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Hard choice of jobs. - Page 2

post #31 of 49
xdog1, I hope your post gets cleaned up or deleted before Pierre reads it. It's vulgar to say the least and don't think it's proper for this or any Forum.

I don't care how many posts you have. That's crap!
post #32 of 49
Whatever dude. It's half a joke, but a valid concern as well. If it makes you uncomfortable, please look away.
post #33 of 49
Thread Starter 
I am not easily offended. I went back to re-read xdog1's post and decided if I had to do that I couldn't possibly claim I am offended now.
post #34 of 49
Originally Posted by xdog1
Will you be OK with the 'ol lady bangin' the mailman? ;-)

Go for the bucks. If you're making bank, you can ski on your terms. When skiing becomes a job, you no longer have that option. I'd love to go "live the dream", but I make too damn much cash here to leave.
Aw c'mon! Not all women cheat the moment their husband is not around.:
post #35 of 49
Pierre, I'm leaning toward the "family first", but that comes from the way I've been raised.
Anyway, you know what is the right thing to do, so don't worry, you'll be fine.
post #36 of 49
Originally Posted by Pierre
I think I am going to go forward with talks on the high paying job. Should things not work out I will be teaching skiing out west next year.
words of wisdom, not so much for the pay but it is rare when a person can get a good job doing what they like with respect thrown in for good measure. enjoy Pierre; your OK
post #37 of 49
Originally Posted by Pierre
I am not easily offended. I went back to re-read xdog1's post and decided if I had to do that I couldn't possibly claim I am offended now.
Cool, as it def. wasn't meant to offend. Just bein' a wisenheimer.

We've got some sensitive folks on board though.
post #38 of 49

This is a tough one. My first impulse was to tell you to go skiing, but after reading some of the threads it seems you can have you cake and eat it too, i.e. take the job and you can afford to go skiing. However, on sober reflection and deeper thought I again change my mind. It seems you want to go skiing.

I don't know what the "high-paying job" is, or whether the pay is worth what you have to put youself through to earn it, but the fact that you have to ask us if you want it or not tells me that you really don't want work at this job.

Go where the spirit moves you.
post #39 of 49
This is a hard one, Pierre, and I don't have an answer. In fact I'm in the middle of a variant of the same choice right now. I'm not at the point where I am an instructor (yet) and certainly not one of your calibre for years if ever. But I'm looking at giving up the (relatively) high-paying job, in fact a fair amount earlier than I planned, become a downwardly-mobile-by-choice mountain person.

In our case, as most regulars here know, Lisa is the one who made the move out west first, and logic says it needs to be at least another year or so before the finances of her new (and thus money-losing) business stabilize enough for me to bail out on BigFinancialCo back in Boston. Yet they are increasingly bailing out on me with offshoring, annual morale-decreasing measures (how small can you make a cube? how much bureaucracy can you add? How much can you increase witch-hunting?). As I approach year-end bonus time, I have some very serious thinking to do about whether I'm waiting for next year's year-end bonus and options payout.

I don't think xdog's comment was out of line - it was just him "bein' a dog" but his underlying concern about stability and keeping the fire going (with each other!) in a long-distance relationship is a valid concern.

And then there's the years. 7-8 years is shorter than 15. But who knows how many we have? And how many of them are good years? In a month or so I hit 52. My brother, 9 years older than me to the day, dropped dead in the shower at age 56 of a massive aneuyrism, brain-dead by the time he hit the tub floor. That doesn't mean I'll go that way or that time, but it was a lesson to me that we just don't know what we have left. I'm beginning to think that even trying to stretch the "real" job out to the lowered-payout early retirement at 55 is just way too long.

I used to work in retail. I used to work in food service. I used to work in a plexiglass and sign-supply warehouse, and still have the scars from jagged plexi and lexan to prove it. Maybe it's time. Work the odd jobs, support a few small businesses' computers and websites, tote the paint in the home improvement store, teach some never-evers while getting more on-snow time, and buy the cheaper dog food (can't cheapen on the cat food, they'd never let me get away with it) - and live the life.

How long do you defer the dream, once you've woken and realized what the dream was?

Don't have the answer, but I'm right there with you on the question, bro!
post #40 of 49

I felt some things in your post that were familiar. I am a bit younger, but probably a few years ahead financially because of not having any kids. A couple years ago, we were about burnt out on corporate America. We looked at dropping out, becoming downwardly mobile, or whatever you want to call it. The investigation alone was part of a refreshment for us. Recognizing that we had choices made it easier to go to work every day because it suddenly became a choice, not a matter of necessity. Sure, it would have been financially painful to have done it then, but it was a choice.

