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Erik Roner Dies in Skydiving Accident - Page 2

post #31 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post

We were at an event last season when someone we know was talking about  his injuries that altered how he does things but aren't (really) life altering.  He said he won't go sky diving again because of how much of an impact this injury had on his family and the harsh reality of how much worse it could have been.  In his words, "I won't do that to my family" 

Then again, Sherry McConkey talked about how much pain she and their daughter have been through at Shane's passing in relation to the pain of living with Shane if he weren't doing what he loved.  Is there a balance that can be found? 
Yes, there is always a balance possible.

With Sherry's description of emotional pain, in the first case she no longer has her husband, friend, confident, and life partner. That is a very hard journey and I have nothing but empathy for her. In the second case, she would still have him, and he might have rediscovered other aspects of his life and find other pursuits that may have been fulfilling to him. Maybe he would have been happy and not impossible to live with, as Sherry seems to imply might happen if he were to have give up or minimized the thrill-seeking and mope around unhappily.

Speaking as a therapist, and as an individual who was at one time in life absolutely crushed by my failure to live what I was convinced was my most cherished aspirations: somehow I survived, grew, evolved in my thinking and emotion life, gained other perspectives. I believe this is always possible.

Shane, and many other amazing athletes who are active in extreme sports and stunts, all have (or had) the capacity to find additional things they love or gave them great meaning and satisfaction.
post #32 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by DesiredUsername View Post


Yes, there is always a balance possible.

With Sherry's description of emotional pain, in the first case she no longer has her husband, friend, confident, and life partner. That is a very hard journey and I have nothing but empathy for her. In the second case, she would still have him, and he might have rediscovered other aspects of his life and find other pursuits that may have been fulfilling to him. Maybe he would have been happy and not impossible to live with, as Sherry seems to imply might happen if he were to have give up or minimized the thrill-seeking and mope around unhappily.

Speaking as a therapist, and as an individual who was at one time in life absolutely crushed by my failure to live what I was convinced was my most cherished aspirations: somehow I survived, grew, evolved in my thinking and emotion life, gained other perspectives. I believe this is always possible.

Shane, and many other amazing athletes who are active in extreme sports and stunts, all have (or had) the capacity to find additional things they love or gave them great meaning and satisfaction.

While I do agree with you, it works both ways: ie, losing a loved one is horribly painful, yet it should not be the end of the world, either. You still have to go on and live your life, and find fulfillment and purpose and all that, too. 

post #33 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by segbrown View Post
 

While I do agree with you, it works both ways: ie, losing a loved one is horribly painful, yet it should not be the end of the world, either. You still have to go on and live your life, and find fulfillment and purpose and all that, too. 

 

But comparing losing your spouse to your spouse not being able to ski or sky dive again is a bit of a stretch IMO.    Comparing death to not being able to ski is ridiculous...

 

I'd give up anything for my wife and family in a heartbeat

post #34 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by focker View Post
 

 

But comparing losing your spouse to your spouse not being able to ski or sky dive again is a bit of a stretch IMO.    Comparing death to not being able to ski is ridiculous...

 

I'd give up anything for my wife and family in a heartbeat

I never said they were the same, geez. It's a sliding scale of heartache, and it's pretty impossible to know how anyone else feels.  A lot of people won't let their kids play on jungle gyms because they are so worried about ... something. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

post #35 of 40

There are some people whose contributions to society are so enormous that they overshadow whatever domestic hardships were involved.  Perhaps Marie Curie is an example, although her husband pre-deceased her.

 

Then there are soldiers who die in battle.  Collectively, they contribute to something greater than a family.  Individually, it may be hard to call a single death anything but tragic.

 

Do extreme sports athletes fit in either of these categories?  Sometimes it seems to be implied that someone pushing the envelope is similarly important to society.

 

I have a bit of a problem with the idea that these special people need to do what they do because it's "who they are" or they just wouldn't feel alive without their pursuits.  It seems a bit short-sighted, but also rather non-adaptable.  I mean, what's an extreme skier's plan for age 65?  Or is the plan, implicitly, not to live that long?

 

What would we be saying if Shane McConkey had died in a car accident on the way to Safeway?  He'd be just as dead and the hole left in his family would be just as big, or would it?  Perception and context may color these things.  I don't know.

 

What if Shane had been a soldier in the special forces and died on a dangerous mission?  What about a training exercise?  Being a soldier is as much a career choice in the USA as being a skier.

 

Personally, I have a problem with the glamorization of risky behavior.  I have a bit less problem with those who choose the behavior.  We have to keep in mind that skiing and skydiving are statistically fairly safe and that most of the deaths in these sports aren't newsworthy.  I think somehow almost all of those impressionable teenagers avoid acting like lemmings.

post #36 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekchick View Post
 

@alexzn, I agree with you.  Part of the reason I posted the link to Erik Roner's Q & A is because he shares his fears, and the article a couple posts up, where I posted Action Sports After Death, which talks about how JT didn't BASE for a while after Shane's death because it got to him (understandably).

 

These guys have real fears and really are impacted by the passing of their friends.  I'm not sure how they continue on. 

 

The real question is, how do we emphasize the danger without losing the stoke?  Is it even possible? 

Easy.

The Money. It's now a job. Salary is higher for more radical.

Drink that Red Bull, support the cause.

post #37 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xela View Post
 

Personally, I have a problem with the glamorization of risky behavior.  I have a bit less problem with those who choose the behavior.  We have to keep in mind that skiing and skydiving are statistically fairly safe and that most of the deaths in these sports aren't newsworthy.  I think somehow almost all of those impressionable teenagers avoid acting like lemmings.

I am not sure I support the statement in italics, especially if you include BASE jumping into the skydiving umbrella.  BASE has 1-in-4 odds of dying, that's crazy high.   I fully support the statement in boldface.  

post #38 of 40

I think "storytelling" to yourself plays a big role.  When something bad happens, there is immediate shock, fear and dismay.  People say things like, "a horrible accident," "nothing he could have done", etc.  But wait awhile, and some people start to tell themselves stories.  "He did X, Y and Z wrong."  It restores the illusion of control and helps them believe it won't happen to them.

post #39 of 40
Base jumping is not under the skydiving umbrella or parachute. 80 year olds skydive.

How did you get 1 in 4 deaths for base jumping? Doesn't that strike you as suspiciously high?

Sky diving 3.2 million jumps, 24 deaths. 2013
That's 1 death in 133,333 jumps. Not one in a million but not bad.

What I found for Base jumping was 1death in 2,317 jumps. But 1 non fatal accidents in 254 jumps. (1995-2005 Norway. Over 20,850 jumps)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/17495709/
But wingsuits change everything. If one starts in a wing then parachutes, is that Base or wing?

This article alludes to a 2008 Swedish study that lists 1 death in 60 participants but I couldn't load it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/active/11612292/BASE-jumping-the-life-or-death-appeal-of-the-worlds-most-dangerous-sport.html
post #40 of 40
Well, could be a difference between stats per jump and per participant. One in 60 will accumulate to one in four pretty quickly.
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