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The worst ski website I've ever read:

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 

Are these people for real? Do they speak English as a first language?
post #2 of 31
that was scary.
post #3 of 31
Thread Starter 
I particularly enjoy the part about modern skis being better off not waxed.
post #4 of 31
How 'bout that? Think of how many waxings you could get out of a can of cooking spray. Remember, ignorance killed the cat, curiousity was framed.
post #5 of 31
Youre right, that was awful... I feel like emailing their email link at the bottom and urging them to close their site... at least that section. That is by far the worst ski advice i have ever heard in my entire life. They must know NOTHING about ski equipment. I dont even know where they were going with the binding section... but it sounded like a lawsuit waiting to happen. They cant be for real... there is no way. Even people that i know thatknow nothing about skiing wouldnt believe that.
post #6 of 31
I kept looking for the indication that it was a joke! :
post #7 of 31
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by MrMatt426
Remember, ignorance killed the cat, curiousity was framed.
Hahah, I like that one.
post #8 of 31
First, you must designate a right and left ski, usually with a sticker or "r" on one ski. Then, you'll ski them that way from then on. You will end up with one leg stronger than the other, even a normal person is about 30% stronger on one side than the other that is before any injuries. While you are flowing your inner boot bladder are your "feet", that is a good time to step into your right and left ski.
Wow. Just like seriously, wow.

post #9 of 31
GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this off their binding page.

Tyrolia SL110, Lightest Binding in the World!

They have Geze bindings for sale for goodness sake! Sure this is some kind of joke...right? That place is downright frightening.
post #10 of 31
That is hysterical. I may be haeading over to SLC for Christamas and I will check this place out! Maybe I will post a review of the store....
post #11 of 31
Anyone around here repping any of the brands they sell as new, or know someone that is? The liability issues presented on that page ought to get a few manufacturers' legal talent into a nice lather.
post #12 of 31
No wonder my boots don't fit just right. I don't have hot air registers in my house!: I wonder if I should put them in the oven as an alternative?:
post #13 of 31
Imagine, there is actually One Man who sits and makes all the P-tex in the world! And it can simply be repaired with a "soda pop can holder plastic that is twisted together and then melted into the deep hole"

This is really scary. Especially the thought of all the people he is encouraging to mess with their DIN settings in a bizzzare trial and error ritual.
post #14 of 31
If there ever was an argument to repeal the First Admendment, this is it!
post #15 of 31


This must be a joke page that a legitimate company put up temporarily as their web page. But there's so much work involved in making such an elaborate fake web page maybe it is actually for real.
Here's how they claim to display their equipment:
post #16 of 31
all those look like rentals to me
post #17 of 31
Their binding advice is particularly dangerous...maybe someone will follow it and sue them:
"Now, say out loud: "righty tighty, lefty loosey!" Always say that before you touch your binding! Right to tighten, left to loosen. The heel is checked by sliding one leg in front of the other. Stretch, jerk, open which loosens it untill you can pop the binding open by yourself. That is too loose so now tighten 1 full turn in the rear and ½ turn in the front. After doing this: never tighten or loosen! More than ½ turn in front, 1 turn in the rear at any one time. Once the toe pops off, tighten before you go skiing and then while you are skiing. This is how much you tighten as you are skiing: it is ok for youth to tighten multiple times during a week. But if they don't ski for weeks then they'll need to do this exercise again. The industry has a chart set by weight and ability level. It is a fast chart! But strong, old, weak and young people should not be set on the same setting simply because they weigh the same. Weight is only one of several variables that create the foot-pound energy (pressure) to get the bindings to release.

As you are skiing, if you hit a turn and the toe pops off: turn both toes ½ turn to the right. If you hit bumps and the heel pops: tighten both the heels 1 full turn. Also, set up each binding separately and independently in the beginning, then when skiing tighten or loosen together. At the top of the lift, at 20 degrees temperature, and a 20 mph wind- your bindings will be frozen shut. The numbers mean nothing. In the spring before you store your ski stuff, take a minute and put masking tape near each binding, move the din number onto the masking tape and loosen each binding to the lowest number on your binding for the summer or each summer your spring will take a set (weaken). In the fall before you go skiing, take the ski bindings out somewhere so you can spray and drip them without getting the silicone on the floor.

