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news flash Re: SCSA

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
Area husband pretends to give a sh*t

SCSA pretends to give a sh*t about wife's incessant

Denver, CO.-Attempting to pacify his wife incessant desire for
verbal interaction, area husband SCSA, pretended to give a sh*t Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.

According to SCSA, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which
comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Denver home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after SCSA began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.

"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said SCSA,
40. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but she immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."

Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as
"That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," SCSA pretended to give a sh*t about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when she was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.

"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," SCSA jokingly explained, adding
that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the treehouse, where he remained for several hours.

SCSA acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation
depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-sh*t veneer was not a complete waste.

"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for,"
said SCSA, who admitted to mentally drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While she was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."

In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, SCSA
mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a sh*t.

SCSA said he often pretends to give a sh*t about what his wife says.
"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in
their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said SCSA. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."

Added SCSA: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick
up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."

After six years of marriage, SCSA said he feels that his willingness to
pretend to give a sh*t about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.
"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but
occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' she would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said SCSA. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."

"I pretend to give a sh*t because I care," SCSA added.
>July 2002

[ July 31, 2002, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: Kima ]
post #2 of 22
Don't underestimate the effectiveness of the strategically timed eye contact - the "i care" gaze - followed by the thoughtful "oh yeah?"
(then, when she's continued - but not too soon! - you can subtly re-direct your gaze to the sports section. but if you hear that pause in the babble, by all means LOOK UP.
post #3 of 22
1) First of all, she don't work. If I let her work, that means she gets to make decisions, right? No way.

2) We don't camp, because she won't sleep on the ground. Says it has something to do with her childhood. Whatever. So our idea of camping is the Motel 6.

3) That's right. I know something is really important and to start paying attention when she starts yelling. Or, in her case, chasing me around the house trying to stab me with a ski pole.
post #4 of 22
You mean to say your wife is sooo stupid that she can't make decisions?

Surely some decisions are genetically coded into women:
The best way to iron shirts
How to cook not quite as good as your mother
Which room should be cleaned first
What temperature your beer should be served to you when you get home from playing golf.

Unfortunately they also have other things coded in:
How to nag
How to stand at a check out for ages, watching the groceries coming through, doing nothing, then once they've all been put through the till, then they start to pack, and then, while I'm waiting behind her, then she decides to open her handbag, try to find her purse, then start looking for the discount coupons, meanwhile I've worked out how much my basket comes to, have got the money counted out, and I'm still waiting for her to find her purse... : (sorry, was shopping last night and this sort of thing really p!sses me off)


P.S. Can anyone explain why I'm single?
post #5 of 22
" P.S. Can anyone explain why I'm single? "

.....and very likely to stay that way I should think Renard. :
post #6 of 22
Stop breaking my heart like that

post #7 of 22

How often would you say you drop the old "My I.Q. is..." bomb on the maybe-leading-to-good-things chats you have with the fairer sex? Never? First thing? Only if it comes up?
"Hey, it's raining. Which reminds me, have you ever heard of MENSA?"
post #8 of 22
Reminds me of the time an old girlfriend and I broke up.....

During one of our last conversations post breakup, she asked "Can you name the name of just ONE of my old boyfriends?"

Not knowing what this had to do with the price of condoms, I could not remember a SINGLE name, thinking this is either because she'd had so MANY old boyfriends, or I wasn't listening. Probably the latter.....

Perhaps I should start a pole to find out.......
post #9 of 22
What a WEIRD-ARSS question to ask.
post #10 of 22
Totally - that girl gave me a glimpse of the Bizarro world. :
post #11 of 22
Double Post

[ July 31, 2002, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: Jaws ]
post #12 of 22
Your question puzzles me, I've never thought about it. Maybe I should try it on your daughter???

What would you advise my normal discursive topics should be?

post #13 of 22
daughter? goodness, i'm barely able to manage the upbringing of my cat.
post #14 of 22
You mean she wasn't your daughter?

post #15 of 22
Even though you walked right into it, I'll leave THAT one alone, thank you. (Too easy AND it's a known-fact that enough here are easily - ahem, BOTHERED - by off-color humor.) But I DO appreciate the set-up.
post #16 of 22
... meanwhile I've worked out how much my basket comes to, have got the money counted out, and I'm still waiting for her to find her purse... (sorry, was shopping last night and this sort of thing really p!sses me off)
Well, duh! Let's see: Beer x 10 = $$$ (pounds)

Not exactly rocket science.

post #17 of 22
Who's Renard?
post #18 of 22
famous french painter in honor of whom the frogz named their national car.
post #19 of 22
Is he not one of the baddies in TWINE?

or is that a faux pas?

post #20 of 22
Renoir, Renault, Renard: it's all the same...
post #21 of 22
OK who/what was/is Dauphine?
post #22 of 22
Lucky - If you spell it right, she's the physical therapist in Frasier.
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