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Ski Instructor Jokes

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Hi gang,

As many of you are aware, I spent last winter writing a book about your humorous teaching experiences. The book is almost ready to go to the printer, but I need one more ski instructor joke if anyone can think of one. Here's what I have so far:

“What's the difference between God and a ski instructor?

God doesn't think he's a ski instructor…”



“What's the difference between a large pizza and a ski instructor?

A large pizza can feed a family of four…”


“How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. One to screw it in and 9 to stand around saying, "Nice turn, nice turn, nice turn........."



“How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. He holds it while the world revolves around him…”



“Why are ski instructors like minivans?

They all look the same and go slow…”



“How do you make a small fortune from ski instructing?

Start with large fortune…”

If anyone would like to see their joke in print, here's your chance! You can E-mail them directly to me at: asmith.vail@comcast.net

Thanks and think snow!
post #2 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alleninvail
“What's the difference between a large pizza and a ski instructor?

A large pizza can feed a family of four…”
Such a good way to put it, truer words have never been spoken

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alleninvail
“Why are ski instructors like minivans?

They all look the same and go slow…”
Ouch, no necessarily true, but all in all, pretty accurate.


But you forget, what does PSIA stand for backwards (old joke - I was told this by an examiner)?

A$$holes In Strech Pants (I hope I don't get in trouble for bypassing the auto edit of the word)
post #3 of 14
Yeah, Manus, I like that one.

What does it stand for...frontwards?

Please Sponsor me I'm Awesome!
post #4 of 14
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
post #5 of 14
Of course the classic.

Q: What do you call a ski instructor without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless
post #6 of 14
How can you tell who the ski / snowboard instructor is in a room full of people?

You don't have to, they will tell you.
post #7 of 14
Whats the difference between a ski school class and a snake ?? The snake has the ******* in the back.
post #8 of 14
Stolen from somebody else on epic:

What does PSIA really stand for?

Pretty Stance, Insufficient Angles.
post #9 of 14
What would sa ski instructor do if he/she won the Lottery??

Keep working until the money runs out!
post #10 of 14
How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.
post #11 of 14
What's the difference between a ski instructor and a certificate of Deposit ? {CD}
The CD eventually matures!
post #12 of 14
there are 4 snowboard instructors and not one of them is driving. who is driving?


A cop
post #13 of 14
What P.S.I.A. standsfor: P rofessional S kiers I mitating A ustrians 0r

Pressing, Sewing, Ironing and Alterations...

the first was mentioned to me by an Austrian ski school director....
post #14 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisamarie View Post
What's the difference between a ski instructor and a certificate of Deposit ? {CD}
The CD eventually matures!
LM,
That's supposed to be:
Q. What's the difference between a Municipal Bond and a Ski Instructor?
A. Eventually a Municipal Bond will Mature and Make Money.
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