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Die laughing...

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
Well, you know what they say, either succeed, or die trying.
So, I say either joke, or die laughing.

How do you know if you're in love, lust or marriage?
LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

LOVE - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - all other times.
MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?

LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.

LOVE - when you share everything you own.
LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.

LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - what's a climax?

LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Hi".
LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

LOVE - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - when all you write is cheques.

LOVE - when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST - when you couldn't give a sh!t.
MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling ...".
LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week?".
MARRIAGE - when your farewell is silent.

LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake.

LOVE - when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST - when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties everytime you see them.

LOVE - when nobody else matters.
LUST - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - when it's just the same mushy old shit.
MARRIAGE - when you never listen to music.

LOVE - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - when just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.


Except now I can no longer joke. I have been accused of predicted attempted murder, i.e. if "you don't watch out you will kill ..."
I'm not sure what the jury will say at the trial.
I hope they talk about the 9 months of fun, the >2,800 posts and the odd bit of depth.
I hope you'll say that I put a smile on their faces, and made them think.
I hope that I've made this little corner of your office/bedroom(/wherever your PC is) a brighter place.

I will probably be back.
Don't know when.
I will forgive those who sent that email, if they want to be forgiven, but I believe they think what they did was fair and right.
In a sense, they have won.
They wanted me to leave, they have wanted that for some time, and now they have got what they wanted.
War doesn't decide who is right, only who is left. The fact that they will still be here in two hours time, and I won't doesn't mean they were right and I was wrong. (but I'm not claiming that I was 100% right, either)
It just means I got tired of "banging my heart against some mad bugger's wall".

So, farewell my friends. I'll keep my account open here so that I can keep in touch with you by PM.


[ August 10, 2002, 04:47 AM: Message edited by: Wear the fox hat ? ]
post #2 of 2
I'm with you. No more drama.

Nice to have known you, Stewart.
Perhaps we'll meet someday.
For what it's worth,
you've changed my life a little,
Zorro, and I love ya for it.

: Ciao.
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