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sports medicine

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
>>SPORTS COMMENTATOR SLIP-UPS
>>
>>"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that
before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.....Oh my
God! What have I just said?!!!"
>>(US PGA Commentator)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which
is identical."
(Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them serious."

(Alan Minter)

"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning
and it was amazing!"
(Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him."
(New Zealand rugby commentator Murray Mexted)

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
(Ted Walsh - horse racing commentator)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Winston Bennett)


"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother."
(Greg Norman)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
(Terry Venables - Soccer Coach)

"I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the
Premiership, but there are none better."
(Ron Atkinson - soccer coach)

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew."
(Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field"
(Metro Radio)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
(David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay infootball?
(Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
(David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

"For those of you who are watching in black and white, the blue is
behind the brown"
(Ted Lowe, Snooker commentator)

True story... a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob,
where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too as they were laughing so hard!
>>
post #2 of 3
Excellent, Cal!

Then there are the ubiquitous Bob Beattiisms--"His future lies in front of him"....
post #3 of 3
From the mouth of Jerry Coleman, play-by-play anouncer for the San Diego Padres during the 70s.

"I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over."

"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base."

"If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement."

"It's a base hit on the error by Roberts."

"Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either."

"Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play."

At Royals Stadium: "The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri"

"They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."

" They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb."

"Jesus Alou is in the on-deck circus."

"From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye."

"Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything."

"There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number."

"Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double."

"Turner pulls into second with a sun-blown double."

"All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air."

"Davis fouls out to third in fair territory."

Upon hearing Glenn Beckert's planned retirement: "Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is."

"And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield."

"That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres -- two doubles and a triple."

"Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening."

"Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1."

"Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500."

"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."

"That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures."

"Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues."

"The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split."

"At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3."

"Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia."

"Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight."

"McCovey swings and misses, and its fouled back"

"The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston."

"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?"

"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."

"Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now."

"Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable."

"The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century."

"There's two heads to every coin."

"Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon."

"If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did."

"On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo."

"Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play."

"The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there."

"Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot."

"If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck."

"He can be lethal death."

"Sometimes, big trees grow out of acorns. I think I heard that from a squirrel."

"Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it."

"Hats off to drug abusers everywhere."

"That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it."

"You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was gonna that fast."

"Those numbers with Tony (Gwynn) are so often and so interesting."

"At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria."

"Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting."

"I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him."

"The ballgame is over...in this inning."
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