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"Map is artist's rendering only"

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Ever laughed about product warnings? Like that coffee's hot and a bag of peanuts contains nuts? When i broswed throught the American Skiing Comany Resorts catalogue this morning, I discovered the following in the bottom right corner of the James Niehues renderings: "Map is artist's rendering only". I got a laugh out of when I figured some #*%^( measuring out whether the slopes where exactly as wide as pictured. Or if there was a tree on the slope which did not show up on the map. "Your honor, I ran in a tree which is not represented on the map and I therefore request $1M in damages".
post #2 of 19
But sadly, most of the disclaimers are generated by real tort actions where the company has had to defend itself against the idiots (one size fits all).

I hope someone has a link to the best, but one of my favorites was the chain saw manufacturer ..... "Caution, the saw is not to be operated near the genitals" ...

I think the thing that clinched it anginst Mc D's was that they had several prior events, additionally the temp that they served coffee at was above the industry average. You need to prevent .... foreseeable harm to foreseeable persons ....

In many states, tort awards are overturned by a judicial panel that guards against crazy jury awards.

Now ..... trail maps and terrain markings in Braile? If you see a guy holding white ski poles with red tips tapping at the snow .... go the other way!



[ November 30, 2003, 06:50 AM: Message edited by: yuki ]
post #3 of 19
Quote:
think the thing that clinched it anginst Mc D's was that they had several prior events, additionally the temp that they served coffee at was above the industry average. You need to prevent .... foreseeable harm to foreseeable persons
The McDonald's lawsuit is one of the most cited lawsuits around yet few people seem to no many details about it. I believe McDonald's got what was coming to them having burnt my mouth a couple times on their coffee. The problem was McDonalds would keep their coffee scalding hot so people picking up food they would eat 15 minutes later would have hot coffee still. In the particular case the coffee was kept at 190 degrees. When the lady spilled her coffee she got third degree burns in her groin area requiring skin grafts and 7 days in the hospital. The jury awarded extra punitive damage becuase this was known problem and there had been other people burnt by excessively hot coffee at McDonalds but McDonalds had done nothing to address the problem. Even though the jury awarded 2.3 million dollars a judge lowered it to $480,000 which is nothing to McDonalds.
post #4 of 19
Quote:
Do you have any ice...what do you mean, I have to drink this coffee hot???
From Clerks, the movie.
post #5 of 19
She took the lid off and held the cup between her legs while driving so she could add cream and sugar.
post #6 of 19
OK, for that she is welcome to sue McDs, but only if she has her drivers licence revoked permanently.
post #7 of 19
Quote:
Originally posted by yuki:

Now ..... trail maps and terrain markings in Braile? If you see a guy holding white ski poles with red tips tapping at the snow .... go the other way!

Guess you haven't seen one, but...

We do have a blind skier who I've seen at Alta several times this year. He wears a vest to identify him and his guide, who skis in front of him. Truly amazing. Watched him guiding him over to the lift by tapping his poles together to give him a reference point. (Try navigating a lift line maze, let alone the slopes with your eyes closed.) I was thinking the other day that I wonder if he has some sort of 3-D topo map he's checked out beforehand or if he just puts his faith in his guide and goes. Not that you'd really need a mental picture of the resort, but I wondered what you'd get if you'd skied it but never seen it.

[ December 02, 2003, 10:26 AM: Message edited by: altagirl ]
post #8 of 19
Was she trying to drink it while driving?
post #9 of 19
Altagirl: I have seen a few blind skiers with the vest and guide. My post was meant in the most humorous fashion ... the notion of tort and errors on trail maps.

The MOST frightening exercise that I have ever done was skiing blind as part of a clinic. Few of us could make it more than two turns without opening our eyes.
post #10 of 19
[quote]Originally posted by Rio:
Quote:
The problem was McDonalds would keep their coffee scalding hot so people picking up food they would eat 15 minutes later would have hot coffee still. In the particular case the coffee was kept at 190 degrees.
I thought it was so that people would scald their mouths and not worry about the AWFUL taste of what McDonald's calls coffee : - and as an added benefit would want to have more ketchup with their fries. [img]graemlins/evilgrin.gif[/img]

BTW, the second funniest disclaimer (the absolutely first is yuki's about the saw not to be operated near the genitals [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] ) was one I saw on a microwave about not allowing cats into the cooking chamber. The clever company lawyer apparently wanted to strike out on his own and later to sue the company over a dog, a bird, a mouse, a snake, and all other domesticated animals that may wander into the microwave.

[ December 03, 2003, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: AlexG ]
post #11 of 19
F you, I like my coffee hot.
post #12 of 19
Quote:
Originally posted by Xdog:
F you, I like my coffee hot.
LOL! I like mine hot too, but not at any of the fast food joints.
post #13 of 19
Mickey D's java ain't the worst, neither is Dunky D's.

Course as far as chains go, Starbucks still rocks 'em.

Gotta be scalding though! One of my worst peeves is the guy/gal who nurses the giant cup of lukewarm joe from 7-10 am. Yuck!
post #14 of 19
And just to hit your other example, a warning on a bag of peanuts that it may contain nuts can actually be important since peanuts aren't actually nuts they're legumes, they grow underground as opposed to on trees, I'm deathly allergic to tree nuts but peanuts are perfectly okay. Not that there aren't plenty of other stupid warnings out there.
post #15 of 19
Xdog, any coffee in a giant mug is not coffee by definition. Coffee is meant to be served strong, small, NEVER overbrewed, NEVER made out of overbured beans. With a lump of sugar on the side (cream, IMHO, is only added to block the yucky taste of overburned beans). If it doesn't make your heart race at twice its normal rate and a cup of it at dinner doesn't keep you up until 3:00 am - it is not coffee. [img]graemlins/evilgrin.gif[/img] Hot or icy-cold is personal. If I want a hot drink, I will rather get a good tea.

[ December 04, 2003, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: AlexG ]
post #16 of 19
Quote:
Originally posted by yuki:

Now ..... trail maps and terrain markings in Braile? If you see a guy holding white ski poles with red tips tapping at the snow .... go the other way!
I have seen quite a few blind skiers, too- pretty amazing, as some of them do a lot better than many of us with full vision! There was a blind fellow who climbed Everest last year, too.

The idea of Braille trail maps, however, does remind me of something bizarre at my place of work. Each of our operating rooms has both a regular and a Braille sign on the door. Now what on earth is that for- the blind surgeons???
post #17 of 19
: or : .... doesn't matter, either way it's time to get outa' town ..

It's probably so that someone doesn't get it mixed up with the cafeteria or gift shop?

[ December 08, 2003, 04:20 AM: Message edited by: yuki ]
post #18 of 19
Thread Starter 
Okay, I dug out a few product warnings

"In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryero not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

I did not even know the Swedes built chainsaws, huh."
post #19 of 19
Husqvarna, at one time shotguns and now chainsaws.
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