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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.

"Y'ken", said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Mason's Arms, the barman there will buy your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, that's nuthin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid- all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. But, the Irishman swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister."