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What a way to go...

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."

And at that point, the proctologist fainted.
post #2 of 3
A gastro-enterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual comments made by his patients while he was performing Colon-oscopies.

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10."If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

[ June 04, 2003, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: DangerousBrian ]
post #3 of 3
Sean and Patrick are standing at Seamus' bedside, as he's breathing his last.

"Boys, boys" he says with a gasp. "You've been my best pals all me life, and now that's about to end. But, I've been saving a grand bottle of Irish Mist for me wedding, and it looks like I'll never get to enjoy it now. Promise me, that after I'm gone, you'll pour it over me grave."

Patrick, in tears, says "Of course we will, Seamus. Won't we Sean."

Sean ponders on this for a moment, and says "Yes we will Seamus, we promise."

He pauses for a second, and adds "But, would you mind, if we passed it through our kidneys, first??"
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