has the Porche all warmed up and waiting for me at the drop off point and has IM'd Carmen to get a fire burning back at the (company paid for) house.
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