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Some thoughts on IT...

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
I was going through an old backup CD from a previous job, and came across this. Just thought I'd share it with you...

First Law of Revision: Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after - and only after - the plans are complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law)

Second Law of Revision: The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: II. Any given program costs more and takes longer.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: V. Any program will expand to fill available memory.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: VI. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: VII. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: VIII. Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: IX. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: X. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.

Shaw's Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Rule of Accuracy: When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Peter's Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.

Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilisation.

Harrison's Postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Conway's Law: In every organisation there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

Hawkin's Theory of Progress: Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.

Gallois' Revelation: If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticise it.

Comin's Law: People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

Fourth Law of Thermodynamics: If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damned near zero.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation.

Sevareid's Law: The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Thoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intention of doing you good, you should run for your life.

Peer's Law: The solution to the problem changes the problem.

Pournelle's Law of Costs and Schedules: Everything costs more and takes longer.

...and my favourite...
MacDonald's Second Law: Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and give it back to them.

post #2 of 5
love Clarks third law!!
post #3 of 5
I like this one.

Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilisation.
post #4 of 5
A few that Fox missed:

Dorothy's Dilemma: The heavier the package and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.

Dickson's Gardening Discovery: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Rabbe's Rule of the Bedroom: The spouse who snores loudest always falls asleep first.

Todd's Rule of Bar Code Malfunction: The bar code in the checkout line won't work on items you're embarrassed to be buying.

Rosenbaum's Rule: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Parent's Law: By the time you're right, you're dead.

Smith's Fourth Law of Inertia: A body at rest tends to watch television.

[ September 21, 2002, 08:09 AM: Message edited by: nolo ]
post #5 of 5
Fourth "Great Lie"(from 40 years in the auto repair business)(Everyone knows the first three, they're standard)
"Just patch it up,I'm only going to keep it another month"
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