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The Rules (from men's point of view)

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to
hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! Please note ...
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints do not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! . Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
post #2 of 4
trying to start an argument is NOT the way to get your guy to "talk more."

[ May 24, 2002, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: ryan ]
post #3 of 4
I agree with nos. 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, and 1.

But No. 1? No way!

And No. 1? Think about it.

No. 1, by the way, could get you in a lot of trouble!
post #4 of 4
You forgot:

1. Body noises are cool.
1. Things don't need cleaning cause they'll just get dirty again ANYWAY.
1. Men do prefer the company of other men.
1. The dog does understand you.
1. Beer IS medicinal and should be used liberally.
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