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post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
A man goes into the doctor...

"I feel like a cricket stump"
Doc: "How's that"
"Don't you start as well"
Another man comes in with a strawberry lodged in his skull...
Doc: "I'll give you some cream for that"
And the third man goes in with a lettuce leaf in his ear.
The doctor looks at him for ages, and is looking very serious.
The man says to him "Doctor, what's wrong, I mean, it's only a lettuce leaf"
The doctor replies "I'm sorry sir, but the lettuce leaf is just the tip of the iceberg."
A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: "Say Aahh"
Doc: "Thanks for the sympathy. My dog just died"
post #2 of 15
A man walks into a doctor's surgery wearing nothing but a roll of cling film.
The doctor says "Well I can clearly see you're nuts!"

A man walks into a doctors surgery and the doctor asks what the problem is. The man says " I keep thinking I'm Tom Jones - is this a problem"
The doctor replies "It's not unusual"

A man walks into a bar - "ouch!"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A bra and a pair of jump leads walk into a bar and order a drink. The barman refuses to serve them. They ask why he is refusing to serve them. He replies "Well you're off your tits and you mate's about to start something."

A seal walks into a club.

Two blondes walk into a bar - you'd think one of them would have seen it!

That's enough for now but if you would like any more let me know I have hundreds of terrible jokes although the seal one still makes me laugh!
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
Hello Loke,
And welcome to the forum!

How is sunny Guildford today?


[ July 29, 2002, 07:32 AM: Message edited by: Wear the fox hat ? ]
post #4 of 15
Sunny Guildford is well... sunny.
And mighty hot, can't wait to get home and take off all these clothes! Unfortunately I am still living with my folks whilst trying to find a proper job so that's not quite as exciting as it sounds.
Can I just ask whether you actually do any work ever cos you are on every forum I have ever looked at on this site!
post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
I was "Working from home" today.
Tomorrow and Wednesday I'll be working in Slough, and then Friday I'm in central London. Then from next Monday until December I will be in Peterborough 5 days a week, but I'll still try to post the odd time!

post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 
...should have added...
Where has the good weather gone?

I'm stuck inside in a thunderstorm!

post #7 of 15
OH that is sad, a thunderstorm, don't worry though, looks like we will be having one soon. Well it's certainly more exciting than sorting out these drawings!
So are you a seasonnaire or just like skiing?
post #8 of 15
No...no thunder till late tonight cos I want to get home from the Prom without getting wet.

Looking at the window from this air-conditioned office I have no idea if it's 15 or 30 degrees out there in the murk.
post #9 of 15
(in a Homer Simpson donut voice)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, murk. :
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
Did you say "Murk"?

As in "Murk & Mundy"?

Na? No? Na? No?

post #11 of 15
Murk, like lurk. Not Lurch. Or church.

I like murky days as well as sunny ones. Us psycho's are like that, you know.

Some of the greatest blues tunes go with murky days. I just got a copy of "Riding With The King" by Eric Clapton and B.B. King.


[ July 31, 2002, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: Bonni ]
post #12 of 15
Thread Starter 
I think her comments remind me of another doctor one...

An extremely inebriated man goes in to the doctor's complaining of various ailments.
The doctor starts to examine him, but is unsure of what is the problem, but believes it to be alcohol related.
So he says to the man "I can't tell you what's wrong with you. I blame the drink"

The man replies "Oh, OK, I'll come back when you're sober"

post #13 of 15
You must of heard this one but if you haven't:
A woman is seeing the doctor and she says "I fell over and I think I have broken everything cos it hurts here, here, here, here and here (she points)."
The doctor says "You haven't broken everything, just your finger"

Yeah I know it's terrible but there you go!
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
I heard that one just last week, but it's more a visual gag, and I wasn't sure how to post it here so it would sound good, but hey, you did a good job!

post #15 of 15
I'm sorry Bonni but have you gone slightly mad? You have seemed at least vaguely sane in the previous threads I have read that you have written but I think now it has finally gotten too much for you!
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