A couple more years of morale busting, in my case I think I was as much the buster as the bustee, and it became an obvious choice. A buyout package completed the deal and we are on our way to the next phase in life. I think it helped me to always look at it as a choice, not just a longing to get away from the crap.

As a harsh reminder along the lines of what you were saying, a friend of my father's died this week at 57. They got a little drunk. She had to go out to drop someone off and he fell into the pool and drowned. He wasn't discovered until the next morning since she got busted DUI while she was out. Weird story, but you never really know how many days of skiing you have left.

Good luck in your decision making process as well.

post #41 of 49
Mark, that was a touching post on many levels. Good job.
post #42 of 49
Thread Starter 
As some of you have guessed. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. My wife and I are very close in personalities but we were raised in totally different environments. I was raised by nomadic tribesmen who couldn't care less about stability. My wife was raised by suburbanites who believe stability and cleanliness are everything.

My wife cannot imagine living west of the Mississippi river or with financial uncertainty. She wants stability and knows that I can't stand that. She is the one who told me she doesn't believe that I will feel fulfilled without going and doing some of the nomadic living that I crave. She does not want to go but loves me enough to say go. When push came to shove, I realize I don't want to leave her for extended periods of time yet a part of me still feels like I am being pulled out the door.

I am thinking that compromise could be working at a job that I would enjoy, seeing my daughter go through college and set out on her own and gaining the finiancial stability my wife wants. Then I could go and she could visit. In 5-7 years I could quit and she would not worry about money. We would last fine until age 67 when SS would kick in. In 10-20 years she will inherit plenty enough to be very comfortable. That is the smart compassionate unselfish thing to do. It would also be far easier.

On the other hand in addition to being a ski instructor I could no doubt find work in the building trades. The level of work that I do is up to the standards of work for multi million dollar homes. I am a jack of all trades and excell at what I do.

The job here would involve developmental field engineering in metal casting in the high tech aircraft industry. I have a degree in Metallurgical engineering and Chemical engineering.
post #43 of 49
It's up to you.
post #44 of 49
Is it possible to juggle both? consulting work? what about getting a "high season" gig in the rockies and spending most time at home and earning the 8* more salary?

I guess I am one of those people who believes that "it's the going not the getting there" that counts most - that said.... there is always a rainy day to plan for!!

My parents have a long-distance situation due to my mother's job, but the hardship of distance is easily bridged when there is income to support frequent visits.

Good luck with this choice.
post #45 of 49
Originally Posted by Pierre
The job here would involve developmental field engineering in metal casting in the high tech aircraft industry. I have a degree in Metallurgical engineering and Chemical engineering.

Have you thought of Seattle? Good skiing and there's a small company called Boeing that has been known to build a high-tech plane or two. Sure, the cost of living is outrageous, but the pay is higher to cover it.
post #46 of 49
As a father who just had a daughter graduate I would suggest you recalculate your daughters cost of education.

Even if Tuition and Dorm is only $12K, which is a ridiculously low price for college. She will have major expensis for food, intertainment and not to mention $700 a semseter for books, plan on another $2-$3 K for the year.

Then what happens when she graduates? Are you assuming that she is instantly going to get a job and enter the work force. Plan for the worst, plan on supporting her and her Liberal Art degree for at least a year until she gets on her feet or joins the Army.

I suggest your obligation is not quite over. I think you should plan on working for the next 4 years then retire.

Whatever way you go, good luck.
post #47 of 49
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
post #48 of 49
Originally Posted by ant
...and on their deathbed, no one ever wished they'd spent more time at the office. ....
That is an excellent quote.
post #49 of 49
One of the things that my wife and I are always intrigued about is the carefree attitude that most serious skiers who live in resort areas have. We were talking to a couple of locals at Big sky whose mantra was "no savings, no medical, no worries". I wish I could be like those good people. It seems there are those who can live that way and those like me that have been raised to believe you have to save for the future and have benefits and all that stuff. I guess this decision is one that only you can make. If you are going to be concerned all the time about money and stability (like I would be) then it doesn't seem to be the route for you. Can you work like a dog for a few years, save something and then try it? I hope to be semi-retired in 5 years (45) and then move west.
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