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Irish War

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade
next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is
Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Cork, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you
that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How
big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team
from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men
in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the
war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war
is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified
Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys
from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
tell you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin',
Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of
pints, and decided there's no damn way we can feed two million prisoners."

God Bless the Irish!
post #2 of 7
YES!!!!!!!!!!! [img]smile.gif[/img]
post #3 of 7
ABSOLUTELY !!!!!! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
post #4 of 7
If only the world was full of intelligent Irish men!

post #5 of 7
Originally posted by Wear the fox hat:
intelligent Irish men!

As the old professor said , when he saw his first jiraffe :
This animal doesn't exist !!!! :

Real life story for soccer fans only :

A few hours ago I saw a guy in my store with an argentine soccer shirt .He wasn't even talking..I asked if he was an irish tourist . He was surprised but said that he was , but how I knew?.
I answered :
If you see an english looking guy , in Buenos Aires , with an Argentine soccer shirt , you can be sure he's irish.
post #6 of 7
The UK just purposed giving Iraq a deadline of March 17, St. Patrick's Day. Mere coincidence?
post #7 of 7
News just in from the Harp Pub in County Cork
A game of darts has broken out and interupted the fighting.
Normal service is expected to resume once paddy has finished his 13th pint.

[ March 09, 2003, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: DangerousBrian ]
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