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Office Dares...

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Office dares…
One point dares
1.Run one lap around the office at top speed
2.Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other person must be in the toilet at the time)
3.Ignore the first five people who say “good morning” to you
4.Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye”
5.To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace
6.When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it and whisper huskily “Mmmmmm, that feels sooooo good”
7.Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points out, say “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”
8.Walk sideways to the photocopier
9.While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Three point dares
1.Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers
2.Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask “did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat myself”
3.Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)
4.Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
5.Shout random numbers while someone is counting

Five point dares
1.At the end of a meeting suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself)
2.Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times
3.For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob”
4.Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a shit”
5.After every sentence, say “Mon” in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “the report’s on your desk, Mon”. Keep this up for one hour
6.While an office colleague is out, move their chair into the elevator
7.In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
8.At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again”
9.In a male colleague’s diary, write in for 10am “see how I look in tights” (pantyhose)
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “do you hear that?” (Them “what?”) “Never mind, it’s gone now”
12.Come to work in army fatigues, and when asked why, say “I can’t talk about it”
13.Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14.Speak with an accent (French, German, Bugs Bunny, etc) during a very important conference call.
15.Find the vacuum cleaner and start vacuuming around your desk
16.Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out
17.Present meeting attendees with coffee and a biscuit then smash each biscuit with your fist
18.During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door
19.Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, then move them around according to the movements of their real-life counterparts

Bonus points for…
1.At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down
2.Tell your children over dinner “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go”
3.every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that
4.Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it “IN”
5.Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso the subject field of all your emails write "FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS”
7.Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy”
8.Don’t use any punctuation
9.As often as possible, skip rather than walk
10.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically when they answer
11.specify that your drive-through order is “to go”
12.Sing along at the opera
13.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme
14.put mosquito netting around your work area. Play jungle music all day
15.five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party cause you’re not in the mood
16.Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock Hard”
17.When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!”
18.When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose”
post #2 of 6
that is the funniest damn thing i have read in a long long time
post #3 of 6
big time ditto!!
post #4 of 6
Hmm. I only score a 23 on this one. I got George Washington on the other!
post #5 of 6
Those are GREAT!!
post #6 of 6
Straight from "Office Space" good job, Mon!
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