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A couple of the local radio station

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The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: Number 1: You have a dirty mind; Number 2: You didn't read your homework; and Number 3: One day you are going to be very, very disappointed.

- Submitted by Margaret Schlieder
Friday, May 2

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A young couple was on their honeymoon. Just before going to bed on their wedding night the husband indicates that he would like to have a talk with his new bride. "Dear", he says, "statistics indicate that the number 1 reason people get divorced is arguments about sex. I never want that to happen to us". The wife indicates that she too would not like for that to happen and asks her husband what they can do to prevent such a tragedy. The husband confidently responds that he has a plan. "Dear, each night when we retire I will lie in bed on my back. If you want to have sex you can tug my privates once". " What if I dont want to have sex" asks the bride? "Then" says the husband, "you should reach over and tug my privates 100 times".

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A guy just got married. He thought it would be nice for him to take his wife away in a carriage. So while he was driving it, the horse kick the carriage. So the man got down and told the horse "Thats one." He started driving again and again the horse kicked the carriage. Again the man got down and told the horse "Thats two." The wife is now getting pissed. So the man starts driving the carriage for the third time again the horse kicks the carriage. The man gets down takes out a gun from the back and shoots the horse right in the face and says "Thats three." Now the wife is yelling and shouting. The man turns to her and says "Thats one."

- Submitted by Andy Larry
Friday, April 25

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A little boy wanted $ 100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $ 100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to the little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $ 5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. however, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and those *******s deducted $95.00 in taxes.

- Submitted by Dale Sampson
post #2 of 2
Priceless! The best yet!
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