Turn the bindings one way and saturate them. Run the pure silicone in one end and out the other, then turn upside down and run the juice the other way. Once a year is all you need to service your ski bindings."
post #18 of 31
I have been down to the skiTruck and It is sort of like a junk yard, flea market of old used and close out skis. It really isn't worth anybodys time to go there. I never saw anything there that was worthwhile buying. Even if I was given something from the Ski truck I would politly say no thank you. it would be to much effort to take the junk to the dumpster
post #19 of 31
I think it's a great website. You're all a bunch of dummies. Just listen to these words of wisdom:

"A dull edge for recreational skiing is forgiving; you make a mistake it will let you correct and keep going. A sharp edge is for racing only or lots of ice; you make a mistake while skiing, it will put you down."

You see, you EpicSki Barking Bears are the dummies, with your fingernail scrapings and your beveled edges. SkiTrucks is the real deal, they even have a guy there who used to make all the files in the world. You don't think he knows his stuff?

You've all been had by the plastic ski wax scraper industry, just to mention one of them!! Fools!! Hahahhahhhaa.....
post #20 of 31
Thread Starter 
Damn! LOL

I really like how they tell people to lube their bindings. I think they misread the tech manual.

Originally Posted by christopherstow
This must be a joke page that a legitimate company put up temporarily as their web page. But there's so much work involved in making such an elaborate fake web page maybe it is actually for real.
Here's how they claim to display their equipment:
Actually, I've been to another shop in downtown SLC that used to display their stuff JUST like that. Last time I went in, I was disappointed because they had cleaned up their act.

The SLC area has some of the most ghetto ski shops you'll ever find, hah.
post #21 of 31
There's actually a great deal of truth -- almost poetic truth -- on that site.

wood core is the largest selling ski in the history of the ski business and there is one main source for this core.

ONE COMPANY accidentally made this core in the early seventies.
While I like the idea of a whole company "accidentally" making something ("What the heck is that thing? Where did it come from? It looks like ... a wood ski core!"), I think what they mean by "company" is a company of plants, which accidentally evolved into trees and made wood. Note that they don't say the "seventies" of what century.

Bindings are like a tool: they hold you in when you are feeling frisky and they let go when you are not feeling well.
They're using "bindings" and "tool" in some sort of metaphorical sense. It reminds me of that brilliant aphorism so often seen on posters featuring highly retouched photographs of birds in the sunset ("If you love something, set it free ...")

GLOVES: Usually get them a little bigger than your hand.
The posters above seem to have overlooked the simple wisdom here invoked. If the gloves are smaller than your hand, for example, what happens? You must acquit, that's what.

Then stand behind the snowboarder and gently push forward.
Excellent all purpose advice, appropriate in many situations, such as lift lines or apres ski social events.
post #22 of 31
Thread Starter 

Those last two are darn funny!
post #23 of 31
I haven't laughed so hard in a while.
post #24 of 31
Some of you guy's comments on this site are hysterical! Johnston got me a good laugh
post #25 of 31
At least they told me how to let the water out of my gloves...

post #26 of 31
You guys missed the most important part:

If you have any additional suggestions, let us know!

Anyone here with "additional suggestions" to share?

Now I have to go and change my pants...
post #27 of 31
I shared my additional suggestions.
post #28 of 31
Next time someone goes down with an injured knee, Take skitrucks to court stating you adjusted your bindings exactly how the recommended a sa ski professional. Wow, this looked more like something you'd see in the deep south instead of SLC
post #29 of 31
Wow, this looked more like something you'd see in the deep south instead of SLC
How deep are we talking here because these folks seem to be living off shore (to say the least!)!
post #30 of 31
I just sent this poor soul a link to this page...I guess I've been wrong all these years...
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