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Men's Rules

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
here are the
rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please
note... these are
all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You
don't hear us
complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of
it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want... Let us be clear on this
one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
hints do not work!
Just
say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.

1. If something we said could be interpreted two ways,
and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want
it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do
it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit.
We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is
fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or
monstertrucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind
that, it's like
camping.

Sorry about the repost. It looked a little familiar, and a search showed that Altaskier posted it over a year ago.

[img]redface.gif[/img]

[ July 28, 2003, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: feal ]
post #2 of 4
NP. every now and then it's nice to be reminded of "our side of the story" too.
post #3 of 4
A good repeat, feal, I missed it the first time. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
post #4 of 4
I think I'll post it on my love's to do list [img]graemlins/evilgrin.gif[/img]

[ August 02, 2003, 12:35 PM: Message edited by: ziggyskier ]
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