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Thread Starter 
Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal
Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when
facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven
Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching,
and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed,
"Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red
shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock,
the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the
mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around
on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them
asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red
shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the
attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you
men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men
sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's
man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout
spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships
approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at
the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast
armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear,
turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."
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