or Connect
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › Famous Sexual Quotes (from a muppet friend)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Famous Sexual Quotes (from a muppet friend)

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
* Tom Clancy

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
* Sharon Stone

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
* Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
* Woody Allen

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
* Lynn Lavner

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
* Robert De Niro

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
* Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
* George Burns

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
* Rodney Dangerfield

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she's reading."
* Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
* Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
* Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
* Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor!)

"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
* Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
* Dustin Hoffman

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams
post #2 of 4
I do really like Rod's quote.
I'll keep that in mind
post #3 of 4
Warning Parental Guidance is advised when viewing the following quotations (if you don't understand anything get your kids to guide you until you do)

"I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax."

"I love sex. It's free and doesn't require special shoes."

"For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches."

"I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading."

"Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them."

"If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right."

"Personally I know nothing about sex because I have always been married."

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."

"Chastity is curable, if detected early."

"If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up."

"My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me."

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."

"The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant."

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"No means yes and yes means harder"

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."

[img]graemlins/evilgrin.gif[/img]
post #4 of 4
Quote:
Originally posted by Wear the fox hat:

"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
* Robin Williams

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Rod Stewart

[/QB]
So true, so true...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Humour and Fun Stuff
EpicSki › The Barking Bear Forums › Off-Season Sports & The Lighter Side › Humour and Fun Stuff › Famous Sexual Quotes (from a muppet friend)